Men are Barstewards!

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Speicher

Vice Admiral
Moderator
ComedyPilot said:
Do you want a spoon to stir that, Speicher? :biggrin:

Yes, :ohmy:
 
OP
OP
Wigsie

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
Mr Pig said:
Yes. It seems commitment is practiacally a dirty word these days. A friend of mine summed it up nicely a few years ago describing this as the me, me, me generation.

I do kind of agree with this Mr P....

Although in some cases the acceptability of divorce these days is positive, as two people struggling to make things work, arguing etc is not good for the kids and sometimes its best to go separate ways. Years ago when this was not accepted many children grew up in unhappy homes because divorce was not an option.
 

Mr Pig

New Member
Wigsie said:
Years ago when this was not accepted many children grew up in unhappy homes because divorce was not an option.

In some cases I think it is inevitable that two people split up but I think we've gone too far the other way. I've known people who've spilt up for relatively minor things and made no real attempt to fix things. Very few couples seem to take their vows seriously.
 

Lisa21

Mooching.............
Location
North Wales
My parents split up when I was little. The main thing I remember about that time of my life was the relief I felt that the shouting had stopped.

I think couples who stay together "for the kids" need to think very carefully if this is a good thing. It may work for some.
I stayed with my Dad. My mum had been having numerous affairs and wanted to live a single life.
Maybe this is all why I believe that marriage is a forever thing and once you make that commitment to someone then you work at it-nothing is ever solved by looking elsewhere.

I just hope my words dont come round to bite me on the ass someday:biggrin:
 

Norm

Guest
Lisa21 said:
Maybe this is all why I believe that marriage is a forever thing and once you make that commitment to someone then you work at it-nothing is ever solved by looking elsewhere.
For those sentiments, I would say "Marry Me, Lisa" were I not drowning in a sea of irony, what with me being already hitched. :angry:
 

Norm

Guest
I... um... well...

I have principles, you know.

Although, if you don't like those principles, I have others.

Oh, go on then. :angry:

My parents also split when I was young, I think I was 5. Turns out that my old man is completely unable to keep it tucked inside his trousers. :wacko:
 
OP
OP
Wigsie

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
So does this mean that swingers can take the moral high ground?

Because they tell each other when they are sleep with someone else and are therefore more honest than many 'normal' couples?
 

Lisa21

Mooching.............
Location
North Wales
Norm-I was about that age too, 5 or 6 I think. Too young to understand the reasons but so glad there was no more fighting.
I had no contact at all with my Mum from then on, untill she turned up at my Dads funeral some 20 years later. We half-heartedly kept some form of contact off and on for a few years but it was only 3 years ago that we began to get close and did a lot of talking and put some demons to rest.she passed away very suddenly last year and I was so glad we had become close for that short time.
Life really is too short.
 

Mr Pig

New Member
I think the problem is not that people refuse to commit to staying together. It is that hey refuse to commit to curtailing and sacrificing their personal agendas and urges in order that they will. If I had an affair I would not expect my wife to put up with it, but I have committed myself to not having one. Despite the fact that there are times in any relationship when one might feel like it!

These days people want everything but are not prepared to work for anything so end up with richly deserved nothing.
 
OP
OP
Wigsie

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
Mr Pig said:
I think the problem is not that people refuse to commit to staying together. It is that hey refuse to commit to curtailing and sacrificing their personal agendas and urges in order that they will. If I had an affair I would not expect my wife to put up with it, but I have committed myself to not having one. Despite the fact that there are times in any relationship when one might feel like it!

These days people want everything but are not prepared to work for anything so end up with richly deserved nothing.

Is there any proof that more people have affairs "these days" than in days of yore? or did they just hide it better or cover it up to avoid the shame?
 

Rhythm Thief

Legendary Member
Location
Ross on Wye
ComedyPilot said:
Is it me, or when you enter into a relationship with someone, don't you spend time with them, sleep with them and live with them? Activities aside, how does someone explain away being out all night on a regular basis - something you must do in a mirror-relationship with another person?

I could very easily have conducted an affair when I was spending four or five nights a week sleeping in the lorry. At least, I could have if I'd had the energy. And if I'd been an unfeeling bastard.
 

ComedyPilot

Secret Lemonade Drinker
Rhythm Thief said:
I could very easily have conducted an affair when I was spending four or five nights a week sleeping in the lorry. At least, I could have if I'd had the energy. And if I'd been an unfeeling bastard.

Good point, but how would somone explain the time away from the 'person in the truck'? ie when not at work?

After all, they sleep with them 'at work', so would be mildy curious to know their whereabouts out of work, no?
 
I think if you're really determined and completely amoral then its possible to conduct an affair without anyone finding out. However, with the levels of paranoia and the complexities of leading a double life involved, you'll come unstuck eventually.

Personally I couldn't do it. And this is despite having been severely betrayed by my partner a few years ago, our marriage nearly ending, and having a number of very attractive male friends! It would have been an option but even then the thought of physically being with someone else when still married was repulsive. I just don't think that there is any excuse for it, although it seems to have happened throughout history.
 
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