Thanks folks - some great points raised as always.
The problem you/ she may have is she has surgery and gets a new hip will she do the rehab. There is quite a lot of studies saying that older people who hip/ knee replacement surgery are no more active or mobile than prior to the surgery.
This is a good point as she's crap at being proactive in such situations. That said she's already had one hip done (quite a few years ago) and that's panned out pretty well, so maybe she was more driven once something had actually been done to start the process rolling.
The phrase 'Chocolate teapot' comes to mind, as someone relatively young (64) who is 'riddled with' Arthritis the surgical option is more painful and doesn't really help......................decent pain relief is a better option...................Cannabis based as opposed to Opiates ?
Different avenues of pain relief are a good point - she's already pretty well dosed up on codeine so I think there are limited avenues in that regard and as you touch on, I'm not a huge fan of opiates / opioids either. I've never really been sure about the pain relief properties of cannabis, but it's certainly something else to try..
Ultimately while some pain relief would be very welcome it would only be managing the symptoms rather than the root cause.
I'm sorry to hear this
@wafter
Not easy for you or your mother.
I'd suggest that you offer to attend an appointment with your mother; if she agrees write to the GP practice saying your mother is in pain and distressed at the lack of help from them. She is no great age and you would expect some intervention from them to enable her to continue in independent living
That nicely covers possible ageism and makes clear your expectations.
If they don't respond well refer them to the NHS charter; let them know it's easier to work with you both.
Thanks!
That's certainly a thought although I think we both pretty much consider this GP a dead loss so I'm not sure how much value there is in further pursuing this avenue.
By the time I was lucky enough to move to a different surgery I'd pretty much given up engaging with them on any level due to how utterly p*ss-poor their attitude and standard of service had become.
At 76 you may be on to a battle, unless she was active. MIL wouldn't try stuff. Losing weight is easy if you don't put it in the cake hole, but it's not easy is it.
Unless she was fit and active and mobile, its a massive surgery. Got this to look forward with my smashed left hip but I'm 20 years younger and actively keeping the weight down and mean to be as active as possible before the real pain starts. Been told it's going to be needed.
Surgery could make things worse for her, ie a killer.
Thanks - so far the weight loss angle has only come from me as it seems reasonable to assume that reducing the load on the joints would be sensible.
She's not been enormously "active" for years, however she could at least get around the house / into the garden to the shops in the car, now she struggles with any of these things.
I'd not considerd the potential risks of surgery; however that would surely be something to be weighed up and discussed if it was the GP's reason for refusal.
From the sound of your GP you might be better off looking at other GPs
or writing a formal letter complaining about the lack of treatment for something that is the specific cause of making her house/bed bound
Another option is to look at Social Services - or private - ways to make her able to get about more easily
such as a mobility scooter or something
and aids around the house to allow her to move more easily
at least she would be able to get out
Indeed; the problem is that it seems most GPs in the area are crap.
Having been involved in care of the elderly earlier in her life, my mum has a reasonable idea of the ropes regarding care and contacted social services herself; which turned out to be a dead-end.
Unfortunately there are a lot of issues relating to the house that are non-trivial to solve; the two biggest ones being the stairs and lack of parking outside. I've suggested moving but she's understandably reluctant given she's live there for 50-odd years..
76 is no age to expect being an invalid just because of one's age.
I have a 75 yo colleague who is just coming back to work after a knee replacement - cleaning job, so a bit heavy on the joints.
If after the appropriate investigations a hip replacement is advised, she should get it, she must insist on an ortho consult.
However, it also needs to be made clear to her
if weight loss is essential in order to have the op and eventually be pain free.
If after hearing the consultant's opinions she still insists on carrying on with her current lifestyle, you must be firm and tell her you don't want to hear complains about pain etc.
Could well be that the ortho says there's nothing to be done, then the only thing you could do to support your mum is to do like
@ebikeerwidnes suggest above.
All the best!
Thanks - appreciate your thoughts!
