Help with funeral suit misery

[classic33]

I'd go with the second option, if a suit is required.

 

[Alex321]

As others have said, I'd go for option 2.

So long as it is something dark, and not scruffy, nobody worries too much about the detail.

 

[Rusty Nails]

I have reached the age where funerals are probably my largest single form of formal/semi-formal socialising.

I used to have a suit that served as a conventional sort of uniform for such an event but, after my father's funeral ten years ago, where I wore it because it was expected of me (and I knew he was quite traditional, as were his siblings who survived him) I realised it was not really important and gave it to a charity shop.

I now just dress tidily (no jeans, but even that's not a crime) according to the weather and usually in darkish clothes, often sans tie. I haven't yet been invited to one of those funerals where people are asked to dress in bright clothes, but that would be a novelty.

I would regard any of those suits as suitable if you want to wear a suit.

 

[PaulSB]

I'm not going to comment on your suits. You say "no guidance has been issued on dress code." It's a feckin' funeral. The last thing a grieving family is concerned about is what people wear or soothing your personal anxieties by telling you what appropriate clothing is for a funeral. Frankly you're being selfish to even think guidance should be issued.

Wear something respectful that you feel comfortable in. Last funeral I went to I wore dark trousers, tie and dark sweater. Around 20 people turned out in club cycle kit as they had escorted the hearse to the crematorium.

 

[Webbo2]

I went to a couple of funerals of friends who died climbing in the 1980’s. Most people who attended dressed as they were heading out clubbing. I wore a pair of leopard skin tights.

 

[Mike Ayling]

Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend in a week or so and as usual find myself struggling for anything appropriate to wear.

No specific guidance on dress code has been issued so I assume it's pretty much standard fare. I do have an old mid-ish grey birdseye suit that's served me well, although the fabric's not hugely appropriate and the fit not great as I've lost a bit of weight and wasn't particularly savvy when I bought it.

I've just bought a Hugo Boss suit off ebay specifically for this event, but predictably it's too big (semi-intentionally in a desperate bid to get something without ridiculous skinny trousers, while the waist's coming up nearly a couple of inches larger than stated and a load more of the measurements are larger than ideal / other garments I have).

So, the choices I have are:

Appropriate fabric but too big and quality not great; makes me feel like 18yr old Darren in his £59.99 Asda suit on his first day in sales:

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Better fitting and less-inappropriate colours although mis-matched colours and somewhat inappropriate form (dark blue pinstripe jacket with peak lapels which seems a bit showy), darkish blue wool trousers:

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Less showy jacket with more reserved lapels, but a bit casual with it's tweedyness and brown buttons:

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Finally, wholly inappropriate light blue colouring (tbh this would be better for a summer wedding) but IMO the best fit and the most cohesive of the lot:

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If I didn't have the opportunity to return the recently-bought grey suit I'd probably just wear that as it's ostensibly the least-inappropriate, and just take the hit on it looking a bit crap. As it stands I'm not keen on keeping it though as it seems like a waste of money.

Equally I'm not really sold on any of the other options as being acceptable..

If I turned up to your funeral in any of the above, which would make you least likely to burst from your coffin and punch me in the nuts for my lack of respect?

Thanks

One or two.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I just have a generic dark suit and an overcoat (weather permitting). I wouldn't worry and I doubt you will be the centre of attention.

In fact, I have worn my Curling Club fleece (which is, admittedly black) to the funeral of a couple of Curling people.
I, once there, felt like I was perhaps a little under - dressed, but the family seemed to appreciate the touch, so it all depends on the situation, besides, with the Curling, people from the Royal Caledonian Curling Club (the Governing body in Scotland) tend to appear in their Scottish Blue ceremonial blazers or standard 'Official' blue jackets anyway (hardshell), so there is always colour and variety.

If I turned up to your funeral in any of the above, which would make you least likely to burst from your coffin and punch me in the nuts for my lack of respect?

Thanks

I'd be VERY surprised if I did, seeing as I'd be dead, so probably neither!
Thanks for coming and enjoy the sandwiches though! 😆😆😆

Well, you've definitely nailed the headgear.

I think the brown paper bag look is more 'in' this season to be fair darling!

Whichever one of 1 & 2 is the most comfortable (& has the most pocket capacity for securing ham sandwiches in).

Ah yes, the sandwich 'loot' at the end! 😆

 

[oxoman]

The last 2 funerals I went to i just wore black trousers with white shirt and black tie. One of those was an elderly neighbour just after covid and his own brother turned up in shorts and T-Shirt. I've been invited to funerals in the past and told no black, so dont over think it. I currently have 1 suit thats black and if I wear it once a yr your lucky.

 

[AndyRM]

Any of them, but put some shoes on too.

 

[Gwylan]

Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend in a week or so and as usual find myself struggling for anything appropriate to wear.

From the top #3. Maybe get a brighter tie
Given my beliefs funerals are when we say goodbye, remember the good stuff about someone, honestly.
Also commend them to the Almighty and reflect on our probable direction of travel.
That suggests a certain level of respectful celebration is involved.
Agree that muted colours work better.

At the funeral of a friend who has been a keen yachtsman a number of guys turned up in their Breton sailors hats. I'd taken mine and kept it tucked in a pocket. The family were delighted when first one friend rather sheepishly produced his hat, then another and so on. Made an ad-hoc guard of honour as he left the church

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

At the funeral of a friend who has been a keen yachtsman a number of guys turned up in their Breton sailors hats. I'd taken mine and kept it tucked in a pocket. The family were delighted when first one friend rather sheepishly produced his hat, then another and so on. Made an ad-hoc guard of honour as he left the church

That's what I was saying about the Curling Club - Sometimes there is no real 'right' or 'wrong' answer, although, just don't take the pish!
It also helps if you turn up with say, a club badge or similar to give the family as a token gesture.

@wafter, To be fair, I think the days of absolute formality are passing, but alas, it is also down to the individual, their family and the situation.

A cousin turned up to my Mum's funeral, unbeknownst to us (or most of us anyway), in a kilt, complete with the shirt and waistcoat jacket, etc, like he was at a wedding. Ok, he was about 8 but he was warmly received by all and he was probably the smartest looking one of us all there too, even the funeral service people were all cooing over him 😍😆 (he's always immaculately turned out by his Mum anyway and is a snappy little dresser himself, (I think he just wanted to show off his new kilt), so it was not too much of a surprise (actually, in a sea of suits and the usual attire, it was quite refreshing (as unfortunately I think was he by the end as it was in the middle of February, brrrr!🥶 But never mind, it was the sentiment that counted and he had his Mum, Gran and Grandpa and the rest of us to look after him anyway))).

Now, I am not suggesting you do that last example (not least because I doubt you are a cute little kid), but I also doubt the 'Fashion Police' will be there either (unless @Accy cyclist is going too, of course).

I have been to some humanist ceremonies and they have been some of the most memorable (and amusing) by far!
They are not to everyone's taste, I get it, but, hey ho, it's not their funeral anyway.

I was even at one for a teacher and various pupils arrived in School uniform.

It takes all sorts.