Lets sort things out

[Glow worm]

The problem is that I often take pretty much everything which is thrown at me on board. Some say that is good, some say bad, but I often think that lots of advice is better than no advice.

Try not to dwell on any harsh comments too much. As others have pointed out it's never easy getting exactly how some comments are intended to be taken on t'internet as you don't have the body language to go with it. It's still a pretty new form of communicating and I guess we are still finding our way.

The most important thing is that you come across as a thoroughly decent and likeable bloke who importantly is willing to listen to advice and take it on board. Not everyone is so willing to take constructive criticism so well.

I think this is generally a pretty friendly forum (you'll get the odd idiot everywhere) and I've picked up no end of useful stuff on here and have noticed I have changed my own riding style for the better as a result.

 

[Andrew_P]

Matthew, often a break can help get things into perspective. In all honesty if riding, filming the ride and then posting it on a public forum caused me as much personal stress as it appears to cause you I would seriously review what I am doing. I would either pack up cycling, pack up filming the cycling or stop posting about it. This is not a dig but really is it worth all the stress?

I really windy day, a pinch point where I am holding as much of primary as I dare on 40mph lead in road to a Motorway a Transit box van trying to squeeze past me and the ped island whilsts hammering his horn, had I recorded it, it would have recorded my swearing, me trying to catch up and me trying to tell him to pull over so I could further embarass myself when I offered to punched his lights out, which is frankly what I wanted to do. No film, no posting of the film, no one telling me I was an arse for my postion or my over reaction and l now almost forgotten, tomorrow it will be completely forgotten and I will not be sitting on a thread with 94 replies keep clicking refresh for a further kicking...

 

[Andrew_P]

Also you have to remember no one else is you, so in any incident like my one above no one will quite know how much I or you may have felt their life was threatened in a situation.

Also everyone has different riding styles, I have ridden with a good powerful cyclist who was cycling all along the gutter would I do it? No Was he wrong? No. As long as you are within the laws of the road you must find a riding style that suits you, not someone on a forums riding style adapted to you.

 

[gaz]

That's terribly insensitive to say to someone with autism, people with autism struggle to learn from their mistakes due to it breaking repetitive behaviour.

Not quite sure what autism has to do with this, did I miss something?

 

[Jezston]

In any forum there are 'problem' members (i.e., people with axes to grind against the world) who seem to want to patronize, put-down etc. It's best to block them as they tend to disappear/get banned for being idiots sooner rather than later.

The problem with internet communication is that as you lose that face to face level of communication, you also lose a level of empathy with the people you are talking to. It's not so much as others have said people are talking to each other as if they were their mates in the pub, they are talking to each other with a massive disassociation to that person actually being real, so don't really care about how what they say makes them feel - as to them they don't really count as a real person.

And if they do find out they are upset, they come out with the old excuses of 'it's just the internet' or whatever, reinforcing the notion they don't have to treat other people they encounter as human beings. Funnilly it's usually the same people who go absolutely apeshit when anyone does anything to slight them!

If you feel a reply to your thread has over stepped the mark (highly subjective) report it to the Mods and let them be the judge.

Sadly they don't often seem to care, and some are occasionally part of the problem - I don't know the full story as it wasn't public, but the mods didn't want to be labelled as such so they could carry on saying what they wanted without being seen as authority or whatever, but I've never been on a forum where that's worked. And while you can 'ignore' people, that doesn't stop them still causing disruption to new members - and if it turns out someone saying stuff that upsets you IS a mod - you can't ignore them.

 

[SportMonkey]

Not quite sure what autism has to do with this, did I miss something?

Matthew has said he has autism a couple of posts previous to yours.

 

[Scoosh]

If you feel a reply to your thread has over stepped the mark (highly subjective) report it to the Mods and let them be the judge.

Sadly they don't often seem to care, and some are occasionally part of the problem - I don't know the full story as it wasn't public, but the mods didn't want to be labelled as such so they could carry on saying what they wanted without being seen as authority or whatever, but I've never been on a forum where that's worked. And while you can 'ignore' people, that doesn't stop them still causing disruption to new members - and if it turns out someone saying stuff that upsets you IS a mod - you can't ignore them.

The Mods team and modus operandi was amended back in January.

We hope you have noticed the changes since then. We endeavour to Mod fairly and much, if not most, of the Modding is unseen by the CC membership - which is exactly as it should be.

We keep a careful eye on Reported Posts, so that is the number 1 method of drawing our attention to improper/offensive/indecent/unsuitable posts.

The Mods list is public (I've asked Shaun to make this more accessible too).

 

[hennbell]

Not quite sure what autism has to do with this, did I miss something?

Autism can effect the way a person interacts socially, but not always.

 

[Miquel In De Rain]

I don't think I said anything obnoxious to you on the other thread,or took the p155,but sorry if it seems that way.

 

[Nigeyy]

Funny how some things seem to go full circle.

I truly believe there are some people on here who, failing the fact they are opposite someone in the real world, feel it's OK from the relative anonymity of the internet to belittle or criticize needlessly and negatively.

Kind of like when some people get into a car -they do stuff (to cyclists!) that they'd never do if they were face to face with people.

