How do you control internet access for your kids?

[r04DiE]

But by using TOR you could load whatever you liked.

So make sure that they don't have privileges on the machine that would allow them to run TOR? There is no way to absolutely guarantee they won't access material that you don't want them to, but you can make it much more difficult than by doing nothing. And, as others have said - this should go hand in hand with good parenting.

 

[r04DiE]

Ermm.no.. As a parent, the best way to control it, is to discuss it, and not shy away from contentious issues. Be open, frank, and supportive with those children of an appropriate age.

Agreed, and that's why I put this:

^^This is also spot on and better than any other type of control. But if you need it, do it at the router.

 

[KneesUp]

So make sure that they don't have privileges on the machine that would allow them to run TOR? There is no way to absolutely guarantee they won't access material that you don't want them to, but you can make it much more difficult than by doing nothing. And, as others have said - this should go hand in hand with good parenting.

That's kind of tricky. It's in the Google Play store thing, for a start. You can run it off a USB stick also.

Looking at her laptop, I'd have to:

1) lock the BIOS down so it could only boot off the HDD
2) give her non admin access so she couldn't install anything (including Virtual Box etc where she could just create a virtual machine running whatever she wanted)
3) disable the USB ports (which would make using her mouse tricky!)

And if she was really determined, she could just get hold of a spare HDD, install her own OS at a friends house, and swap them over.

So yes, you're right - you can't block it against someone determined if they have physical access to the machine and a will to get past it. Which makes me think I might as well go with the "good advice" approach only anyway.

As I (think) I said earlier, she's not old enough to have much of an interest yet anyway, I'm just doing some preparatory research, I think because I'd just read her school's internet policy - but I guess schools have to be even more careful than parents as they have more kids to look after at a time.

 

[r04DiE]

That's kind of tricky. It's in the Google Play store thing, for a start. You can run it off a USB stick also.

Looking at her laptop, I'd have to:

1) lock the BIOS down so it could only boot off the HDD
2) give her non admin access so she couldn't install anything (including Virtual Box etc where she could just create a virtual machine running whatever she wanted)
3) disable the USB ports (which would make using her mouse tricky!)

And if she was really determined, she could just get hold of a spare HDD, install her own OS at a friends house, and swap them over.

So yes, you're right - you can't block it against someone determined if they have physical access to the machine and a will to get past it. Which makes me think I might as well go with the "good advice" approach only anyway.

As I (think) I said earlier, she's not old enough to have much of an interest yet anyway, I'm just doing some preparatory research, I think because I'd just read her school's internet policy - but I guess schools have to be even more careful than parents as they have more kids to look after at a time.

I agree.

 

[KneesUp]

Schools also have to be careful about what books they put in their libraries, depending on the rules in operation at the time (remember 'promoting homosexuality' being unacceptable?). Isn't this about teaching kids about interpersonal respect and privacy, rather than controlling what 'material' they are likely to look at?

Parents must have such a tough job keeping up - imagine if you caught your kids reading unsuitable books or magazines, you'd have to pile them up in the street and have a bonfire to set an example. Then there's that young-person music that includes references to drugs, violence, and sex. Tipper Gore had an answer to that one years ago (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parents_Music_Resource_Center), which involved putting a sticker on the cover of unsuitable LPs. I bet all that really worked to keep kids clean-minded. Let's ask Frank Zappa.

I was once given a Record Token by the local church. I can't remember why. My mum was appalled when I spent in on Licensed To Ill by The Beastie Boys - complete with Parental Advisory sticker

 

[smutchin]

Isn't this about teaching kids about interpersonal respect and privacy, rather than controlling what 'material' they are likely to look at?

Absolutely.

The problem with young people seeing porn is not witnessing people having sex per se, it's that a lot of porn depicts abusive, degrading and ostensibly non-consensual acts which, if they don't have adequate moral guidance from parents, can give them skewed ideas about what's normal behaviour in relationships.

 

[subaqua]

Or shows that they know how to deploy proxy browsing.

there is that but based on the questions I get asked on how to do quite basic stuff on a puter i don't think thats the case . Mainly because we talked to them about internet safety and not going to places they know they shouldn't. cos I will find out and let their mum know who is a much better bad cop than I can be !

 

[r04DiE]

Absolutely.

The problem with young people seeing porn is not witnessing people having sex per se, it's that a lot of porn depicts abusive, degrading and ostensibly non-consensual acts which, if they don't have adequate moral guidance from parents, can give them skewed ideas about what's normal behaviour in relationships.

Yes, this is exactly what is incomparable between porn and sex.

 

[smutchin]

Yes I know. But whatever parents try to do in terms of censorship, boys will still look at porn.

Having been a teenage boy myself once upon a time, I can vouch for this. We operate a don't-ask-don't-tell policy. My number one concern is to ensure that he doesn't get his ideas about how to treat women from things he might see on the internet. And I know you don't achieve that simply by operating a blanket ban - you need to take responsibility for moral guidance of your offspring, teaching them right and wrong so they're equipped to make appropriate decisions and judgments for themselves, rather than simply being told it's all bad and they mustn't look at it.

I'm inclined to agree with User, that heavy-handed policing of young people's internet usage is pretty futile and, like a lot of previous attempts at moralising censorship, doomed to fail.

For me, the main reason to prevent him having TV and internet access in his bedroom when he was younger was so he wasn't up all night looking at it, rather than to restrict him from seeing anything in particular. We don't have TV in our own bedroom for the same reason.

 

[adscrim]

You can't control social media etc etc,

Parents need to be extra vigilant of social media. There is some filth available on Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest where videos and images have been imbedded in a tweet, for example, and it doesn't register on the Parental controls (not our Sky Broadband filter anyway). Search for something sexual on twitter and it's not hard to find things you wouldn't want your kids to see.

 

[jonny jeez]

The focus in this thread seems to be skewed towards porn.

From my own experience, there are other elements of the internet that worry me far more.

These are far too hard to control (to the OP's question) as first, they need to be defined, or even acknowledged.

Whatsapp, snap chat, insta can all be very seedy, worrying and suspicious and these are considered as mainstream and as acceptable as say cyclechat, so lack any drive to "control"

 

[summerdays]

Those of you who think your children will - or have already - find a way around any controls you set, does that not highlight a basic flaw in your parenting?

The fact that your children will deliberately go against you? Would it not be better to have a conversation about that first?
Mine are no angels, and boundaries are meant to be pushed, and believe me they have done some stupid stuff, but something as basic as that would be a given.

I think in our case it's exploring and interest, rather than trying to deliberately go against us. And when it first happened I don't think we'd realised quite how savvy they were. He has always had an interest in computers, and started taking them apart at quite a young age (the first time was just the keyboard to "clean it", though he never shows any interest in cleaning his room, the inside of his computer gets regular maintenance and dusting).

 

[keithmac]

Sounds very similar to our house, although we haven't locked the internet down as they only access it in the living room (5 and 10 year olds).

My 10 year old lad has a good handle on what's acceptable viewing and he knows the Tivo passcode, but again there is always an adult about.

No TV's in the bedrooms at our house, maybe the odd early night and a Netflix film on the tablet now and again for our 10 year old but deffinitely no Youtube..