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How to work out your job "value ability"

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Elmer Fudd, 25 Sep 2007.

  1. Elmer Fudd

    Elmer Fudd Miserable Old Bar Steward

    This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%?

    What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

    Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

    We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

    How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



    and


    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
     
  2. col

    col Veteran

    Ah,where you watching the alan titchmarsh show earier today?:biggrin:
     
  3. Elmer Fudd

    Elmer Fudd Miserable Old Bar Steward

    NO !!! (Oh, go on then yes !)