Living alone

[hopless500]

yes..talking to yourself...I do that a lot...especially on the bike...out loud...and at the TV....

...and right now I'm saying 'unpleasant' things to the weather outside my window...

I did just have a nice chat with the lady at the bank though...she seemed to think it would be to my advantage to suffer a parking ticket so she could sit me down in front of the banks financial advisor...!

I talk to myself too. Far too often probably. But it's particularly effective at clearing a path through a supermarket

 

[s7ephanie]

I talk to myself too. Far too often probably. But it's particularly effective at clearing a path through a supermarket

yes..talking to yourself...I do that a lot...especially on the bike...out loud...and at the TV....

...and right now I'm saying 'unpleasant' things to the weather outside my window...

I did just have a nice chat with the lady at the bank though...she seemed to think it would be to my advantage to suffer a parking ticket so she could sit me down in front of the banks financial advisor...!

I realised today that i was SINGING (well sort of!!!) whilst out cycling and i talk to the dogs, they understand me better than people do LOL

 

[Archie_tect]

... it's particularly effective at clearing a path through a supermarket

Probably more to do with swinging the machete...

 

[BigonaBianchi]

I'm gonna get abuse for this, but sometimes, just sometimes, people need their friends not to pander to them, and not to take the softly, softly approach... A lot of folk who come out of depression describe a low point, a rock bottom, which kickstarted them into getting help and initiating change. You'd be amazed at how many things can be seen as unhelpful which turn out to be the exact opposite.

Maybe this should go over to th edepression thread but I added a like because i think there is some truth in this. BUT it is really important (and difficult) to judge the person and the situation properly. Someone in th every depths of depression who has their 'support' removed may do something dangerous including suicide. Sure it may seem the best thing to do from the viewpoint of a non sufferer, but that isnt the point, it is the view from the sufferer that matters really.

However there definatly are situations where the 'support' serves only to provide a 'comfort zone' in which to dwell on the issues instead of distracting away from them with new things in ones life. Like you say, 'sometimes' removing the 'softly softly' can be a caring thing to do no matter how uncaring it may seem.

I would simply advise caution and a thorough understanding of the person and their emotional state before following this route.

 

[sazzaa]

Maybe this should go over to th edepression thread but I added a like because i think there is some truth in this. BUT it is really important (and difficult) to judge the person and the situation properly. Someone in th every depths of depression who has their 'support' removed may do something dangerous including suicide. Sure it may seem the best thing to do from the viewpoint of a non sufferer, but that isnt the point, it is the view from the sufferer that matters really.

However there definatly are situations where the 'support' serves only to provide a 'comfort zone' in which to dwell on the issues instead of distracting away from them with new things in ones life. Like you say, 'sometimes' removing the 'softly softly' can be a caring thing to do no matter how uncaring it may seem.

I would simply advise caution and a thorough understanding of the person and their emotional state before following this route.

Agreed. It's a "sometimes" thing. In the right situation. Safety always comes first. I'm just making the point that enabling can be a damaging thing.

 

[Marshmallow_Fluff]

sadly this is true...as my expanding waistline will tell you...

it also allows one to unwrap the swiss roll rather than slice it. Also cutting it into strange shapes and patterns without being informed of my childlike tendancies...

May I add, that you can also unwrap the roll, scatter fresh black cherries (without the pit) and wrap it back again, thus transforming it into a Black Forest Swiss Roll...

Not that I've done it... But I could.


Oh, ok! I have!

Once...

Maybe twice.


Oh, alright, more than twice. It's divine!

 

[Matthew_T]

Sorry if I caused any offence by what I said. I did intend for it to be a joke but looking back at it now, it wasnt the funniest of things to put. Apologies.

 

[hopless500]

Probably more to do with swinging the machete...

Now that's an idea

 

[Hill Wimp]

Now that's an idea

 

[coffeejo]

I'm feeling the need to repeat myself ... It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it. And someone who reacts badly to something said isn't being over-sensitive or looking for a crutch. Words, just words, cause huge amounts of damage and something that isn't constructive can be dangerously destructive. As such, I don't believe that the blunt, sledgehammer approach is the correct one because it doesn't help the other person to rebuild their confidence, self-esteem and sense of worth. Instead, like any knock or blow, it hurts - and that pain feeds the inner critic, the negative voice, which in turn lead to increased feelings of hopelessness and despair.

 

[Archie_tect]

Just make sure you keep clear of aisle 7...

 

[hopless500]

Just make sure you keep clear of aisle 7...

??????

 

[Archie_tect]

Soft toys and bleach/cleaning products. [Aisle 7...]

 

[Pat "5mph"]

@ColinJ what you wrote about women playing the helpless card in a relationship is true, though in certain relationships it is essential to make the man feel "needed".
I am a very strong independent woman, but willingly had made myself incapable of all gardening, DIY, mechanical jobs around the home to please the man I loved, least be told for the umpteen time I don't trust anybody to take care of me - he was right, I don't, wish I could change that, too late now, was not too late then to give it a good try (take heed, @sazzaa )
We had a strong partnership with a definite "division of labor" in the home and in the business we were running together.
It suited me: truly I find the sight of a man of mine ironing his own shirts off putting - sorry about this traditional opinion - being him a chef he was doing all the cooking if this helps
After he died our flat and garden seemed to fall apart all at once, like it knew the man of the house wasn't there anymore to fix it.
I spent a lot of money and stressed myself immensely dealing with workmen unlikely to do the job, until I got a book about home repairs so I could at least understand what was needed to be done.
Now I've got more tools that B&Q
At least I was in charge of the financials, otherwise truly I would have been helpless.
Like @User13710 posted, independence skills are invaluable, you never know what's waiting for you round the corner in life!

 

[sazzaa]

I'm feeling the need to repeat myself ... It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it. And someone who reacts badly to something said isn't being over-sensitive or looking for a crutch. Words, just words, cause huge amounts of damage and something that isn't constructive can be dangerously destructive. As such, I don't believe that the blunt, sledgehammer approach is the correct one because it doesn't help the other person to rebuild their confidence, self-esteem and sense of worth. Instead, like any knock or blow, it hurts - and that pain feeds the inner critic, the negative voice, which in turn lead to increased feelings of hopelessness and despair.

Repeating yourself really won't change how I say things. I'm not exactly being abusive.