vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
Based purely upon this review:
The 2014 Knockengorroch Festival is destined to be a great one.
@Cubist - get your name down for the York - Hull FNRttC if you know what's bad for you.
I can't really tell you much about this product from a personal point of view as it was a gift. My husband and I bought it for our great-nephew on the momentous occasion of his 18th birthday. (Who in their right mind buys a kid a bottle of 85% proof spirit the very moment he turns legal!?) It's probably a good job we don't have children of our own, but we are getting on a bit so perhaps we're losing our marbles somewhat to have thought it was a suitable gift. It seemed like a great idea at the time. I've never had a personal encounter with "The Green Fairy", but my husband in his youth had a lost evening when he and a friend over-indulged to the point where at one stage they somehow managed to "lose" each other and then spent several hours wandering aimlessly and searching fruitlessly for one another... (Except this happened in a two-bedroomed terraced house, not some sprawling cavernous gothic mansion). An unsettling night later (after some disturbing hallucinations), they eventually awoke the following afternoon with monumental hangovers only to then find a patch of the laminate flooring irreparably warped and bowed, the varnish dissolved on a large area of the coffee table & the remote control fried beyond help - just from where they'd left a small spillage overnight.
Nevertheless, the misgivings only began to settle in after we'd purchased the product (even though the product image is very accurate and it really does look like the radioactive effluvia of Shrek). Upon reminiscing over my husband's previous brain & liver-scrambling experiences and once again deciding perhaps it was to the benefit of the gene pool at large that we had chosen never to add to it, we felt that before gifting the item a small word of caution might be in order. As a result, we wrote the following missive and wrapped it up with the bottle:-
First of all "Happy Birthday!" We hope you have a fantastic day and that you enjoy your present, however we must first issue a small word of warning. Not because you're not responsible, or think you can't be trusted, but because this stuff is extremely potent and must be treated with respect - and more importantly we want you to reach your next birthday.
1. DO NOT drink this alone, neat, or in one go. You will probably die.
2. DO NOT blast it all up the wall in one session with your mates. You will probably all die.
3. DO NOT spill it on any of your Mum's furniture. See point 1 again. (If your Mum doesn't kill us first for buying you this).
If you take the time to mix it properly and enjoy it responsibly, (and more importantly manage to reach your next birthday intact so that your Mum doesn't have any reason to kill us), then we promise to buy you something more sensible for your next birthday - like a spear-gun.
All I can say is that the gift was very gratefully received (he LOVED it!), we have the kudos of being "Cool Great Auntie & Uncle" (let's face it - it probably ranks higher in the desirability stakes for an 18 year-old than vouchers), the great-nephew in question is still intact - and most importantly is well on his way to getting that spear-gun.
The 2014 Knockengorroch Festival is destined to be a great one.
@Cubist - get your name down for the York - Hull FNRttC if you know what's bad for you.
