Ideas to Improve Sport

[Drago]

Long jump - the sand for up to 1" short of the world record to be electrified. This ensures a record of some sort is liable to be broken at every event.

Triple jump - competitors must wear Rollerblades.

Caber tossing - the caber to be replaced with a bound and gagged politician of their opponents choosing.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Long distance running track events, all competitors can carry cattle prods

 

[Drago]

Deadlift - competitors to eat a bar of ex lax 30 minutes before the competition.

Clean and jerk - competitors to wear high heels.

Bench press - all the weight to be placed on one end of the bar. Points deducted for every degree from horizontal the competitor holds the bar at full extension.

 

[Punkawallah]

I like the idea personally of taking away the advantages of better kit, car or bike in sport. Imagine if F1 had all the cars set up the same way so the best driver wins not the best team. Is Veratappen really a lot better than those drivers in the minor teams who make the numbers up?

Were British cyclists really that much better than cyclists from other nations during all those highly successful years when they had the best backroom team and kit that money could buy?

It’s the same for any sport. Someone who has the time to train and a good diet will have an advantage over someone who does not.

 

[Drago]

F1 - cars to be driven by remote control on a smartphone from the pits.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Deadlift - competitors to eat a bar of ex lax 30 minutes before the competition.

Clean and jerk - competitors to wear high heels.

Bench press - all the weight to be placed on one end of the bar. Points deducted for every degree from horizontal the competitor holds the bar at full extension.

Deadlift - they lift a coffin with a dead body in it. Celebrity version a glass coffin is used with a dead celeb inside, audience prizes for guessing who it is.

 

[Jenkins]

Football:

Instead of boring penalty shootouts they should copy pinball and have a multiball phase at the end of normal play. Every 5 minutes without scoring an extra football to be introduced into play

Or every 5 minutes one player per side is to be taken out by snipers with tranquilliser darts, that player to be selected by fan vote.

 

[matticus]

Rugbyists must break wind at key points when doing the haka. Any player that sheets by accident is instantly sent off.

Well that's not going to work, you muffin.

But it may be the final piece in my TV idea: Strictly Haka.

 

[matticus]

Kung Fu - all participants must speak English, but with their lips out of sync to make it look like it has been overdubbed from Cantonese.

Nice.

(I would pay for Subscription Sports TV if the interviews were dubbed by the same guy Eurotrash used.)

 

[Moon bunny]

All womens’ sport:-the competitor/s to wear knee-length flowery dresses.

 

[Moon bunny]

And floppy-brimmed straw hats in summer.

 

[Profpointy]

Javelin should be more like archery and thrown at targets. No good chucking your spear a long way if it misses the enemy hoplite !

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Javelin should be more like archery and thrown at targets. No good chucking your spear a long way if it misses the enemy hoplite !

Targets should be the host countries politicians tied to posts.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

The National Ploughing Championships to be held at Wembly on the morning of the cup final.

 

[raleighnut]

All womens’ sport:-the competitor/s to wear knee-length flowery dresses.

Likewise all male sports to be played in morning suits.