How to break her in gently?

[beanzontoast]

As for the commuting to work, she needs to view cycling (like driving) as something 'normal' and long-term. Weather is going to be a big factor in denting her enthusiasm - is she prepared for/kitted out to deal with the Winter/Spring?

 

[BrumJim]

Sometimes women need to know that there is a plan for if everything goes wrong.

I ski. If a bloke is struggling down a slope that is at the limits of his ability, I can get him down by getting him to be aggressive and attack the slope, rather than letting it scare him. Play on the ego, get the testosterone going, and he'll get down. Doesn't work with a lot of women. Spoke to a friend, as I had been asked to accompany a female friend down a tricky run. She said that as long as she new that there was a way down, even if it meant walking down, then she would be confident.

So if his GF knows that they will get home whatever happens, then she can relax, enjoy herself, and use up less energy as a result.

 

[Panter]

I completely agree with all the above, including Debians good advice.
Even a carp cyclist like me is capable of churning out 100miles at a steady pace, but when I first started out, 3 miles seemed like an infinite distance and it's very easy to forget that.

It probably will be boring and frustrating for you, initially, but it's so easy to put people off and this could turn into such a good thing

The tow rope isn't a bad idea actually, I used one with my Daughter a fair few times, gives you a hell of a workout too

 

[just4fun]

just let her lead and ride at her pace, it might be boring going at 7 mph but at least your out on the bikes together and the new forest is a lovely place to go. I would also say that you shouldnt go and get her in the car as it might make her feel like a faliure. If shes tired just walk for a bit or sit down on a fallen tree or something and take in the scenery. It wont be a club ride. make her your primary focus because if she enjoys herself she'll want to do it again.

 

[Spinney]

If she's never ridden more than 5 miles at a go, she may not have encountered getting saddle-sore! This could kick in if you are going for 15 miles or more, as she is not used to being in the saddle for that length of time.

When I started doing longer rides, I found the OH unsympathetic as it doesn't affect him. Other couples I have cycled with have a similar story - she gets a sore bum, he doesn't understand. So if she says she is getting a sore bum - believe her and show sympathy! And do understand that it hurts! And when you are a beginner, it is a reasonable reason for cutting a ride short.

Then buy her a pair of cycle shorts and tell her they work best without knickers underneath!

 

[BentMikey]

I would be tempted to take a thermos of tea or a brew-up kit, plus cake!

 

[HobbesChoice]

I would be tempted to take a thermos of tea or a brew-up kit, plus cake!

Only tempted BM? That's the best definite idea I've heard (above all the other good ideas on here!)

My two pennies worth is just that doing anything new or after a very long period of time feels really alien and you feel a bit silly to start with. Don't necessarily let her lead as she won't necessarily know which way to go and it's nice when you're new at something to have someone slightly ahead showing you what to do, where to be on the road etc, rather than have them explain what you should have done after the event.

When I was new I liked having someone slightly in front on turns etc, but who would stay as close to me as the road allowed on the straight.

But I don't think it would be a big deal if, on a long straight, you told her you were going to hammer off for a couple of minutes and then circle back to her to wear yourself out a bit too. Not often, but once or twice during the trip taking any and all pressure off her to be at a certain pace during that time wouldn't be punishable by death in my humble (and female) opinion (do something silly while ahead to make her laugh?). I say this because I'd hate a permanent spotlight on me making sure I'm ok. I'm out on a new bike ride, I'm not on my first journey home after extensive heart surgery.

It's nice to hear how concerned the OP is about this though.

 

[jonny jeez]

This whole post seems vaguely wrong to me, it smacks of "look at me, look how fit and amazing I am, I can ride 20 miles XC without taking a break"!

It has a condescending tone when you say "I've told her that if she gets so far and can't ride any more, we'll make our way to the nearest road, I'll ride back and get the car and come and pick her up". You shouldn't even be thinking like this, you should be planning a gentle, five - ten mile or so, cross country jaunt, relaxing and taking in the scenery with your girlfriend and her capabilities totally in mind; it's for her, not for you to show off. If you do it your way a) you're just showing off and it'll more than likely just put her off for life.

Plan a simple gentle ride. If she laps it up then you can start extending it next time.

