Is my wife being unreasonable?. The sequel
- Thread starter slowwww
- Start date
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snorri
Legendary Member
- Location
- East coast, up a bit.
Wot rich p said ^^^
.
I liked my job at 43, but definitely did not like it at 48 and couldn't have contemplated lasting out until 60
.Fair point. I could invite her to join the forum to comment on her state of happiness or otherwise, but if she read some of my other posts there's no way I'm going to get a 'happy' response to that question!
Possibly, but the irony is that she's always trying to get to get me to relax at weekends rather than rush around getting various projects done!
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
A slightly depressing point coming up ...
I won't (for once!) go on about the fact that I nearly died 10 years short of my pension ... this is about my best mate. We met 51 years ago.
He had to have a kidney transplant years ago and I spent years after that trying to persuade him to give up a job that he no longer enjoyed, and take early retirement on the grounds of ill health. He kept saying that he couldn't afford it, his pension would be too low etc. The last time I spoke to him about it was the weekend before Christmas and he said maybe it was time to consider taking that pension. He died 2 weeks later ...
Life is too short to be doing what you don't want to do if you have the option of doing what you do want to do - try and find a way of doing that!
I won't (for once!) go on about the fact that I nearly died 10 years short of my pension ... this is about my best mate. We met 51 years ago.
He had to have a kidney transplant years ago and I spent years after that trying to persuade him to give up a job that he no longer enjoyed, and take early retirement on the grounds of ill health. He kept saying that he couldn't afford it, his pension would be too low etc. The last time I spoke to him about it was the weekend before Christmas and he said maybe it was time to consider taking that pension. He died 2 weeks later ...
Life is too short to be doing what you don't want to do if you have the option of doing what you do want to do - try and find a way of doing that!
Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
Go with the flow, things change.
Most important thing is what makes you both happy.
If you're financially secure that gives you more choice, hope you can work it out
Most important thing is what makes you both happy.
If you're financially secure that gives you more choice, hope you can work it out
There is no solution that will be please either party based on what was written and how it was written. A councillor or a close friend that is respected by both parties who is able arbitrate might be helpful. If there is no desire to bring in a 3rd party, would suggest trying to do the following
- take the trouble to find the fun in your job or make it fun
- plan the trip to work and back that will make it exciting and interesting
Levo-Lon
Guru
I came medically very close to poping off too in 03, and my mate died 2 yr ago at 49 which is my age now..
live for today...
From starting work at 17 I always said I want to be retired at 55 it didn't happen but I did manage it at 58, the income was halved so we adjusted our lifestyle to suit, the wife was supportive (also not working) I don't miss work at all and am using these years to keep as fit as I can, my father died at 69 my brother at 67 fortunately they had both retired early so had a few years before departing, people who enjoy their work I assume would do it for nothing, I always treated it as a necessity to pay bills & bring up the family, if you can afford to pack in a job you don't like pack it in and enjoy the leisure before you are too old to do so, there are plenty of people who cannot have your choice because of their financial situation, and plenty of jobless people who would appreciate a start somewhere, your not going to live forever so work on getting your wife on side you have 9 years to do it, as she nears her 50th her attitude may change, good luck.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Life is too short for working longer than you want to/have to. 9 years is a way away yet and, if you are not enamoured with your job and don't want to carry on working, then don't. It's very easy for someone to suggest that you carry on because they love their job but a touch unfair, I think.
If you can afford to retire, good on you. Go for it.
My husband only does 'permitted work' which brings in a tiny amount each week on top of my earnings but, as he's on dialysis as his transplanted kidney failed after 5 years of sterling work, it put a lot of things into perspective. Technically I could do with working harder and longer and earning more but, with one kidney and arthritis creeping up on me, I have decided that health and happiness comes before financial gain.
My Dad worked right up to his 65th birthday on the 11th November 1991 and dropped dead on the 28th December 1991. He could have packed up working at 55 (army pension kicked in properly) but Mum wanted him to carry on until 65 for a better private pension, which he enjoyed for 6 weeks. Sod that.
If you can afford to retire, good on you. Go for it.
My husband only does 'permitted work' which brings in a tiny amount each week on top of my earnings but, as he's on dialysis as his transplanted kidney failed after 5 years of sterling work, it put a lot of things into perspective. Technically I could do with working harder and longer and earning more but, with one kidney and arthritis creeping up on me, I have decided that health and happiness comes before financial gain.
My Dad worked right up to his 65th birthday on the 11th November 1991 and dropped dead on the 28th December 1991. He could have packed up working at 55 (army pension kicked in properly) but Mum wanted him to carry on until 65 for a better private pension, which he enjoyed for 6 weeks. Sod that.
Oldbloke
Guru
- Location
- Mayenne, France
You are now 51 and feel that after another 9 years working you'll be exhausted.
As the years go by this feeling will probably get worse so why wait to find out?
As the years go by this feeling will probably get worse so why wait to find out?
Yep, that's about the size of it. I suggested hat we both retire when I reach 60, but she says she enjoys her work too much
Why don't you suggest to her that you were busy working while she was still at school?
It's not your fault you're older than her.
Gravity Aided
Legendary Member
- Location
- Land of Lincoln
I intend to keep working, no pension outside US Social Security System and no real reason to stop working either. I don't know what I'd do with my time otherwise, besides rule Strava.