I'm not sure about how critical her weight is; that's currently only my position rather than a stipulation of any healthcare providers (not that anyone is providing anything other than discouragement currently).
The complaining doesn't concern me; seeing her in her current state does. She can certainly be irrational and bloody minded in exercising her agency to do nothing to halt her own decline; although the sad irony of this situation is that she has so far really been trying which I think only serves to drive home further how miserable the situation is for her.
Why aren't they talking about surgery as an option?
Family friend is a similar age and has had both hips replaced in the last 18 months.
My Nan had hers done in her mid 80's and made a great recovery.
Yes, it is a big op, but many people in their later years have it done with great success.
I don't know... there may be many legitimate reasons although nothing has been shared with us beyond simply "no, deal with it" in essence.
Glad to hear you've had a few success stories your end anyway; this brings some comfort about the possibility of going private as I fear the NHS is a lost cause in this case.
Whetheror not it is likely to be successful is something for a consultant to decided - the GP should refer her up the chain
Some GPs have far too high an opinion of themselves and seem to forget that the patient is the centre of things
To be fair I probably didn't make clear that I think she's seen a consultant and the doctor is supposedly relaying their position. However the attitude and lack of explanation seem suspicious to me.
Your last sentence is unfortunately consistent with a lot of my own experiences.
It's almost as if the NHS are trying to find reasons NOT to spend money on surgery for the elderly even though it would improve their quality of life immeasurably. My (84 year old) stepfather has been in a similar situation recently and was almost immobilised with an arthritic hip but just kept getting sent for more assessments, tests, physio, etc rather than being listed for the one thing that was really needed - a hip replacement.
In the end it got so bad that he did the only thing possible and went private earlier this year - three weeks from initial consultation to surgery and it's made all the difference to him (and my mum) as he's back driving and they're both getting out and about rather than relying on me or my sister. Shouldn't be long and he'll be back at the gym!
Well, of course they are.. and depending on who they're prioritising instead (other than the profits of privatised sub-contractors) I can understand this reasoning.
It doesn't make it any more of an easy pill to swallow and the lack of explanation is inexcusable IMO.
That's great news about your stepfather and again this brings some hope - thanks
It does certainly sound that way, which is rather sad if so. I understand there are huge financial pressures, but if there really is a deliberate effort to try and deny older people surgery that would improve their lives dramatically as a means of saving money, this is hugely unethical IMO.
I don't know; in an ideal world I agree but then if it's a case of this or teenage cancer care for example, I can understand the argument.
From what you have posted your mother should be seen by a suitably qualified specialist following referral by her GP.
A private consultation could well be your best option if this needs to be done quickly. I'm huge NHS supporter, and would argue against several points made in here, but for something like joint replacement I would "go private" without hesitation.
Based on your post I suspect the bigger problem could prove to be your mother's attitude. If she's not able/prepared to accept change, some challenges or adapt her chosen lifestyle for a positive long-term outcome making progress will be difficult. There are no magic bullets.
My personal experience of full recovery from heart attack, bleed on the brain and major RTC have each been about not being beaten. It rarely occurred to me that I wouldn't recover - even following a prognosis given to my wife of "first we see if he wakes up, then can he wriggle his toes." At least 50% of recovery is in the patient's head.
Thanks; she had X-rays which I think were assessed by a specialist, their findings then apparently relayed through the GP.
While her attitude isn't great I don't think she's got close enough to any resolution for this to be a practical problem (yet?). Plus, while she's generally apathetic and defeatist this latest development has elicited more determination on her part; which is what make the lack of anyone's appetite to help all the more crushing.
That'll go down well.
I recently saw a woman complaining that her 85 year old father had just been sent a letter cancelling (not postponing) his cancer operation. When asked why, they wouldn't answer.
Nice - what a disgusting level of contempt to show towards anyone in not even having the common decently to provide a reason.
Unsurprisingly there's not been much in the way of development.. although she does seem to be recovering from the initial news and I think the next step will be to push towards a private assessment.
Thanks to all who've contributed - while it's been a bit overwhelming it's very much appreciated!
