Haven't got a corkscrew?

[Fnaar]

I used to visit Portugal regularly, and developed a taste for chilled vinho verde, but I haven't had it in years.

 

[PaulSecteur]

Surley not having a corkscrew is a poor persons problem. I only drink top quality stuff and it comes with a screw on top.

I pity those that have no choice but to drink that old unwanted stuff in dusty old bottles.

I had my butler throw out all that old "Chateau blah-blah 69" years ago...

 

[Crackle]

You can actually buy Champagne Sabres, who knew. No practical purpose other than a load of old honk if the advertising blurb is anything to go by

Add a feeling of exclusivity to your dining settings........ Ideal for opening your favourite champagne in style, this sabre has a sensual and organic shape which oozes luxury. Designed by Helle Damkjær it is part of the Indulgence collection to infuse decadence to every dinner party.

A sensual and organic shape: They probably mixed it up with the vibrators they sell. Now knocking the end off with a vibrator would be decadent, if you see what I mean.

 

[srw]

The port side?

[omero simpson]
Dão!
[/omero simpson]

Douro back, Madeira. I've Azores head.

 

[srw]

You can actually buy Champagne Sabres, who knew. No practical purpose other than a load of old honk if the advertising blurb is anything to go by

I knew the result of the way he poured it reminded me of something....

 

[rich p]

You can actually buy Champagne Sabres, who knew. No practical purpose other than a load of old honk if the advertising blurb is anything to go by

Add a feeling of exclusivity to your dining settings........ Ideal for opening your favourite champagne in style, this sabre has a sensual and organic shape which oozes luxury. Designed by Helle Damkjær it is part of the Indulgence collection to infuse decadence to every dinner party.

A sensual and organic shape: They probably mixed it up with the vibrators they sell. Now knocking the end off with a vibrator would be decadent, if you see what I mean.

Filth...

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I haven't had it in years.

Are you deliberately setting up for a Miss Goodbody response?

 

[slowmotion]

Whoaaah! Elfin safety moment. Anyone else remember the pump corkscrew with a CO2 cartridge? And anyone remember the public safety warnings about not using them to open Mateus Rose?

Was Mateus Rose the stuff with the advert of women in floaty skirts wandering along a bucolic riverbank in France? I'm starting to remember all kinds of strange wines now.

Hirondelle anybody? The rumour was that there was a giant wine supertanker filling up at absolutely anywhere on the Med that had a local glut before the vile liquid was pumped into bottles for the unsuspecting public. It was cheap though.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Food-and-Drink/Question153160.html

Black Tower?

Le Piat D'Or?

 

[srw]

Blue Nun.

Paul Masson California Carafe.

And there was a very cheap French wine which was as dull as anything. In the 1990s I was given a bottle of wine for doing a concert, and was very excited until I opened the bag to discover this god-awful plonk. We still drank it - I was, after all, still a student.

 

[Cubist]

Was Mateus Rose the stuff with the advert of women in floaty skirts wandering along a bucolic riverbank in France? I'm starting to remember all kinds of strange wines now.

Hirondelle anybody? The rumour was that there was a giant wine supertanker filling up at absolutely anywhere on the Med that had a local glut before the vile liquid was pumped into bottles for the unsuspecting public. It was cheap though.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Food-and-Drink/Question153160.html

Black Tower?

Le Piat D'Or?

I lived in Germany in 1984/85. Supermarkets were selling tetrapaks of "wine lake" surplus, red or white (both flavours) for silly money. A litre was more or less as cheap as a bottle of beer, and they weren't exactly overcharging for that. It certainly helped eek out a student grant. That said it coincided with the Austrian wine scandal, shite wine weetened with diethylene glycol. Mmmmmm, tasty.

 

[Fnaar]

Lots of other ways here, if you are desperate
https://www.yahoo.com/food/how-to-open-a-bottle-of-wine-with-everything-but-a-73520983092.html

 

[srw]

Lots of other ways here, if you are desperate
https://www.yahoo.com/food/how-to-open-a-bottle-of-wine-with-everything-but-a-73520983092.html

One of which is actually 12 ways in one!

 

[jefmcg]

One of which is actually 12 ways in one!

disappointed by the last one, I'd have like to see the cork just rise out of the bottle when he put on the Vader mask. "I find you lack of grapes disturbing" or something.

 

[srw]

There's a video clip going round facebook at the moment - something like "Jedi Girl" - that's worth a squint.

Can you tell I'm getting bored by not being well enough to do much other than look at silly things online?

 

[Fnaar]

Don't open champagne like this though (contains a wee bit of sweariness)