+1

you need to chill...its her ride not yours, so dont use it as a training run, give up the day for your GF and ride so that she really enjoys it...in no time you will have a "Live-in ride buddy" who will be giving you a run for your money all summer....ooer

Well done for asking as it shows due consideration, but I agree with Debian...its too much about you and not enough about her (that's not like you at all, what's come over you man!!)

PS, I have ridden all over the new forest and there are a massive amount of "Glorious" pub's and stops that you can plan to really make the day enjoyable...if you feel really extravagant why not end at the Rhinefield for a massage.

http://www.handpickedhotels.co.uk/hotels/rhinefield-house/

trust me, its something else!!!!

Jonny

 

[Amanda P]

Pub stops. Cafe stops. Shopping stops.

There needs to be stops, and at this time of year you won't want to be hanging around out of doors for long: you/she will get cold, and cold and miserable tend to be close together.

The "wait here while I fetch the car" plan is a good one, but if she's waiting in the open, she could get awfully cold and miserable waiting for you. It'll seem like ages for her. I suggest if you have to do this, leave her in a town or pub, which will keep her occupied and warm.

I think she'll manage more miles than she thinks, but the stops will help a lot, both in keeping the overall mileage manageable, and giving time for muscles to recover. So I say, plan in lots of refreshment stops. I recommend the Royal Oak, Fritham, for lunch.

 

[dellzeqq]

just let her lead and ride at her pace, it might be boring going at 7 mph but at least your out on the bikes together and the new forest is a lovely place to go. I would also say that you shouldnt go and get her in the car as it might make her feel like a faliure. If shes tired just walk for a bit or sit down on a fallen tree or something and take in the scenery. It wont be a club ride. make her your primary focus because if she enjoys herself she'll want to do it again.

that's exactly right.

I speak with some experience here. The Babe has come on by leaps and bounds, but she's not as quick as I am. We cycle together because it's a pleasure to cycle together, and we go at her pace.

I'd take the front, though, and really keep your speed down. If someone is not that used to cycling it helps to not have to worry too much about what's ahead.

This isn't going to be a training ride - it's a love thing.

 

[wafflycat]

+1

you need to chill...its her ride not yours, so dont use it as a training run, give up the day for your GF and ride so that she really enjoys it...in no time you will have a "Live-in ride buddy" who will be giving you a run for your money all summer....ooer

Well done for asking as it shows due consideration, but I agree with Debian...its too much about you and not enough about her (that's not like you at all, what's come over you man!!)

+2

Chill, take it easy, encourage her, don't think it's about desperately trying to control the testosterone and racing at all costs.

 

[Wheeledweenie]

+2

Chill, take it easy, encourage her, don't think it's about desperately trying to control the testosterone and racing at all costs.

My first long-distance was with a group of lovely chaps from the Friday Night Ride to the Coast. They refused to let me dwell on how far I was going but I knew about how much time each leg was going to take. Lots of short breaks for tea, snack bars etc were great and chatting as we went completely took my mind off how far I was going.

I would suggest you agree to carry the food, repair kit etc as, extra weight makes a big difference if you're a novice, and make sure you have planned places to stop. If you want to be romantical about it you could take special snacks for her, things you know she likes and will give her a boost when she's tired.

Depending how much of a novice she is you might want to try and get her back before it's dark too. I'm happy on-road in the dark but I don't know how happy I'd be off-road.

 

[Arch]

Ride next to her on the climbs, a gentle hand on the back works wonders, don't know how but it does.

True, and even more bizarrre, it works on a tandem too, apparently. I was out with a friend, he was captaining. At one point, I put my hand on his back and he said it felt like I was pushing him along, even though we were obviously pedalling at the same rate.

I guess it's just a psychological reflex - pressure on back equals help pushing...

With regard to the OP and distance, I suppose this might not work, but a good way is to plan a circular route at a certain radius from home/the car. Whatever point you're at, you'll never be more than, say, 5 miles from home, and the total length of the ride depends on how much of the circle you do. Obviously, it depends on having suitable roads or tracks, and enough 'spoke' routes to get you back in, but it can often be done, roughly at least.

 

[Campfire]

Forget your own aspirations for this ride. You can make up for it when you're on your own. Keep asking her how she is. Don't go too fast or too far. If you seriously want her to enjoy cycling you've got to sacrifice something for her sake. Don't make it like a punishment for her. Just remember how long and how much effort it has taken to get yourself to the fitness level you are.
Carry a large pannier full of pebbles to help you slow down!

ENJOY YOURSELVES!