Losing your temper.

[martint235]

I do it fairly often I'm afraid. Less than I used to, I even went to the extent of instigating Operation Kalm on myself as I was putting my bike down in front of a car at least once a week. It's very rare that a driver will engage with me though so I do it less now, there seems no point.

I think the worst I managed was tearing my achilles after chasing a car through Tottenham. That injury still plays up from time to time.

 

[double0jedi]

I genuinely fear that I will lose my temper, it scares the crap out of me. At the risk of sounding sorry for my self (and I'm not) I had an extremely abusive childhood and suffered a great deal of physical abuse. My way of dealing with that growing up was anger (and depression with side order of anxiety) the problem was when I lost my temper I wasn't always able to recognize when enough was enough. I am very sorry to say that through my temper I have harmed both myself and others.
I have learnt over the years to control it, which is a really good thing because the self loathing I feel when I let that one foul emotion get the better of me is horrible.

I watched a you tube video of Road rage incidents at work and it terrified me more than anything. I can handle a close pass, or anyone shouting out if a mistake is made, even if it was one that I made, we are all human after all. But if I were to be confronted the way some of the people were in road rage video I saw. I genuinely don't know how I would react. I am scared of what I may be capable of. I mean we all must have seen the one with the range rover and the guy in the shiney jacket shouting at the cyclist. I think if I were the cyclist it would have ended very very differently : (

I know this makes me sound like a deranged maniac, Im not, therapy has taught me a great deal and to most people I am a very meek and unassuming guy. I love cycling because I find it so relaxing ( knackering) but I have to work to maintain the peace and contain the rage, and no my name is not Bruce Banner.
I know in an hours time i will deeply regret posting this, its not a subject I often discuss but I suppose I can look on it as another step towards a seemingly elusive normality.

 

[dim]

I lived in South Africa and used to ride a motorbike for many years in Johannesburg

chaos there and you had to be sharp and alert at all times ....

I used to swear and curse at drivers, but now I'm older and more mellow .... so when I cycle here in Cambridge, and I have a 'close encounter', I just shake my head and look at he driver and raise my eyebrow

does not help to scream and shout .... lots of cnuts around here, especially foreign students on bikes and yobs in old cars with fat exhaust pipes

there was an incident here in Cambridge a few years ago, where a cyclist had an argument with a driver .... cyclist followed the driver to the next traffic light and lifted his bike and smashed it through the front windscreen

 

[david k]

If drivers are regularly tailgating you and attempting to undertake is there something wrong with your driving? Or maybe you just do many many more motorway miles than I do.


WRT to the question, I'll admit I am an absolute maniac with a hair trigger. I'm amazed I haven't had ten bags of sh** kicked out of me on a regular basis. Last week I went out of my way to threaten a guy who called me an effing cyclist c**t. One of these days I'll wise/grow up but it hasn't happened yet. I absolutely regret 9/10 cases where I lose my temper. The 1 in 10 case where I feel I would have been justified in punching someone I waste hours seething over. It's so completely and utterly self-destructive.

May be he leaves a reasonable gap, happens to me, I don't like to drive too close, I drive at the same speed as the car in front when on a motorway but often people jump in the gap between, I'd rather that happen than close up to stop it and drive too close

Btw , I don't lose my temper, Im happy just to carry on with my ride, at best I raise my hand off the bar palm up in a quizzical way but my heart rate doesn't go up, life's too short. I just think to myself they are an idiot and if they continue like that they will crash or have an altercation with someone and come off second best

It's been argued I am too laid back and should stand up for myself more, I have from time to time when much younger, prior to driving and cycling but don't like losing control so now don't go there, it got me on far too much trouble when young

 

[Chris S]

The roads were closed on Sunday for the Birmingham Marathon so I was riding on the pavement. As I passed a runner he shouted "Control your speed" at me in a really aggressive voice. In the past I'd have lost my temper and responded but I was just really pleased that I'd pissed-off an ars*hole.

Incidentally, I was going up a steep hill on my 3-speed. The bottom gear is 48 inches, I couldn't have been going that fast anyway.

 

[david k]

The roads were closed on Sunday for the Birmingham Marathon so I was riding on the pavement. As I passed a runner he shouted "Control your speed" at me in a really aggressive voice. In the past I'd have lost my temper and responded but I was just really pleased that I'd pissed-off an ars*hole.

Incidentally, I was going up a steep hill on my 3-speed. The bottom gear is 48 inches, I couldn't have been going that fast anyway.

He may have been offering friendly advice to help you pace your ride?

 

[Glow worm]

I never quite completely lose it but do get very pished off with some of the pitiful and dangerous driving.in fact I got annoyed just last night with some half-wit expecting me to mind read by refusing to indicate at a junction. It was an enormous black Range Rover about half a mile from Sandringham, so I did wonder afterwards if that's my knighthood gone!

 

[tyred]

I used to have a terrible temper, but have seemingly grown out of it.

I do remember being tailgated in a 30 by a fancy mercedes, flashing his lights and beeping his horn while I was doing 30. He then overtook me, while he over took me, I gave him the w@nker sign.

