May I be allowed a rant?

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SD1

Guest
I have been thinking for a while of becoming a befriender for old people. Basically you go round have chat with old folk who are on their own. As I live in a rural area they can be more lonely than someone in a city (I assume). A lot I assume will have a touch of dementia but no doubt they will be a lot more grateful than the OP parents AND I will get a couple of mugs of tea and biscuits with an excellent chance of a slice or two of cake. Why haven't I volunteered already?....bone idleness.
 

subaqua

What’s the point
Location
Leytonstone
its ANY club.

there are those that do and those that just arrive and don't think about all the backroom stuff.

I am one of those who do the organising and herding cats
 

summerdays

Cycling in the sun
Location
Bristol
I can understand your pain! I'm sometimes on the end of that sort of stuff where you ask them to do something and then they don't have time so can you sort it out? No I don't have time to do that for everyone! And if something subsequently occurred to their child you can bet I'd be the first to get the blame even if I have done part of their job for them! You feel sorry for the kids though and often try your best! But it can get you down!
 

Davidc

Guru
Location
Somerset UK
I empathise, but I left because of the brain dead who ran the district! When they decided to back a (rich and money donating) parent against my judgement ...

It has to be your judgement and decision, but if you go make sure they know why.
 

Arjimlad

Tights of Cydonia
Location
South Glos
I had deposits in this year, for 17 cubs to go on camp.

Booked local Scout Activity Centre campsite so dead easy to get to & fro. Asked for parent volunteers to stay for half-days or overnight to satisfy the ratios etc.

After a week I emailed round and said I would cancel unless we had enough cover & they've come forwards OK. Also had various Mums offer to come & help to cook the meals, offers of help on the Friday afternoon to put up the tents etc. So all good - but it did take a bit of persuasion/reality checking !

Cheddar to Taunton is no distance. There are always some who take the piss... memorably a few years ago a Mum arriving at pickup time, fat hubby sits waiting in his flash motor with the engine running whilst dolled up Mum demands we help her little darling pack his bag for him and hunt around for his missing socks ( and offering no help in striking camp although she can see other parents all mucking in). She did not get very far. Her son learnt a lot about self-respect & self-reliance & resilience. Sometimes it is those kids who learn the most or need it the most.

But then there are those who turn up with cakes and ale chocolates and thank you's and muck in and help and whose kids have a great time and build great memories and learn how to get along and new skills.
 

Trickedem

Guru
Location
Kent
It is sad when parents won't get involved. I worked as a volunteer at a youth club for several years and we had exactly the same thing with ungrateful parents. It may help If you can reflect on the fact that many of the children get so much out of these activities that they would never get from their feckless parents.
 

Mr Celine

Discordian
I've stopped answering the phone on Mrs Celine's rainbows night as it was getting too hard to remain polite.
One caller thought she shouldn't have to help out on the four weekly parent rota because she was a teacher and had lessons to prepare. "Yes, Mrs Celine is also a teacher, she does this every week without moaning, what's your point caller?"
 

classic33

Leg End Member
Its happening all over the country though. The thing that gets me is that the Scout Association seem willing to accept it, but unwilling to help when a group finds itself in this posistion. Why? They seem to recognise that getting people to be leaders or just volunteers in a group these days is next to impossible. But aren't willing to try & help.
Then when a group fails who does the blame get handed back to? The surviving leaders and those who caused it to fail by leaving.
 

perplexed

Guru
Location
Sheffield
I've left a couple of 'sports' clubs because of others' inherent idleness...

I and a handful of others were always there on time, setting the kit up etc... Week after week, the same faces would turn up at the last moment - use all the gear that we'd set up, and, it'll come as no surprise, were off like scalded cats at the end, offering no help to put stuff away.

It's not so much that I'm introverted, more than the fact I'm sick of carrying people. Other people's laziness is the reason I'm not much of a 'joiner' these days.
 

MontyVeda

a short-tempered ill-controlled small-minded troll
An old friend of mine was a scout leader... gowd he hated it.... he would have left but there was no one willing to fill his shoes... I've not seen him for a few years... and i bet he's still stuck in it.
 