Sadly, it's human nature. Granted there are times when comments may be taken the wrong way as text is notoriously difficult to gauge intent, but still, some of the stuff on here just goes past that point. My advice? No matter what internet forum you participate in, you have to be prepared to have a very thick skin, be prepared to receive criticism (or shall we say not so nice comments) no matter much in the right you feel you are, and only type what you would be prepared to say to a complete stranger face to face or your own mother.

 

[Matthew_T]

I don't think I said anything obnoxious to you on the other thread,or took the p155,but sorry if it seems that way.

I havent commented saying that you were obnoxious. If I have commented, then it was in an overall perpective of the view that I am getting of the type of people on here. I havent once stated a single person (well maybe one) whome I have picked out as a trouble maker. And it certainly isnt you.
Please dont feel obliged to apologise directly if you havent done anything. TBH I am happy with the concerning views I am getting on this particular thread. I just hope it doesnt turn into one of my others.

 

[locker]

I am starting to get tired of people on here being obnoxious and insulting towards me. I come on here to have a friendly chat about things which I and other people have an interest in. I do not intend to be having disputes with people critisizing my cycling style and how I have acted in situations.

I encourage polite critisizm and feedback from incidents as I often take these pointers on board as I want to improve my riding style, but there is a difference between feedback and rudeness. It is ruining my thoughts of CycleChat and ruining other peoples threads.

When I first came across this website, I was intrigued and took great delight in reading and commenting on other peoples posts. I learnt new things and skills which have helped me overcome problems which I have encountered. But when I started posting videos and asking for people views on the situation, I was bombarded with quiries and insults regards 'what I did wrong' and that 'I caused a problem'. I dont mind people pointing out my errors, but it gets obnoxious when people say that 'I keep causing problems' and 'I am confrontational'.

I would like to enjoy thiis site for what it is mean for 'CycleChat' or chatting about topics relating to cycling. I dont want to come on here and feel as if I am being bullied by people who dont know me or who I am and are just making presumptions based on what I say or do. It is starting to get old.

Matthew, I believe that bullying is something that will never go away but never the less your response is mature & to the point & I am pleased to see the latter replies being more apologetic towards you.
Getting to know someone on a faceless forum is very difficult if they do not stand out like Gaz, Micky & a few others, even then you do not really know the person behind the keyboard. You now are starting to stand out & I admire you for that, only take out of this forum what you feel is good for you & ignore what you feel is wrong, be yourself don`t change just get wiser.

 

[Crankarm]

Matthew, I don't know you from Adam. I am sure you are a nice bloke. I don't think I have commented on your posts neither replied to you directly. I stand corrected if I have.

I don't think the forum is any nastier than it always was. Once you have served your "apprenticeship" you will grow a little wiser as to how to deal with posts you find are hostile or antogonistic toward yourself.

I think the most useful thing I can say is don't take it so seriously which must be difficult for you if you feel you are being targetted, singled out or bullied by one or several individuals. These people post from the anonymity of their keyboards believing they are untraceable, however, people who have conducted really nasty bullying, the sort of stuff that the Mods would remove pretty quickly, I would hope, have also been prosecuted. AFAIK there has never been anything really nasty and frankly verging on persecution on CC in the short time I have been here. There are squabbles, people throwing their toys out of their panniers and flounces but nothing really nasty and I mean nasty. On the whole people are good natured if a little petty and spiteful some time. Those who have responded to this thread have on the whole been understanding and supportive toward you which should tell you that perhaps all is not as bad as you might think.

Keep on posting and take it less seriously would be my advice. Don't let the trolls grind you down. Trolls after all have to get some enjoyment in their miserable lives which unfortunately is making other people who are not trolls lives' miserable too. Trolls don't have much of a life this is why they are trolls. Do not feed trolls.

I think pretty much every one at some point has been on the recieving end of negative comments especially if you recount cycling experiences or post video of incidents of your ride. The trolls caused the Magnatom to leave the forum.

Joke : How do trolls breed?
Electrollysis

Keep posting and safe cycling,

Crankarm.

 

[Brandane]

I haven't posted on here for a while, and only look in occassionally. Reason being, I don't like the atmosphere of the site any more. The majority are fine, but there is a proportion of the membership who are arrogant, obnoxious, self important individuals. Fascist cyclist rottweillers I think I called them at one point, who live in a fantasy world where there is nothing on the road to bother them apart from other bikes.

Matthew, sorry to hear you aren't enjoying it around here any more, but would you keep going into a pub that you don't like? When I come across a forum that I like; I stay. If I don't like it, I leave. Simple. I only popped back in today to try and find a thread to link to a post on a motorbike forum where cyclists are getting flamed for taking their lane. I will try to find one with a balanced approach, rather than the usual "screw everyone else, we are cyclists" attitude. Once I find it, I'll close the door once more .

 

[Gary E]

Matthew, I've always lived by a simple rule:

I only allow myself to be upset by another persons opinion if I respect their opinion.

If I've known someone for a while and they've given good, sound advice then over time I come to trust their opinions and take notice when theirs differ from mine. So basically if one of my (admittedly few) real friends criticise me I take notice and I'm sometimes upset by it.

If anyone who falls outside of this group has a go I do what you should learn to do - take it with a pinch of salt.

By all means listen to what they have to say (that's how we learn new stuff and come to form our own opinions).

Take the good, constructive things they say on-board and become wiser for it. As for the snide comments, cheap shots and bigoted view points you often come across in life - smile and move on my friend