Kitchen Kalamities

[EltonFrog]

My sister in law just messaged The Fragrant MrsP to tell her she and some children in her care made a cake, when licking the mixing spoon one of the kids said it didn’t taste very nice. While the cake was baking she noticed when clearing up that she used garlic butter in the mixture.

45 years ago, on my first day as a trainee chef, I was told to keep an eye on 48 profiteroles, take them out in 20 minutes the chef said. 6 hours later he asked me when I was going to take them out of the oven. They were like little charcoal bricks. Didn’t do that again.

Tell us about your culinary cock ups, your baking blunders and your frying faux-pas.

 

[sleuthey]

My mum basted the Christmas turkey half way through cooking thinking she had a 1L bottle of vegetable oil but it was in fact Lime Cordial.

My MIL is partially sited. I bought my wife a bundle of Daffodils in bud, the MIL then put them on the chopping board thinking they were Spring Onions

 

[Randomnerd]

Where do they put your mother-in-law, precisely?

 

[Drago]

Interesting title to the thread. Were you wearing a white gown and hood as you typed?

 

[sleuthey]

Where do they put your mother-in-law, precisely?

Typo corrected, couldn’t get strike through to work!

 

[CanucksTraveller]

When I was first learning to cook I didnt really know my weights and measures and I first learned at a German produce market that just because mushrooms are priced by the kilo, it doesn't mean you need to ask for a kilo. Oh and asking for a kilo of mushrooms gets you a very, very large amount indeed. I was eating my way through that carrier bag full for days.

Also about that time I attempted something out of the Good Housekeeping cookbook from about 1960, bequeathed to me by my Mum. Chicken Brazilian was the rather exotic name of the dish. I had no idea what I (or the recipe writer) did wrong, but it tasted of bitter, floury, chickeny marmalade. Disgusting.

 

[raleighnut]

I once put Mint into a Tuna Pasta instead of Basil, it was inedible (TBH they were in similar jars and I was sure it said 'Basil' when I picked it up )

 

[Bazzer]

Not one of mine, but Mrs B's.
We had been dating for about 5 months and I was going to stay at her student digs for a weekend. It would be the longest period we had spent time together alone and she decided to cook us a special meal for when I arrived on the Friday. - Chops with gravy and roast potatoes, which we would eat in front of the proper fire which heated her bed/sitting room.
Her cooking skills had yet to be honed and somehow the chops emerged from the oven appearing edible, but with the consistency of blocks of dried hardwood. They ended up on the fire with the now Mrs B mortified at her failure.
An evening at the Zetland Arms helped to salve her feelings at the time, but those chops still get an occasional mention by her.

 

[Beebo]

My wife got confused with dried chilli flakes and added a whole jar into a stir fry for 2.
the first mouthful was interesting

 

[Mrs M]

Hubby’s disaster from last nights tea!
He did the shopping and bought a beef joint from the local supermarket.
Gave him into trouble when I saw it
As expected it was tough and tasteless and went into the food recycling.
Mr M carved with the electric knife, I tried thinner slices with a very sharp carving knife but the knife just bounced off the tough, jelly like joint
We had sausages in the fridge so had a sausage roast with all the trimmings

 

[Mrs M]

My friend at work sent me a message yesterday with a wee pic of his chargrilled lunch, supposed to be a pizza and mozzarella sticks

 

[EltonFrog]

Hubby’s disaster from last nights tea!
He did the shopping and bought a beef joint from the local supermarket.
Gave him into trouble when I saw it
As expected it was tough and tasteless and went into the food recycling.
Mr M carved with the electric knife, I tried thinner slices with a very sharp carving knife but the knife just bounced off the tough, jelly like joint
We had sausages in the fridge so had a sausage roast with all the trimmings
View attachment 517387

You’re supposed to cook it first.

 

[Mrs M]

You’re supposed to cook it first.

 

[Globalti]

Every time Mrs Gti cooks bangers and mash the bangers come out burned black. Does that count?

When I was about 15 my Mum was away as well as sisters and brother leaving just me and my Dad in the house. Late in the afternoon I felt hungry and realised nothing was going to get cooked if I didn't do something so I took a joint out of the freezer. To defrost it I thought I'd put it in the warming drawer. About 30 minutes later I smelled burning plastic and went to investigate. The joint was still frozen solid but the polythene wrapper had melted and dribbled all down the meat. I was upset by my failure but my Dad seemed not to be bothered. Maybe he and Mum had had another row and his mind was on other things.

 

[Profpointy]

I once put Mint into a Tuna Pasta instead of Basil, it was inedible (TBH they were in similar jars and I was sure it said 'Basil' when I picked it up )

"Like" for the totally plausible account of change in labels after picking up jars. Similar things have happened to me