Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I seek your forgiveness!

[Vikeonabike]

I confess that I deliberately and with malice o' forthought drove my motor vehicle at a cyclist. My intention was not to hurt him but to scare him into stopping.
In my defence, he had failed to stop when asked and evaded many of my bretheren in thier own motor vehicles.
He had also assaulted an innocent member of the public by laying his hands upon thier person several times and stole not one, but two bottles of finest congac from Mr Sainsbury!
Needless to say he was not best pleased with my behaviour or the fact that he is currently staying at Her Majesteys Pleasure whining like a lady of ill repute who has not recieved her payment!
Ladies and Gentlemen this is my confession in true radio two style.
What say you!

 

[Hacienda71]

Was he on a full susser bso?

 

[screenman]

If you had hit him you would be inside with him. That said I cannot stand thieving scum, so well done in helping out others in our county would definitely have looked away.

 

[HLaB]

What say you!

Well done

 

[Bman]

I for one cant wait for *this* episode of Road Wars :P

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Did you keep the cognac for forensic testing?

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I thought you were a police officer on a bike?
Are you saying several police vehicles cars were involved in apprehending one brandy thief?
Bit of an overkill
You are forgiven only if you made sure the bike is ok!

 

[2Loose]

Although I agree in the ideal of 'innocent until proven guilty', the 'assaulted an innocent member of the public by laying his hands upon thier person several times and stole' part means that I gave away any fig I have may have given for them.

 

[DiddlyDodds]

Please please please dont subject us to another one ,, no fogivness here , just the thought of that wretched Radio "confessions" by the original Simon Bates has me wanting to put you in anti social prison

 

[Vikeonabike]

I thought you were a police officer on a bike?
Are you saying several police vehicles cars were involved in apprehending one brandy thief?
Bit of an overkill
You are forgiven only if you made sure the bike is ok!

My Point exactly. Unfortunately since we re-organised I have been off the bike. If I had have been on my bike it would have only taken one officer instead of 10!. Another re-organisation in January means I may be back onmy bike!

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Seems fair enough to me.

One minor point though, your malfeasant was no cyclist.

And I'll say this...











you can't spell cognac!

 

[Globalti]

It's malice aforethought, meaning that you've thought about it before now! (Several times, I bet!)

Did you also beat him about the person with a stout cudgel while cursing him and his kin, heaping scorn upon his mother and bemoaning his uncouth manner? Was this before an assembled throng following a hue and cry?

 

[Vikeonabike]

It's malice aforethought, meaning that you've thought about it before now! (Several times, I bet!)

Did you also beat him about the person with a stout cudgel while cursing him and his kin, heaping scorn upon his mother and bemoaning his uncouth manner? Was this before an assembled throng following a hue and cry?

Excellent, not only am I being judged (as requested) but getting an Englisc lesson too.
And yes I thought about it, but I might have got into trouble for that!
PS No body was actually hurt in this encounter.

 

[Arjimlad]

It was Simon Mayo I think... and you're forgiven...absolution. etc
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/simon-mayo/confessions/

 

[oldroadman]

My Point exactly. Unfortunately since we re-organised I have been off the bike. If I had have been on my bike it would have only taken one officer instead of 10!. Another re-organisation in January means I may be back onmy bike!

A device used by some management to give the impression of efficiency. Whereas it is simply activity which can fail to have any positive benefit, except to keep re-organisers busy.