How to get rid of a dead tree.

[Joey Shabadoo]

Wrap it up in bin bags thusly -

Wait until the wee sma hours then struggle with it (loudly) to your car

 

[Drago]

Murder someone with it, and the police will neatly wrap it up and take it away as evidence.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Leave it there - the woodworm will do the rest.

 

[graham bowers]

Game over tree,
Thanks @PaulSB!

View attachment 389853

Friends have a wood burning stove and I've offered them this all chopped up, anyone know much about drying/preparing it properly? I assume it won't be much more use than kindling once I've cut it all back?

Normally I'd say saw to length, split and leave a year, but it has so many knots it'll be a nightmare to split. In the round, allow a year per inch of diameter plus a year to season. There are potential issues with resin condensing out in the chimney, but I doubt one xmas tree will matter. Or cut it up, dump at the recycling centre and resolve to buy an artificial one next year. I burn old Xmas trees in the garden in a chimenia whilst supping red wine - which probably goes to explaining my post in the weightwatchers thread.

 

[Mr Celine]

You should have got this guy in.

 

[User10571]

You should have got this guy in.

Whoa!

 

[Beebo]

When i was young, free and single (and slightly more silly)i lived in a very posh flat right on the Thames.
We just dropped our tree straight into the Thames from the balcony.
From the same balcony we also oversaw a burial at sea for my flat mates dead chinchilla, but thats a different story.

 

[tyred]

Have you run out of dynamite?

 

[BoldonLad]

I am deeply shocked that so few people mentioned recycling.

 

[AndyRM]

Andy is the only one in his household to use hairspray - he hero-worships Donald Trump, even down to the hair and yellow skin.

Yeah!

 

[AndyRM]

Maybe I owe you a slight apology

Tried some more hairspray.

What do you think?