Lunatic in Lancashire


I've just been out for my Sunday ride and encountered the most bizarre piece of road rage I've ever come across.

Most of us on here have probably suffered various forms of abuse on our bikes. In my time I thought I'd seen it all - but tday I came across the oddest man I have met.

Riding down the lanes of Lancashire I rode past a junction, from which a mini van (sort of escort van) pulled out after I'd passed. He then overtook me, a bit close but nothing you don't get all the time. I just shook my head and carried on enjoying what was proving to be a very pleasureable ride. About a mile on a guy was in the middle of the road and said something to me. Thinking he needed help I stopped. What follows is our conversation:
Him: Why were you shaking your head before?
Him: Was I too close?
Me: Well, ye
Him: No I wasn't
Me: Well you were about this (I gesture about a foot) close which is a bit ...
Him: No I wasn't
Me: Er..
HIm: What are you going to do about it, eh?
Me: Eff of and ride my bike
Him: Yeah, I thought you would.
Me: (shouting a bit angrily by now, as he had been during the whole encounter) I'm sorry but I didn't realise shaking my head was such an aggressive act
Him: Yeah well it is

I then rode off utterly bemused by the exchange. Normally I'd have left as soon as he'd started but he took me so off guard with his obsession with me shaking my head.
Other than that it was a grerat ride. great shakes... and a calm and orderly cyclist monnet. The driver just wasted the rest of the day recounting the moments of how wrong you were - what a loser. (Unless he's posting on bonj's favourite site the barryboys of course).
May your week roll by in similar unperturbed fashion, enjoying every revolution.

Oh! I should have mentioned, this week I 'came of age' in the commuting world. Outside Madame Tussauds, at red lights etc, I happened to wipe a dew drop from my nose - as you do. It was coldish and I had full finger gloves on. On it's journey down from my nose, my hand brushed a taxi wing mirror. I turned and mouthed 'sorry' to the driver that I was next to and he wound down the window and said "You'd be sorry if you had any f ing insurance - I'd have you!" and then "'s you lot who are responsible for all the f' ing scratches down the side of my cab..." (His cab by the way was covered in a large vinyl graphic - not a sign of a scratch).
I just said 'Oh really?' and we moved on, but he must be one bitter and twisted old twit to react like that. In fact, it was borderline offensive, given my age, the action and the accusation/generalisation.
My first taxi driver telling off - I've arrived!


Legendary Member
N Ireland
monnet said:
I then rode off utterly bemused by the exchange. Normally I'd have left as soon as he'd started but he took me so off guard with his obsession with me shaking my head.
Other than that it was a grerat ride.

About 18 months ago I got a similar reaction to a shake of my head. I was riding downhill at about 26mph when a guy pulled out of a side road in a tractor and blocked the road forcing me to do an emergency stop. I didn't say a word and simply shook my head. The driver asked "whats your problem?" and when I said he had forced me to do an emergency stop he just launched into a total tirade of foul language. There are some people who will leave the world a better place by nothing other than their leaving!!


Pete said:
He didn't bear a passing resemblance to John Cleese, did he?

Funny you should post that, Pete. That sketch crossed my mind as continued on my way.

girofan, you're right. I mean, even though it was comical I found that it dominated my thoughts for the rest of the ride, whereas before I'd been happily contemplating alsorts of things - most related to how much I enjoyed cycling, the scenery and which bits of winter kit I have to buy.


I remember a lady driving a porsche that blindsided me and thus threw me over the bonnet and onto the pavement. She literally scraped me off the pavement to have a go at me for...

...scratching her car!!!!!

If her husband wasn't there to effusively apologise to me, restrain his mental wife and generally sort things out, I'm sure there would have been violence.
Elephant and Castle, this morning, doing 270 degrees round the northern roundabout - in the right hand lane - car behind me, driver leans on horn. Filter left to the middle lane, he passes me on the right, I indicate that he's a self-gratification artist he LOSES IS COMPLETELEY. Cuts in front of me, leans out of the window, stands in the front seat, leaning out of the window, car still going forward, he's looking back at me, telling me I'm a c**t and how he's going to kill me. His eight year old son is in the passenger seat. I reach for the phone, (we're still in motion) snap his back plate, he roars off down the road for 50 metres, stops, I yell (this is a tad un-CTC Councillor-ish, but, hey) 'You dumb f**k, if you had a p***k you's be dangerous, HE REALLY LOSES IT AND STARTS PUNCHING THE INSIDE OF THE ROOF OF HIS CAR, I stop, he roars off. But, then again, this is the inner city, and I expect that he's simply one of those Financial Times readers what's been wound up to a pitch of hatred by the dreadful la Tomkins....


That is absolutely fantastic, Simon. I've never come across a reaction like that. I'd love to know what they say/ think about these incidents afterwards as I'm pretty sure they never say 'I over-reacted.' Still, it keeps us amused (once we get home alive).


Bird Saviour
when they have a go at you because they've seen you shake your head or signal w*nker to them just say:

"well, you were only looking in your mirror to see how i would react because you know you drove too close"
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