Is my wife being unreasonable?. The sequel


I'm 51, my wife is 43. We've been together 20 years and we're happy.

We both have good jobs, but both work long hours. I earn more than her, but not by much, and the difference has never been an issue. We also share child care and household chores between us.

We started talking about retirement recently, and I jokingly said that at least I only have 9 years to go while she has nearly double that. Her response was “why do you want to stop work while I'm still working?”.

She likes her job and wants to work to 60. I'm less enamoured with mine and reckon I'll just about make it to 60 before collapsing from exhaustion. The prospect of adding on another 5-7 years fills me with horror!

Obviously, working for longer would mean holding-off drawing on investments and pension, but we'll still be financially comfortable.

I left school at 18 and have worked ever since. She went to Uni and also had a career break and so if we both work to 60 she'll have worked for 5 years less than me. Needless to say I haven't included the maternity leave within that as there's no way that that's a rest!

I'm digging my heels in, and have said that I’m happy to do the remaining household chores etc. once retired, but Mrs S is really not happy.

What do you think?

Fab Foodie

hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
Kirton, Devon.
I think you only get one life ....


Puzzle game procrastinator!
I don't understand why she is complaining about having to do a job that she wants to do! If she hated her job, but would have to stick with it to make ends meet, then that would be different.

She wants to carry on working, so she should carry on working. You want to stop, so you should stop.

That's the logic of it, but I anticipate that there is going to be ill-feeling over this ... Either you will retire and she will resent it, or you won't and you will resent it!

I hope you manage to come to an agreement on this. :thumbsup:
I think your wife is slightly out of order there!

I enjoy my job too, and if we were in the position for one of us to pack it in I'd happily let Mrs Dave retire first.

How about semi retiring? Get the Monday and Friday off.....


Hmmm .....



Über Member
Is the problem more to do with your job? How about if you semi-retired and left you job you don't like and do some work that you do like. Compromise is where it's at in relationships. Apparently. (I am single so my advice is to be taken with extreme caution or you may end up single too!).


Grumpy Old Barstool
Oop North (ish)
I'm 51, my wife is 43. We've been together 20 years and we're happy.
What do you think?
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I'm not sure that you're in a position to answer that, I think all you can say is that you are happy it would appear that maybe she is not.


Perhaps she just wants to know what you're going to get up to while she's still working. She might not like the idea of you having an extended holiday as it were.
Only way to find out is ask her.
I don't really see the problem, Mr 6 is only a year older than me but has put in more years working than me, I fully expect him to retire before me. I may be jealous of his leisure time when it comes down to it but I won't expect him to carry on working if he doesn't want to.
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