Is there a book inside everyone?

[vernon]

A dog that can read.?

Dog writing has very little plot:

"A day in a dogs life"
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Whereas cats craft their prose with a lot more care and and depth

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of "allergies" I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

 

[ChrisV]

Ha ha that was very funny! And true

 

[numbnuts]

I started to write a book to give to my daughter when she was older on why our marriage broke up as my ex was telling every one that I walked out on her (which wasn't true).
After that was done I wrote about my life from day one to present with loads of photos of my childhood and parents, where I had lived and places I had visited. When I got to the age of fifty I was going to stop writing as I thought it would only make matters worse if my daughter saw what I had written so I stopped, but later I started again more as a diary than anything else and I'm still doing it to day some 13 years later.

 

[subaqua]

I have tom kerridges books inside me.......

 

[EltonFrog]

I've sort of written two books, well researched, compiled and edited really. They are of no interest to anyone outside my family and to not many of them at that.

They are my grandfather's WWII diaries. I self published them on a site called BLURB.

http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/2993245-the-start-of-a-big-adventure

http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/2993141-the-big-adventure-continues

 

[MontyVeda]

I've written loads of short stories, all of which are utter sh!te, but i enjoy the writing process so it keeps me happy... and there's something great about typing as fast as i can think. I started writing a local interest book (The Lune Valley by Bike), but that's been shelved for a few years now. I'd love to write a sci-fi novel, but i don't really have the brain to make it work. I think there's a book inside me, but getting it out is the hard part... possibly impossible.

 

[tyred]

I've always dabbled at short stories and have always aspired to a novel but am probably too disorganised/lazy/not motivated/too easily distracted to ever see a plot through to conclusion.

I've written a lot of poetry recently which seems to suit me as I can write in the moment so to speak and don't need to develop plots and characters. I am going to try entering a few poetry competitions next year to see how it goes.

The other thing is that I tend to write when I am feeling down so tend to write some very deep-thinking and sometimes very depressing stuff which wouldn't be to everyone's tastes but I guess if Eastenders ever advertise for a new script-writer - I'm their man as I can do depressing very well

 

[BrianEvesham]

@vernon and I have already written one

View attachment 75389

He needs to sack the proof reader if the cover is anything to go by

 

[Saluki]

My friend Danie has 3 books inside her so far. 2 out on the shelves and the 3rd one about to go out in to the wild and onto bookshop book shelves. I don't think that there is a book in me though. I don't have the imagination or the writing skills.

 

[vernon]

One day I'll write my mother's autobiography - The Dummies' Guide to Cloning.

It will be a bit repetitive.

 

[vernon]

It will be a bit repetitive.

Yep, my suspicions have been confirmed.

 

[vernon]

Vernon has made me spill my tea, yet again....

Good job I've got a copy of this

View attachment 75415

Is your butler on holiday?

 

[Archie_tect]

When she says 'favourite'.....

 

[Archie_tect]

There's probably a reason for that...

 

[vernon]

Be careful, Archie

View attachment 75417

......Vernon is on the case