Just a rallying post..support needed

[ttcycle]

Hey guys..

Having a really tough time at work which has been ongoing since April this year- don't really want to share the details as it's massively complex and personal. There's a formal grievance out at work and things are getting tougher.

Just need support and suggestions of how to go on with work and to get me through the days. It is that bad at the moment. Please don't dig for details. Just needing general kinda comments for a smile.

Thanks

 

[magnatom]

Oh ttcycle, that is horrible to hear.

I can't really offer any advice, but I can certainly offer my sympathies and best wishes.

 

[Crackle]

'tis horrible to hear, I agree.

Ignoring people and not acknowledging them is a good coping strategy, if you can't do that, keep it brisk, professional and focused. You just have to take on that mindset everyday, which is hard but if there's an end to it it's possible.

 

[ttcycle]

Thanks guys,

I'm trying to keep it focused and professional but manager is trying to control the situation which is making it impossible to do that. Very demoralising.

 

[Arch]

'tis horrible to hear, I agree.

Ignoring people and not acknowledging them is a good coping strategy, if you can't do that, keep it brisk, professional and focused. You just have to take on that mindset everyday, which is hard but if there's an end to it it's possible.

That's good advice. I've had personal grievances that were solved that way, much better than letting something fester.

Otherwise, all I can suggest is, as much a possible leave work at work and don't let it drag homelife down as well. I know that's hard, but do try...

 

[Arch]

Thanks guys,

I'm trying to keep it focused and professional but manager is trying to control the situation which is making it impossible to do that. Very demoralising.

Would you like us all to come round and put a bat up his/her nightdress or something?

 

[I am Spartacus]

Maybe try to re focus if you did not have that job and how your life would then have to change.

 

[ttcycle]

Otherwise, all I can suggest is, as much a possible leave work at work and don't let it drag homelife down as well. I know that's hard, but do try...

Thankfully I'm very good at that Arch. Don't think I would have lasted this long if it wasn't the case.

Thanks

 

[ttcycle]

And CC really does help as a healthy distraction!
Thank you all

 

[jonny jeez]

These things are so tricky, and as you say are often very personal.

If you are able to I would try to distance yourself from the issue (person/task/location). Maybe try and get out at lunchtime/after work with a few colleagues, not to bitch but just to check that you have their emotional support and that some people are on your side.

If its an issue that you cant discuss with them, then fall back on your friends…that’s their job!!…they should do a great job of rallying around and letting you know that you are supported

Personally I always find that confiding in family is harder than confiding in friends, as family tend to be ultra "pro-you" and never that objective. Friends should never be shy to be honest and open and to kick you up the arse if you need it.

Sounds to me like friends is the best way to go

Also, RANT on here as much as you like, we are all on your side!

Keep yer pecker up.

 

[Crackle]

Straight bat, especially if it's a grievance. Try and keep any conversations in the open as well and don't respond to any slights. Tough one. All that cycling will help the stress though, help clear your mind of it before and after work.

 

[Norm]

Difficult to offer relevant suggestions without more detail, so much of this might be completely wide of the mark.

Strategy #1 is to look for an exit. Constructive dismissal (if it's your boss) is an option if you have been there over 12 months, speak to a solicitor (I know a fantastic lady in Kingston if you need a referral) to talk it through but you'll be at the mercy of a crappy employment market at the moment.

Not so easy but follow through with the grievance procedure and try to get rid of the other party from your life. Give your employer the option to either transfer yourself or the other party or even to sack them.

Unless you can see an end point, a glimpse of the end of the tunnel, it's tough to get through the days. Self-hypnosis is massively ridiculed by the cynical but it works for me. Create a bit of mental space around yourself, you can sneak into the loo and do it.

Remember you are not alone. Firstly, you aren't the only person going through it (there are many who can offer support and advice) and secondly, you don't have to face whatever it is on your own. Tell someone, whether it's family, a close friend, a trusted colleague or someone random you meet in the street, it helps.

 

[Arch]

[
Personally I always find that confiding in family is harder than confiding in friends, as family tend to be ultra "pro-you" and never that objective. Friends should never be shy to be honest and open and to kick you up the arse if you need it.

That's very true, and I find it even easier to confide in people on here for example, than face to face with any friends or family...

 

[ttcycle]

Thanks Norm

I know I'm not alone, my colleague has been a massive support to me and my colleagues at the sister service are shocked at how things are turning out.

Due to the nature of my role - a risk assessment and any outcomes from that would be impossible to implement due to the nature of my job. I am looking to be redeployed but not sure that there are roles to be redeployed into. I am also looking for other work at the moment but am going to see this grievance through as I am not in the wrong with this and they need to look at the situation from a service level.

If this continues to get dragged on, there may be grounds to take this to employment tribunal. Especially some of the stuff my manager has been doing since I took out the grievance as it adds to the original case.

 

[magnatom]

Thanks Norm

I know I'm not alone, my colleague has been a massive support to me and my colleagues at the sister service are shocked at how things are turning out.

Due to the nature of my role - a risk assessment and any outcomes from that would be impossible to implement due to the nature of my job. I am looking to be redeployed but not sure that there are roles to be redeployed into. I am also looking for other work at the moment but am going to see this grievance through as I am not in the wrong with this and they need to look at the situation from a service level.

If this continues to get dragged on, there may be grounds to take this to employment tribunal. Especially some of the stuff my manager has been doing since I took out the grievance as it adds to the original case.

I'm sure you are doing it, but log everything, absolutely everything that is said or done by you or anyone that relates to the grievance. My sister went to tribunal over workplace bulling (she was the one being bulled) and these records made it difficult for her employer to wriggle out.