Just received an obscene phone call

[vernon]

At first I thought it was a wrong number dialled by someone who was drunk. When I caught the gist of what he was trying to say what he'd like to do with the females in the house I left the phone next to the radio in the kitchen and let him deal with Radio Four it took him a minute or two to realise what was going on.

Bit of a let down for him.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Even if he witheld his number your provider still has access to it, you can report it to the Police

Alan...

 

[Noodley]

Give him my number if he phones again...

 

[vernon]

Even if he witheld his number your provider still has access to it, you can report it to the Police

Alan...

To be honest it was a pi55 poor attempt at being offensive and a more entertaining but less coherent alternative to the unsolicited PPI/Microsoft Support/Personal Injury claim calls.

 

[slowmotion]

I was once told that the trick is to talk very quietly into your phone so that the caller is straining to hear you. Then you give a blast on a very loud whistle.

No idea if it works.

 

[vernon]

I was once told that the trick is to talk very quietly into your phone so that the caller is straining to hear you. Then you give a blast on a very loud whistle.

No idea if it works.

I'm fresh out of anti-obscene phone call Acme Thunderer whistles and I don't think the caller was willing to stay on the line long enough for me to buy one tomorrow to explore the efficacy of the method.

 

[vernon]

I would have thought that Vernon's introducing them to The Archers technique was punishment enough. That is what was on right?

Sadly not. It was the news.

 

[Dangermouse]

Sorry mate, wrong number again.............I kee getting my Harem's number mixed up

 

[rikki]

I was once told that the trick is to talk very quietly into your phone so that the caller is straining to hear you. Then you give a blast on a very loud whistle.

No idea if it works.

Pardon.

 

[Manonabike]

Give him my number if he phones again...

I didn't realise you enjoy dirty talk

 

[slowmotion]

Pardon.

Not bad rikki!

 

[swansonj]

Caller: "What colour are your knickers?"
Friend of mine: "Battleship grey"

Caller: "If you can guess what I'm holding in my hand, you can have it"
Another friend of mine: "If it only takes one hand to hold it, I'm not interested"

 

[biggs682]

you sure it wasnt santa asking for your address ?

 

[Aperitif]

You do attract trouble, Vern! "Having trouble getting your balls on fire? Just 'phone Vernon at Pyromaniacs Paradise - and put all your problems in his hands." (About time the video got another airing - it is The season of Cheer!)

 

[Silver Fox]

Many years ago my dad answered the phone to a young caller who said " Give us £50 or we kidnap your wife"

He replied " Tell you what, I'll give you £100 and you can have her"

They put the phone down.