How to tactfully refuse a gift.

[SpokeyDokey]

I occasionally obtain tickets for football matches from an acquaintance.

With the latest pair he has wished me Merry Christmas and said don't worry about the money.

This is all carried out via e-mail so the opportunity to decline the offer face to face was not there - I would've found this much easier.

I really feel awkward about accepting this gift and would like very much to pay him for them but without causing any offence.

For the life of me I can't think what to say to achieve this.

Any ideas please fellow CCers?

 

[nickyboy]

Either suck it up and accept or ask in the future that perhaps he gives the tickets to someone else. Not that you don't enjoy the football but you think that someone a bit keener than you might get more from the experience

No way you can pay him if you do keep accepting. Either offer to make a donation to a charity of his choice or gift him something of similar value

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Have you always accepted them in the past?
What's different about these tickets, what makes it awkward?

 

[Dayvo]

Just buy him a beer or two when the opportunity arises, and then say you've gone off football and prefer to watch Riverdance these days.

 

[Starchivore]

Have you always accepted them in the past?
What's different about these tickets, what makes it awkward?

I think he usually gets them from the buy but pays for them. This time the guy has said that they are free as an Xmas gift.

I can see it's a bit awkward- quite a significant value gift from an acquaintance.

You want to maybe email back and say "thanks, that's really generous of you- but I've got to insist on paying as normal" but in a more light and tactful way, that makes it light and almost jokey so that no offence can be taken.

But he can still counter by saying no it's free, and then there's not much you can do unfortunately.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I think he usually gets them from the buy but pays for them. This time the guy has said that they are free as an Xmas gift.

I can see it's a bit awkward- quite a significant value gift from an acquaintance.

You want to maybe email back and say "thanks, that's really generous of you- but I've got to insist on paying as normal" but in a more light and tactful way, that makes it light and almost jokey so that no offence can be taken.

But he can still counter by saying no it's free, and then there's not much you can do unfortunately.

Ah, I see now. Thanks

 

[SpokeyDokey]

I think he usually gets them from the buy but pays for them. This time the guy has said that they are free as an Xmas gift.

I can see it's a bit awkward- quite a significant value gift from an acquaintance.

You want to maybe email back and say "thanks, that's really generous of you- but I've got to insist on paying as normal" but in a more light and tactful way, that makes it light and almost jokey so that no offence can be taken.

But he can still counter by saying no it's free, and then there's not much you can do unfortunately.

Yes, I always pay him for them.

 

[nickyboy]

I think he usually gets them from the buy but pays for them. This time the guy has said that they are free as an Xmas gift.

I can see it's a bit awkward- quite a significant value gift from an acquaintance.

You want to maybe email back and say "thanks, that's really generous of you- but I've got to insist on paying as normal" but in a more light and tactful way, that makes it light and almost jokey so that no offence can be taken.

But he can still counter by saying no it's free, and then there's not much you can do unfortunately.

Ah, I'd misread the OP. You're right. And if he still says no you can offer a charitable donation which would be hard for him to refuse and may make the OP feel a bit better about things

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Yes, I always pay him for them.

If possible, I'd meet with him face to face and say that although you really do appreciate the gesture, you can't accept it without either paying for them or giving the equivalent amount to his favourite charity. All done in your best friendly but firm manner and with a smile.

 

[Andrew_P]

Is it within a business or personal? If Business I would refuse and send the dosh if personal a bit more difficult other than buying something to give back for the same value.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

Is it within a business or personal? If Business I would refuse and send the dosh if personal a bit more difficult other than buying something to give back for the same value.

Personal.

 

[Cheddar George]

Donate the value of the tickets to charity.

I have done this when a friend will not accept payment for something, it is surprising how quickly things can escalate in this situation even between good friends. They are always happy especially if it is a cause close to their heart.

 

[MiK1138]

accept the gift in the spirit it was given

 

[Ciar]

accept the gift in the spirit it was given

this and possibly offer spirits in return, next time you meet

 

[Bonefish Blues]

accept the gift in the spirit it was given

This, it's what the gifter wants.