He pulled in front, slammed on, and this big, huge, 6ft 6 muscle house got out of his car very annoyed. From then on, I realised there's always somebody bigger, and the temper isn't worth the hassle, so I generally don't get too confrontational on the roads these days. I just mutter abuse to them in my head to make me feel better.

This. I had similar about a year ago. Riding along a wide suburban road, early on a Sunday morning with no traffic to be seen, I was about 3 feet out from the kerb when a Range Rover pulling a horsebox approached from behind and began to overtake leaving practically no space whatsoever despite the wide empty road and then cut in so sharp he cut the trailer across on top of me making me have to swerve. I shook my fist and the driver must have seen me in his mirror and slammed on the brakes and jumped out shouting he was going to kill me and tried to grab me as I cycled past. I was scared to stop, dived down an entrance into a housing estate in the hope of getting away or at least getting to where there might be other people and the driver was still trying to run after me shouting he was going to kill me.

I was a nervous wreck on the road for a while after that, either cycling or driving but ever since I try not to show anything as you don't know what kind of fruitcake you are dealing with.

 

[david k]

This. I had similar about a year ago. Riding along a wide suburban road, early on a Sunday morning with no traffic to be seen, I was about 3 feet out from the kerb when a Range Rover pulling a horsebox approached from behind and began to overtake leaving practically no space whatsoever despite the wide empty road and then cut in so sharp he cut the trailer across on top of me making me have to swerve. I shook my fist and the driver must have seen me in his mirror and slammed on the brakes and jumped out shouting he was going to kill me and tried to grab me as I cycled past. I was scared to stop, dived down an entrance into a housing estate in the hope of getting away or at least getting to where there might be other people and the driver was still trying to run after me shouting he was going to kill me.

I was a nervous wreck on the road for a while after that, either cycling or driving but ever since I try not to show anything as you don't know what kind of fruitcake you are dealing with.

People looking to massage their own ego, rest assured they will do it to someone someday who will flip back, karma

 

[Jerry Westerby]

I've never lost my temper, ever

 

[Sandra6]

If you revisit my early "tales of the commute" contributions you will see that I did indeed have a very short fuse, but I've mellowed much over the years. I still gesture and swear , but I don't chase down drivers for the confrontation anymore.
But - I did lose it quite a bit this morning on the way to work.
An older lady driver almost wiped me out on the rab, as she failed to look and then failed to stop when I was almost in front of her, causing an emergency brake that almost sent me over the bars, and a stream of expletives left my mouth!
I contemplated catching up to her at the lights and banging on the window, but decided to be a grown up and rode to work.
And just as I was crossing the car park, there she was again!! She pulled out right in front of me, completely ignoring a give way and my obvious presence.
She stopped the car, blocking my path, and as I wheeled round her she was getting out of the car.
I didn't let her get past "I'm sorry but" and let rip, I explained to her how roundabouts work, punctuating with the f word for effect and when she called me rude I told her to get back in her effing car before I effing slapped her.
I'm not proud of myself, but I'm sure the asda customers were entertained by it all.
When faced with a fight or flight situation, I'm not very good at running!

 

[Stinboy]

If you revisit my early "tales of the commute" contributions you will see that I did indeed have a very short fuse, but I've mellowed much over the years. I still gesture and swear , but I don't chase down drivers for the confrontation anymore.
But - I did lose it quite a bit this morning on the way to work.
An older lady driver almost wiped me out on the rab, as she failed to look and then failed to stop when I was almost in front of her, causing an emergency brake that almost sent me over the bars, and a stream of expletives left my mouth!
I contemplated catching up to her at the lights and banging on the window, but decided to be a grown up and rode to work.
And just as I was crossing the car park, there she was again!! She pulled out right in front of me, completely ignoring a give way and my obvious presence.
She stopped the car, blocking my path, and as I wheeled round her she was getting out of the car.
I didn't let her get past "I'm sorry but" and let rip, I explained to her how roundabouts work, punctuating with the f word for effect and when she called me rude I told her to get back in her effing car before I effing slapped her.
I'm not proud of myself, but I'm sure the asda customers were entertained by it all.
When faced with a fight or flight situation, I'm not very good at running!

You threatened to slap an old lady?

And you've mellowed over the years?

What did you used to do when someone upset you?

 

[Andy_R]

You threatened to slap an old lady?

And you've mellowed over the years?

What did you used to do when someone upset you?

Well, put it this way...her builder had a busy few years relaying the patio time and time again.....

 

[Sandra6]

You threatened to slap an old lady?

And you've mellowed over the years?

What did you used to do when someone upset you?

My previous, angrier self may not have given her the option of getting back in the car!!
It was a relapse, I'm mellow again now, I promise.

 

[400bhp]

Getting angry with motorists has no benefit for anyone. nobody learns anything and the animosity just goes deeper.

Getting angry is a normal human emotion and does often have benefits. Where it is negative is when the anger us expressed aggressively. Ive seen anger expressed assertively used as a positive many times.