Living on your own.

[Pale Rider]

I always believed that I could sort my life out and overcome my problems but you reach a point where you realise it's not going to happen.

I accepted a long time ago I was never going to be prime minister or open the batting for England at Lords.

"He died as he lived - a non-entity."

 

[tyred]

If you think that you might enjoy it, why not suggest a forum ride? There must be some other CC members in Ireland who might be interested!

I started doing them after The Big Bust Up with my girlfriend. Soon after that my local cycling pal decided not to be quite so local any more - he moved to Spain... I got fed up of spending ALL of my time alone so I organised a ride. I think it was back on the old C+ forum before it got shut down and I came over here.

I do have people I occasionally cycle with but cannot see them due to inter-county travel restrictions at the moment.

Oddly enough, cycling is something I generally prefer to do alone. I can go as fast or slow as I like, ride short distance or long distance, detour or stop where I like. The majority of cyclists I encounter are obsessed with stats, kit and gadgets and I have no interest in any of that. It's a means to explore the countryside for me.

 

[tyred]

I accepted a long time ago I was never going to be prime minister or open the batting for England at Lords.

"He died as he lived - a non-entity."

I am definitely a non-entity!

 

[snorri]

I am definitely a non-entity!

Nonsense.
You may not be a mainstreamer, but are certainly not a nonentity. Your posts on this forum over the years suggest you have a variety of interests and had a number of achievements.
It sounds as if you are in a bit of a low at present but I feel certain an improvement in the weather will raise your spirits. it has been a long winter.

 

[numbnuts]

I think if you live on your own and enjoy your own company cycling seems to fit in well, with me fishing, kayaking, shooting, walking, beach, kite flying can all be done by yourself.
I have written a few post on here about my so called friends I've had and 99% have just used me, then dropped me when they have found someone better. I have neighbours that say hello, I have one that stabbed me in the back, I don't want any more friends.
It must be lovely to have a friend that you could trust completely, someone that you would tell your most inner thoughts too, knowing full well that conversation would go no further.
I've never had that so I don't quite know what's it like, if I have a problem I sort it out, sometimes with the toss of a coin, I kid you not, or best out of three if I'm really doubtful.
The time I have seen friendship to it's fullest is at a funeral when the church is packed and standing room only, that must be lovely to think all these people have come to pay their last respects to you, at mine, it will be me and the priest and I can't be too sure if he would show up as no one would notice if they just shoved me in the back door to be cremated.

 

[Mo1959]

I think if you live on your own and enjoy your own company cycling seems to fit in well, with me fishing, kayaking, shooting, walking, beach, kite flying can all be done by yourself.
I have written a few post on here about my so called friends I've had and 99% have just used me, then dropped me when they have found someone better. I have neighbours that say hello, I have one that stabbed me in the back, I don't want any more friends.
It must be lovely to have a friend that you could trust completely, someone that you would tell your most inner thoughts too, knowing full well that conversation would go no further.
I've never had that so I don't quite know what's it like, if I have a problem I sort it out, sometimes with the toss of a coin, I kid you not, or best out of three if I'm really doubtful.
The time I have seen friendship to it's fullest is at a funeral when the church is packed and standing room only, that must be lovely to think all these people have come to pay their last respects to you, at mine, it will be me and the priest and I can't be too sure if he would show up as no one would notice if they just shoved me in the back door to be cremated.

Sound similar to me. At the end of the day, if you are happy in your own little world, that’s all that matters.

 

[Pale Rider]

I can't be too sure if he would show up as no one would notice if they just shoved me in the back door to be cremated.

Quite a few people turned up at my mother's funeral and memorial service who I rather wish had paid her more attention when she was alive.

I get the impression no fuss 'non funerals' are increasingly popular.

I can see the attraction.

 

[vickster]

The husband of one of my best friends died at the weekend of a brain tumour aged 50...I can’t go to the funeral because of Covid restrictions (it’s in Jersey)

 

[Ian H]

An old friend died last year. The crematorium would only allow 20 mourners inside. Someone asked if there could be a traditional cyclists' wheel arch outside. I rang the crem and they agreed, so he had a proper send-off with 30 friends outside holding wheels up.

 

[yello]

I accepted a long time ago I was never going to be prime minister or open the batting for England at Lords.

"He died as he lived - a non-entity."

Yes, I get that. An acceptance of who you are and where you're at. I was first confronted by it when an old school friend I met some years after told me he was happy (and seemingly genuinely) working as a desk jockey at a govt dept - his words were something like 'I never expected any more than this' I was struck by that and it's stayed with me.

For myself, I am a natural born loner. Went through my late-teens/early 20s flat sharing - partly costs, partly thinking it was what you did. But as soon as I could afford to live alone, I went with it. I figured my rare desire for friends was more easily met by going out than my greater desire for my own company could be met by sharing living accommodation.

My wife (of 20 years) is similarly of quiet disposition - and, importantly, also didn't want kids (we got that one squared away very early on in our relationship!) We respect each other's need for space but, to my great surprise, rarely need it. We pretty much live in each other's back pockets. We're kind of alone together.

I've no idea how I'd go living alone again. I'd like to think OK but you never really know. Stats suggest I won't ever get to find out -'till death do us part.