Health & Safety, Helicopters and Custard Cream biscuits

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Did you know that the custard cream is Britain's most dangerous biscuit?
This all dates back to research that was published in September.
Revealed: The most dangerous biscuit in Britain is.. the Custard Cream
Sept 8 2009 By Janice Burns
CUSTARD creams are Britain's most dangerous biscuits, it was revealed yesterday A study claimed an estimated 25million people in Britain had been injured by biscuits.
Hidden dangers included flying fragments and daredevil dunking in scalding tea. And custard creams were the worst offenders, posing the biggest risk to innocent dunker's.
Around 500 people a year need hospital treatment because of biscuit injuries.
The study by Mindlab found 29 per cent of adults had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants from hot tea.
They also found 28 per cent had choked on crumbs and 10 per cent had broken a tooth or filling biting a biccy.
More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent were bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.
One man ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.
Mindlab have now devised a Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation, or B.I.T.E. Custard creams get a risk rating of 5.63.
The study was commissioned by Rocky - which was rated the country's third riskiest type of biscuit.
Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as dunkability and crumb dispersal.
"Then a mathematician correlated these findings with a nationwide survey of over 1000 adults."
Mike Driver, of Rocky, said: "Working with biscuits every day, we'd long suspected they're not as innocent as they look - and we were right."


Yesterday I was on an evaluation day, to see if I am a suitable candidate to be trained up for a particular task on a contract working in the North Sea Energy Fields. Health & Safely prevails there; after all it is one of the World's most dangerous working environments, and the job that I was being assessed for has it's own particular risks ..... being winched down from, and then back up to a Helicopter on the wind turbines in the off-shore energy fields.
I under took several evaluation tests and exercises including team building, team integration, team leading, individual troubleshooting, and independent thought to task processes, linear thinking skills, alternative thinking skills leading to rapid adaptability to the situation. We built bridges from drinking straws, towers from spaghetti and marshmallows. moved water around in cups and buckets from a tub, etc.
We went through individual and team health and safety, personal risk assessment, Safe working practices, permits to work, services (Electrical, hydraulic and mechanical) Isolation.
Everything went well until we stopped for a mid afternoon cuppa. Caterers bought in some of those huge pump action flasks of tea and coffee, along with various boxes of fruit juices and nibbles.
I went across to pour myself a cuppa, and to get something to eat, and was confronted by a plateful of Custard Cream biscuits. Now, my thought process is extremely fast, and this plate of Custard Creams presented me with a dilemma; Did they know, but were not bothered? Were they taking the piss? or was this part of the exercise I was undertaking?

I found myself reaching for my issued note book and Biro, walked around the table observing the plate of biscuits and then .....



I wrote a few notes of risk assessment, a few lines of Safe working practice, and a permit for me to eat a few of the now offending, but deliciously craved biscuits.

I was observed by one of the assessors, and asked what I was doing, and so I replied; highlighting about what I had read on the Internet and how dangerous Custard Cream Biscuits are, and the risks involved when you consume them.

I'm now sat at home wondering if I will be invited back to undertake and complete the Helicopter Winch transfer training. :cry::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

Fab Foodie

hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
Location
Kirton, Devon.
Well done! You can never be too careful...
 

Downward

Guru
Location
West Midlands
How many custard creams are consumed on average before an injury occurs ?

I reckon I have dunked 20 thousand custard creams without Injury !!
 
I would estimate I haven't had a custard cream for about 10 years. They were my favourite dunking bikkie at uni many moons ago, though. Never got injured by one, though it was rare to open a packet where at least one custard cream hadn't been injured in transit.
 

Baggy

Cake connoisseur
longers said:
Would you admit to being injured by a biscuit?
I had a nasty moment once after wedging a whole choccy Digestive in my mouth. It didn't snap and was very painful for several seconds.

Chuffy recently cut himself with a butternut squash, but dangerous vegetables probably deserve their own thread.
 

TheDoctor

Europe Endless
Moderator
Location
The TerrorVortex
How do you cut yourself with a butternut squash?????
Actually, forget I asked. I'm cringing at some of the possible answers...
*uses mind bleach*
 

Noodley

Guest
Baggy said:
Chuffy recently cut himself with a butternut squash, but dangerous vegetables probably deserve their own thread.

I'm trying hard, but I cannae seem to get away from replacing 'cut himself with' with 'impaled himself on' :biggrin::smile:
 

gaz

Cycle Camera TV
Location
South Croydon
i've got a packed of custard creams next to me, going to have to keep my eye on them!
 
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