#mumbollocks

[tyred]

Watching TV makes you go blind.

 

[swee'pea99]

Never mix grape & grain

 

[andylaw79]

In a similar vein to Tyred - watching too much TV gives you square eyes.

 

[Schmilliemoo]

If you swallow chewing gum it gets wrapped around your heart... Wtf!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Eating the pip of an orange will make an orange tree grow inside you (other fruits available too).

I always wondered how long it would take before it came bursting out.

 

[Schmilliemoo]

Hehe my OH ate the pip of an orange last night which is what set me off on this.

And if you pick your nose your head will cave in.

 

[PeteXXX]

If you stifle a sneeze, it'll come out as a fart...

 

[tyred]

A man dressed in a red suit will park a sleigh pulled by reindeer on the roof and climb down an 8" diameter chimney flue and leave presents in an old sock, eat the slice of cake and drink the beer I had left for him and then continue on his merry way to all the other houses in the world, all in one night

If nothing else, he should be done for drink driving.

 

[Steve Malkin]

A man dressed in a red suit will park a sleigh pulled by reindeer on the roof and climb down an 8" diameter chimney flue and leave presents in an old sock, eat the slice of cake and drink the beer I had left for him and then continue on his merry way to all the other houses in the world, all in one night

If nothing else, he should be done for drink driving.

 

[Archie_tect]

Eating grape pips can give you appendicitis... mind, she was right.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Hehe my OH ate the pip of an orange last night which is what set me off on this

What I always wondered was that, if these things were real, then why did you never see or hear of anyone that it had happened too, I mean, surely you'd see or hear something about it on the telly and all the medical/rehab treatments people would need to get, not to mention people dying!
At the very least, if these things happened to unwary kids, then surely the teachers at school would have known of at least one kid who was a victim of something.... So why weren't they making more of an issue of it? We got Assemblies on the dangers of fireworks and so on, so why not on the dangers of eating fruit seeds, or watching too much telly, or picking one's nose (see below), or making a face in changeable wind conditions, etc etc?? It just never made any sense to me!

On that evidence, I concluded that it all must have been a load of crud, meant to scare us.

And if you pick your nose your head will cave in.

I've never heard that one before, brilliant!!

A man dressed in a red suit will park a sleigh pulled by reindeer on the roof and climb down an 8" diameter chimney flue and leave presents in an old sock, eat the slice of cake and drink the beer I had left for him and then continue on his merry way to all the other houses in the world, all in one night

If nothing else, he should be done for drink driving.

Santa I could grasp the concept of. It was that God person I never got though (mainly because it was never really explained properly, you were just meant to *know*).

 

[andylaw79]

Stop picking that scab, your "insert limb here" will drop off.

 

[Risex4]

Not one I "believe" per se, but mum subscribes to 'If you wash on New Years Day, you'll wash a member of the family away'. She's not a superstitious lady on the whole, and I certainly don't normally entertain that kind of black cat/ladders mumbo jumbo, but she was so adamant with this growing up that its kind of stuck with me ever since.

I once got detention when a teaching assistant told my friend "if you keep picking your nose, your head will cave in". My reply was "well if you your head is full of snot, its not a surprise you're stuck working a job like this". I was just discovering 'wit', but still needed to work on boundaries...

 

[dan_bo]

'If you do that again i'll give ya a clump'



Ah.

 

[TheDoctor]

"Don't eat all the apples - they don't grow on trees you know!"
Cheers Mum!