Thanks for taking the time to compile a serious reply to what was meant to be a humourous thread, and a bit of a dig at our Accy and his car buying habits!
I picked a fairly random item in the table tennis bat, but having said that I used to play quite a lot when younger (i.e. nearly half a century ago) and now semi retired I am thinking of taking it up again with a local group of other retirees. Being slightly put off by having a dodgy left hip as a result of a cycling accident a few years back, which restricts side to side movement a bit.
If I do start playing again it will be beginner level, and I will be using some of my existing collection of 4 bats which are not very old and are hardly used, sadly. One of them has no sponge or rubber at all, just wood with a fine sandpaper playing surface. Good for playing against an opponent who puts strong spin on the ball, but I'm not even sure if such a bat is allowed in competitive play?