Lycra malfunction

[Cubist]

Lycra malfunction in cyclists is a potential minefield, but both my kids are competitive swimmers. Lycra enforced swimsuits have a nasty habit of rotting the elastic threads through the suit after a few hours in chlorine, and the cheaper ones go completely see-through, but only when wet. Cubester discovered this during a competitive-start training session, when his sister kindly pointed out that every time he bent over on the blocks he was showing off to the world. He disappeared into the changing rooms and returned with, of all things, a strategically placed swimming cap down the back of his jammers. By this time the whole club was in complete stitches, I was in tears, and the instructor was bent double with laughter. He eventually took pity on him and went to find a pair of trunks to lend him. Only trouble was they were a bit big, and good old Cubester didn't tie the waist cord tight enough, so on the next dive they ended up round his ankles. Call it parental concern if you like, but I was virtually unable to breathe for five minutes or so!

 

[ttcycle]

Handsome Joe- this thread made me laugh out loud- absolutely hilarious - fatty walnut

 

[Ben M]

I am so hard that I don't even wear shorts.

I just shave and moisturise to maximise aerodynamics.

 

[Shrimp_Stu]

I returned home last night looking forward to a nice meal with my in-laws.

Were you having meatballs for your dinner?

:?:

 

[stevie_b]

Ahhh, meat and 2 veg. Lovely!

 

[goo_mason]

Thanks all - I'm having trouble breathing now and I can barely see the screen for tears in my eyes

What a great thread.

 

[NormanD]

Oh the tears of laughter .... great posts guys

Norm

 

[Wheeledweenie]

You've just totally blown my cover at work, I never get hysterical giggles while editing medical features.

And, just to clarify, do men not wear anything under their lycra?!?!?!?!

I wear pants under mine (enormous Bridget Jones stylie). And thank God because I too have had crotch-rip issues!

 

[Speicher]

I am torn as to whether to post this here or on Racing.

Laurens Ten Dam had a serious Lycra failure, due to contact with slate or shingle on the Tour de France. If he had completely ripped his shorts, does the team car carry spare ones? I presume he would have to take one pair of shorts off, and put another on, but without the cameras on him, he could do that could he?

 

[goo_mason]

You've just totally blown my cover at work, I never get hysterical giggles while editing medical features.

And, just to clarify, do men not wear anything under their lycra?!?!?!?!

I wear pants under mine (enormous Bridget Jones stylie). And thank God because I too have had crotch-rip issues!

Why wear something that will get damp and chafe beneath clothing design to wick and not chafe ?!

 

[Wheeledweenie]

Why wear something that will get damp and chafe beneath clothing design to wick and not chafe ?!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

 

[Browser]

And, just to clarify, do men not wear anything under their lycra?!?!?!?!

I can assure you that this one does
As far as numbing of the 'areas' goes, I used to suffer but got a 'Gents Comfort' saddle from Halfrauds and don't get that now.
I do get 'winter shrinkage' in the colder months, is this common?

p.s. if you want scary lycra, join a rowing club

 

[Andy 71]

That's why I always carry a couple of safety pins in my backpack.

I shouldn't laugh, but it's the way you tell 'em!!!

 

[Wheeledweenie]

I've been gaily informed by a member of the cycling network that it's bad shorts etiquette to wear pants but my massive pants saved the day when the shorts split over my arse-crack last moth.

Maybe one day I'll have the courage.