Hello! I've replied to you in Beginners recommending route 65 in your area...
As for the unfitness. 10 miles is already pretty good. A lot of beginners, especially if they are trying to improve their fitness, struggle with a couple of miles. You get better very quickly. Going up to 13.5, you've already improved your distance by 33% remember. If you can do 13, then 20 is really not such a big leap. And then 30.... I know this might seem unlikely, but the more you do, the more you can add on. Up to last June, the most I'd ever done was 66 miles. Then I went and did 100. God, I hurt for the last 30 miles, and afterwards, but actually, it wasn't my legs that hurt from the effort, it was my bum and shoulders from being on the bike for 8 hours, and recovered really quickly.
It's all about practice. A little cycling regularly will work wonders. Do you go to work? Could you commute by bike? Could you go shopping on the bike? Do you have time to go out during the day each day, even just for half an hour or so? Lots of little trips will also improve your gear technique and your road sense and all that, just as well as fewer long trips.
With gears, what is your problem, knowing when to change, or the actual changing? The latter will just get better, like any physical skill. Knowing when to change will also come - the trick is to anticipate hills and change down early enough so that you don't end up grinding too hard, which is bad for the knees. Aim to keep your feet spinning at whatever rate (cadence) is comfortable for you, and have them spinning round fairly easily. If that means going very slow uphill to start with, so be it, you'll get faster.
If hubby gets frustrated then a) ask him to remember we all learn sometime

, and

you can always get some rides on your own to practise, or go out and do part of a route together, then you head home while he does an extra loop or something. But you'll catch up soon enough.
