Handshakes

[tdr1nka]

As I mentioned elsewhere, I got involved in a right hotch-potch of 'handy-wandys' with a drug peddler from Amsterdam at the weekend.
I wasn't expecting the two lips though...

Did you clog him one?

 

[simoncc]

I always offer a very limp hand at first to lull them into a false sense of security, then suddenly enclose their fingers in a vice like grip and bend them backwards till they sink to their knees with tears streaming down their face.

I think it's important to establish a pecking order from the outset.

I've discussed super crusher handshakers with other people. We regard them with a mixture of mild annoyance and sympathy, and they go to the bottom of the pecking order for their need to indulge in such an odd habit, one that is probably rooted in some kind of insecurity.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

I've discussed super crusher handshakers with other people. We regard them with a mixture of mild annoyance and sympathy, and they go to the bottom of the pecking order for their need to indulge in such an odd habit, one that is probably rooted in some kind of insecuritysuperiority.

I think that's what you meant, Simon.

 

[Aperitif]

Did you clog him one?

Nah! He would have been 'M A D E up' if I had been dopey enough to do that...

 

[Joe24]

I had a mock interview at school, and the guy(from the Army) said i had a good hand shake
When i met my GF's dad he shook my hand, so i did a firm handshake, he also squeezed my hand firmly, but it wasnt a crushing the hand one.
I will purposely squeeze someones hand, i normally only do it if someone has said something taking the piss out of me, so i shake their hands to show no hard feelings, then just crush their hand
I have been told by women that my handshake is abit hand crushing, but i dont think im putting that much force into, it just happens.

 

[Dayvo]

I have been told by women that my handshake is abit hand crushing, but i dont think im putting that much force into, it just happens.

Ooh, you brute!

 

[another_dave_b]

Has anyone elses noticed that there is a type of man who regards a handshake as a test of strength, administering a crushing grip to unsuspecting victims?

Why do they do it?

I remember a sales rep who damn near broke my hand. He didn't get a sale.

 

[Joe24]

Ooh, you brute!

I often comment one their grip/wrist strength aswell, they give me a strange look, laugh then walk off B)

 

[rich p]

I had a mock interview at school, and the guy(from the Army) said i had a good hand shake
.

Did you take the piss then?

 

[Joe24]

Did you take the piss then?

Yeh, i told them the job i do already is a male excort, i was from Russia but i do a good impression of English people, i work hard and for under the minimum wage if i get paid the money cash in hand. Also said i need the job to pay for my wife and 6 kids back in Russia.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Have you ever tried shaking hands with a man that doesn't grip?

It's like holding wet lettuce.

Shaking hands with a lady, one should grip and support her hand, but not squeeze, but be reassuringly firm. Imagine how you would cuddle her on a cold winter's night, strong yet still tender.

If a bloke does the 'World's Strongest Man' grip on you, wince and cry out in pain then, as he momentarily releases his grip, push into the web of his hand and squeeze, whilst turning your hand on top of his, so yours is uppermost. It's pure dog psychology, but it works.

 

[Night Train]

I will give a firm but reasonable hand shake but when faced with a show off bone crusher I will give like for like. Working with hand tools does interesting things to your grip strength.

 

[Chuffy]

I usually try to match my handshake to the person I'm shaking. I do hate that dead lettuce thing though.

 

[Globalti]

I can't believe you are all discussing firm handshakes when, as CP has written, the worst kind of handshake is the type where the instigator holds out his hand flat with the palm facing downwards, forcing you to accept the shake with your palm upwards. This is the worst kind of patronising, superior big man handshake, with deep anthropological meanings. You are forced to expose your hand while he dominates you.

Apparently the way to deal with it is to place your own hand palm down on top of his, reversing the whole effect, which will embarrass him deeply in a way he probably won't understand.

My boss who is a boorish loud domineering bully type uses this handshake.

 

[Mr Pig]

My father-in law, this guy LINK, has a bone crusher hand shake. Pisses me off ;0)

Me? I don't even want to touch you in the first place!