Let's day dream a bit for fun :-)

[NormanD]

That every person must eat, at least once a week, one mayonnaise and one Marmite sandwich as a filling with any combination.

 

[col]

unemployed & prisoners to be made to do voluntary work

better encouragement given to help people be more eco friendly in what they do

and loads more i cant think of

So its not voluntary work then?

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Controversial ...

Adult Pavement Cyclists who think cars should stop for them at zebra crossings should be lawful quarry for motorists ?

I do that, but I dismount and then cross

 

[Doseone]

Terminators to roam the streets and taze anybody doing anti social behaviour, or littering.

Oh yeah, and I would bring back some standing areas to football grounds. And ban reality tv programmes where adults cry.

 

[Archie_tect]

Free chocolate for the over 50s.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Free chocolate for the over 50s.

and a free bike + free pet food to all

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'd make St George's day a bank holiday. There would be no leaving the country to avoid it - you can find some national pride or live somewhere else. This rule applies to English citzens of any race or colour.

FTFY

St George isn't ours, he's yours you Englanders!

It would be a requirement that children starting school were able to use the toilet independently, and were capable of sitting at the table and using a knife and fork to eat.

Good luck with that one when it comes to the special needs kids!!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Terminators to roam the streets and taze anybody doing anti social behaviour,

I'd possibly be if I'm drunk, on the way home from the pub

or littering.

Cannot agree more with that one. Also, spitting and putting your feet on the seats of public transport.

Oh yeah, and I would bring back some standing areas to football grounds.

Just be sensible about it and resist, nobody wants another Ibrox or Hillsborough.

 

[Manonabike]

Bike thieves will have their hands cut off.

 

[NormanD]

Bike thieves will have their hands cut off.

I've a better solution
Bike thieves will be clamped in stocks and the rear wheel will be rotated against the exposed skin of their backside, to the value of the bike I.E £1000 bike = 1000 rotations, with knobbly tyres fitted
All to be done in public

 

[Edwards80]

I've a better solution
Bike thieves will be clamped in stocks and the rear wheel will be rotated against the exposed skin of their backside, to the value of the bike I.E £1000 bike = 1000 rotations, with knobbly tyres fitted
All to be done in public

Why stop at knobblies? Winter studded/spiked tyres are sat dormant for most of the year

 

[Dora]

Is this not a bit rough on the non-English British?

No.
St Andrew's Day is a bank holiday in Scotland, St Patrick's day is a bank holiday in Ireland. My Apologies to the Welsh - I'll also make St David's day a bank holiday - but only in Wales.
As for those who are living in England, but hold citzenship of another country, they are of course, free to either go to their home countries to celebrate their own patron saint's day, or show some pride and respect for the country they have chosen to live in and join us in celebrating St George's day.

As for the Disabled kids in schools, they'll be OK, because all the teaching assistants who were watching chav kids shovel beans into their faces with their hands are now free to provide assistance to those who need it. You will be expected to prove your kid has a legitimate learning difficulty or physical disability; a bone idle parent is neither.

 

[martint235]

It would be a requirement that children starting school were able to use the toilet independently,

I think you're aiming a bit high with that one. Let's start with a requirement that adults starting work can use the toilet independently. We have signs at work saying "Before you leave please flush the toilet" and "Please leave the toilet in a clean condition for the next person". I don't understand when I started working with adults who don't understand the basics of the toilet.

Then again we have another toilet sign that says "Don't poo in this loo. Senior management frequently use this toilet throughout the day. If you need to poo, there are alternative toilets at x, y and z"

 

[Beebo]

Then again we have another toilet sign that says "Don't poo in this loo. Senior management frequently use this toilet throughout the day. If you need to poo, there are alternative toilets at x, y and z"

If we had a sign like that at work everyone would be saving up their daily movement just for that loo. Why should senior management get a nice clean loo?

 

[martint235]

If we had a sign like that at work everyone would be saving up their daily movement just for that loo. Why should senior management get a nice clean loo?

I have considered it. However although we don't have CCTV in the actual loo, our entire building is covered by it so there's a high chance they would know who the culprit was.

And as to why, because they have told people that that is how the world will be. Welcome to the all inclusive, "We're all in it together", 21st century civil service.