Being alone mostly I have a lot of empathy for it being like another day, but not so much with the bah humbug bit anymore. I miss christmas, I have avoided it like the plague for five years, totally shutting it out from my life because there were just to many painfull memories. This year I have made a real effort to change how I allow myself to feel at this time of year. On Tuesday I was at a christmas pub quiz, prior to that a xmas dinner dance, a xmas party, a carol concert (I even got roped into joining the choir!) and tomorrow I am singing carols in a windmill. I went out and bought xmas sweets and gave then to strangers I met at these groups. I figure that even alone I am still allowed toi have a bit of fun at xmas, and make it a little different.
I will never have grandchildren, so I can choose enjoy xmas in my own way or dwell on what I used to have. I'm done dwelling, what I had was wonderful but it is gone. I choose to create a new wonderful somehow....and today that means chocolate xmas balls, and sitting here trying to figure out how best I can cook a full Christmas lunch for my dear old Dad.
I even put up a string of fairy lights and opened the cards people have sent me, which in the last five years I just couldnt bring myself to do.
Besides, I know my beautiful departed Mum would want me to do it like this.