Living alone

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MarkF

Guru
Location
Yorkshire
Sazzaa, I said my depressed and lonely pal "couldn't move on, you responded with this
You mean "won't". People can do anything they want to do, if someone wants to move on then they will move on.

Of course he wants to move on but, reasons off the top of my head, he's desperately lonely, he's depressed, he's depressed because he's lonely, his social skills are shot, he's lost his social life, he's alienated good people, he drinks too much, he's obese, his hair loss affects his self esteem. All these things were triggered initially by his wife leaving him, it has had an enormous and negative psychological impact on him. Telling him he can't move on, simply because he won't, is not going to prove helpful.
 
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BigonaBianchi

BigonaBianchi

Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
:hugs:Make room... getting a bit crowded in here.
Hey BOAB, what's in the Kermit Green coloured Swiss Roll, it's not really frog flavoured...

I used to talk to the frogs in my garden pond, but they weren't very understanding, displaying low levels of empathy, consideration and plain old good manners...


...so I put them in a blender and turned them into swiss roll.:evil:;)
 
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Archie_tect

De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
Location
Northumberland
Sazzaa, I said my depressed and lonely pal "couldn't move on, you responded with this

Of course he wants to move on but, reasons off the top of my head, he's desperately lonely, he's depressed, he's depressed because he's lonely, his social skills are shot, he's lost his social life, he's alienated good people, he drinks too much, he's obese, his hair loss affects his self esteem. All these things were triggered initially by his wife leaving him, it has had an enormous and negative psychological impact on him. Telling him he can't move on, simply because he won't, is not going to prove helpful.
Getting people to recognise they only have one life can be tough... seeing himself as you have just described him may trigger the first response to come to terms with himself and recover... empathising doesn't necessarily help him recover his self-esteem.... mothers tend to be best at that but sadly you don't always have one around.
 

sazzaa

Guest
Sazzaa, I said my depressed and lonely pal "couldn't move on, you responded with this

Of course he wants to move on but, reasons off the top of my head, he's desperately lonely, he's depressed, he's depressed because he's lonely, his social skills are shot, he's lost his social life, he's alienated good people, he drinks too much, he's obese, his hair loss affects his self esteem. All these things were triggered initially by his wife leaving him, it has had an enormous and negative psychological impact on him. Telling him he can't move on, simply because he won't, is not going to prove helpful.

I'm gonna get abuse for this, but sometimes, just sometimes, people need their friends not to pander to them, and not to take the softly, softly approach... A lot of folk who come out of depression describe a low point, a rock bottom, which kickstarted them into getting help and initiating change. You'd be amazed at how many things can be seen as unhelpful which turn out to be the exact opposite.
 
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BigonaBianchi

BigonaBianchi

Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
I do that, another symptom of living alone :laugh:


yes..talking to yourself...I do that a lot...especially on the bike...out loud...and at the TV....

...and right now I'm saying 'unpleasant' things to the weather outside my window...

I did just have a nice chat with the lady at the bank though...she seemed to think it would be to my advantage to suffer a parking ticket so she could sit me down in front of the banks financial advisor...!:laugh:
 
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