My Sofa

[palinurus]

Moved two weeks ago, hired two blokes and a van. First thing they tried to move was my sofa.

Wouldn't go down the stairs. Since I got my sofa the Landlord had a new flat put in downstairs, put a kink in the staircase to accommodate.

Sofa came back upstairs, rest of stuff went in van.

Asked landlord if he wanted a sofa. He didn't.

De-upholstered part of sofa and Ms. P went at the front cross-member with an electric jig-saw. Left it in flat and arranged men and van to return.

Arrived at flat and couldn't find the sawn-off bit of my sofa. The landlord has got rid of it! I call Ms. P and rant, she calls letting agency and rants.

Men pick up sofa and sawn-off bit falls out.

Sofa still won't go down the stairs. Twenty minutes of coaxing, and gouging the walls some, and it does. Then it gets stuck in the doorway on the next floor down. Ten more minutes, sound of splitting wood from sofa.

Then it's in the van, 5 minutes to the new flat. The new flat's got a pretty narrow doorway too but it goes straight in.

A bit of epoxy, 30 minutes with the staplegun I bought this morning, and a few nails- whatever I fix has to have a few nails banged in it- and I have my sofa back. It doesn't look too bad considering I'm the worst kind of bodger. I haven't sat on it yet though, it takes 24 hours for the epoxy to cure properly.

 

[palinurus]

Tomorrow I'm going to sit on my sofa and drink beer.

 

[PorkyPies]

Tomorrow I'm going to sit on my sofa and drink beer.

I think you'll find that you'll be sat on your ass

 

[Angelfishsolo]

Moved two weeks ago, hired two blokes and a van. First thing they tried to move was my sofa.

Wouldn't go down the stairs. Since I got my sofa the Landlord had a new flat put in downstairs, put a kink in the staircase to accommodate.

Sofa came back upstairs, rest of stuff went in van.

Asked landlord if he wanted a sofa. He didn't.

De-upholstered part of sofa and Ms. P went at the front cross-member with an electric jig-saw. Left it in flat and arranged men and van to return.

Arrived at flat and couldn't find the sawn-off bit of my sofa. The landlord has got rid of it! I call Ms. P and rant, she calls letting agency and rants.

Men pick up sofa and sawn-off bit falls out.

Sofa still won't go down the stairs. Twenty minutes of coaxing, and gouging the walls some, and it does. Then it gets stuck in the doorway on the next floor down. Ten more minutes, sound of splitting wood from sofa.

Then it's in the van, 5 minutes to the new flat. The new flat's got a pretty narrow doorway too but it goes straight in.

A bit of epoxy, 30 minutes with the staplegun I bought this morning, and a few nails- whatever I fix has to have a few nails banged in it- and I have my sofa back. It doesn't look too bad considering I'm the worst kind of bodger. I haven't sat on it yet though, it takes 24 hours for the epoxy to cure properly.

OMG what a nightmare

 

[Fnaar]

Sofa so good... (oh come on, somebody had to)

 

[Andy_R]

somewhere in this post there should have been two men with a large pane of glass and a bloke with a plank of wood.

 

[asterix]

Douglas Adams had a thing about sofas.

For example, one plot thread involves a sofa which is irreversibly stuck on the staircase to Richard's apartment; according to his simulations, not only is it impossible to remove it, but there is no way for it to have got into that position in the first place. In a similar incident that occurred while Douglas Adams attended St John's College of Cambridge University, furniture was placed in the rooms overlooking the river in Third Court while the staircases were being refurbished. When the staircases were completed, it was discovered that the sofas could no longer be removed from the rooms, and the sofas remained in those rooms for several decades.

IIRC the irreversibly stuck sofa was demolished by the removal men and never reassembled. Which is a shame.

Good luck with the first sitting.

 

[ianrauk]

How many copper coins did ya find?

 

[snorri]

A bit of epoxy, 30 minutes with the staplegun I bought this morning, and a few nails- whatever I fix has to have a few nails banged in it- and I have my sofa back. It doesn't look too bad considering I'm the worst kind of bodger. I haven't sat on it yet though, it takes 24 hours for the epoxy to cure properly.

Please don't add photos.

 

[palinurus]

How many copper coins did ya find?

Oddly none. I found a guitar pick and a chopstick, that's all.

 

[Globalti]

You didn't find any Asian Longhorn Beetle larvae chewing away at the woodwork? We did, they make a terrible noise.

 

[ASC1951]

I think you'll find that you'll be sat on your ass

In Palookaville, maybe, but not in Watford. He'll be sat on his arse, as Englishmen have been for a thousand years.

 

[colly]

I've done that several times for people who are moving; cut a sofa in half and had to re-assemble it in-situ. Some designs make it impractical but if it can be done it's not too difficult.

The trick is, as you might be finding out ,is to make sure it is strong enough where the frame is re-joined.

 

[Kleban]

Moved two weeks ago, hired two blokes and a van. First thing they tried to move was my sofa.

Wouldn't go down the stairs. Since I got my sofa the Landlord had a new flat put in downstairs, put a kink in the staircase to accommodate.

Sofa came back upstairs, rest of stuff went in van.

Asked landlord if he wanted a sofa. He didn't.

De-upholstered part of sofa and Ms. P went at the front cross-member with an electric jig-saw. Left it in flat and arranged men and van to return.

Arrived at flat and couldn't find the sawn-off bit of my sofa. The landlord has got rid of it! I call Ms. P and rant, she calls letting agency and rants.

Men pick up sofa and sawn-off bit falls out.

Sofa still won't go down the stairs. Twenty minutes of coaxing, and gouging the walls some, and it does. Then it gets stuck in the doorway on the next floor down. Ten more minutes, sound of splitting wood from sofa.

Then it's in the van, 5 minutes to the new flat. The new flat's got a pretty narrow doorway too but it goes straight in.

A bit of epoxy, 30 minutes with the staplegun I bought this morning, and a few nails- whatever I fix has to have a few nails banged in it- and I have my sofa back. It doesn't look too bad considering I'm the worst kind of bodger. I haven't sat on it yet though, it takes 24 hours for the epoxy to cure properly.

 

[palinurus]

In Palookaville, maybe, but not in Watford. He'll be sat on his arse, as Englishmen have been for a thousand years.

Quite right.