How to get rid of a dead tree.

[AndyRM]

Because I am a mungbean, I bought the biggest christmas tree I could find, not realising the terrible consequences.

Wouldn't fit in the car, had to saw the stump down to make it fit in the stand, we have two cats and a toddler, I had to chop a bit off the top to make it fit in the house, can't close the makeshift curtains without giving the thing a hug.

I could go on.

The beast needs removed at the weekend and I'm seeking the collectives advice on how to best do this.

Help me.

 

[PaulSB]

Lay an old sheet on the floor around it to catch needles. Cut off sections of branch small enough to fit in to a bin bag. Carry the trunk out.

 

[AndyRM]

Lay an old sheet on the floor around it to catch needles. Cut off sections of branch small enough to fit in to a bin bag. Carry the trunk out.

That's far too sensible an idea.

 

[rich p]

Out through the window?
Trunk first!

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Get a quote of a local lumberjack

 

[raleighnut]

Lay it on an old sheet like @PaulSB says then wrap the sheet tightly around it and carry it outside (trunk first obvs)
Then you stand it up and put a match to it.

 

[AndyRM]

Lay it on an old sheet like @PaulSB says then wrap the sheet tightly around it and carry it outside (trunk first obvs)
Then you stand it up and put a match to it.

I will film it and submit for a Turner Prize.

 

[Drago]

Stick it in a freezer, then chop it up with a band saw. Dump the parts at sea.

 

[AndyRM]

Stick it in a freezer, then chop it up with a band saw. Dump the parts at sea.

How big is your freezer?!

 

[raleighnut]

I will film it and submit for a Turner Prize.

They go up quite well, DAMHIKT.

 

[AndyRM]

Out through the window?
Trunk first!

Nah, if it got jammed we'd have a pine fresh room for nearly a fortnight.

 

[AndyRM]

They go up quite well, DAMHIKT.

Did you watch me burning one where we used to live and nearly setting the hedge on fire?

 

[biggs682]

Leave it up for next year

 

[raleighnut]

Did you watch me burning one where we used to live and nearly setting the hedge on fire?

No I speak from experience.

Luckily I've got a woodburning stove to cope with the burnt stick that is left though.

 

[Globalti]

Dump it in the canal next time you go down with a bag of rubbish and a Mobike that you've broken?