Arjimlad

Tights of Cydonia
Location
South Glos
Its happening all over the country though. The thing that gets me is that the Scout Association seem willing to accept it, but unwilling to help when a group finds itself in this posistion. Why? They seem to recognise that getting people to be leaders or just volunteers in a group these days is next to impossible. But aren't willing to try & help.
Then when a group fails who does the blame get handed back to? The surviving leaders and those who caused it to fail by leaving.

I believe that the best and most effective way of getting boots on the ground by recruiting new leaders comes from ground level - getting parents involved and wider family members if possible. I don't think the Association is in a position to do this - it's up to us. I have an excellent Grandfather UA who works part-time and is a fantastic helper. He does a lot but not more than he can. The other UA similarly can't attend every meeting but does what he can too. We've also managed to recruit a new Beaver leader by local advertising - someone semi-retired who wanted to help out.

I only got involved after going on camp as a parent helper. It's hard for the association to parachute people in, I would guess - after all they are also reliant on volunteers. Our local Explorer group is helping out a struggling local group as it searches for new leaders by running evenings for the Scouts.
 

Wafer

Veteran
Cheddar to Taunton? Not even like that's a particularly long way!
I remember a County Jamboree many years ago (must've been late 90's) at Dunster. Was pretty wet when people were arriving but it got worse to the point that the first morning they decided to cancel the whole event and get everyone to go home again. I was one of the Ventures helping, was a bit annoying to have parents moaning at us, who were helping them in and out of the muddy field, because they couldn't park along the A39 (Police said so).

We had a great time otherwise, the sun ended up coming out and the organisers sorted us out a bbq in the evening for all the work....

Feel your pain though, stopped playing cricket last year as I felt the club I was playing for (and had been part of for over 20 years) was taking the piss. Worked my arse off doing things, we always had a fair bit of work to do before/after a game, getting the boundary rope out, getting the sight screens in place etc... and you could see the work shy lot who would try and hide or do as little as possible.
I was on the committee for a few years, took time off work to help with end of season pitch maintenance and was a pretty decent 2nd team player to boot.
I was getting pretty fed up with putting in so much effort while others couldn't be arsed anyway and then they decided to drop me down a team to make way for a youngster or 2 with bad attitudes when the exact opposite happened when I was their age (at which time us youngsters always made way for the senior players). So fed up of being the one to always be making way for other people, I stopped playing and bought a bike instead...
 

slowwww

Veteran
Location
Surrey
Shortly after a friend of mine retired in his early 40s, the chap in charge of the junior section at his golf club flagged his desire to give up the role. The outgoing leader was rather an authoritative, Captain Mainwaring type in his late 60s and the junior section was in decline.

My mate is a scratch golfer with a juvenile sense of humour and the kids loved him. Within weeks the numbers were on the increases and they had loads of matches against local clubs, where my mate would pay for and drive the minibus himself to take them there.

He then introduced golf mornings during school holidays, where kids could be dropped off at 9am and collected at 12.30pm, and he and the pro would provide free tuition, set up games, competitions etc. All of this was provided free of charge. Sadly this well intentioned additional facility was the start of the demise.

It started with parents asking if the time could be increased from 8am to 1.30pm or later. When he refused stating that he thought that 3.5 hours was plenty for the kids (and him!), he'd often get to the club at 8.45 only to find that the kids had been dumped there at 8am anyway.

Then they'd start demanding that refrigeration facilities be made available for Tarquin and Verity's packed lunch to be kept in as they 'wanted' to continue to practice on the driving range for a few hours after the club finished. Some of these kids were as young as 8.

For others, the collection time became elastic, and rather than the parents being there at 12.30pm he'd often find himself waiting with the kids for them to be collected until 1.30 or later.

Long story short, the penny finally dropped after a while that the parents were using him as an unpaid holiday camp. Various requests and entreaties to the parents to play fair were ignored, and after 3 years he'd had enough and gave up. Much of the feedback he got at this time was that he was being unfair to the kids as he'd built up their enjoyment of the game and expectation of what was available, only to dash it!

The sadness is he really misses the kids, and after changing leaders on an annual basis, the junior section is in decline once more.
 
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