Never forgetting

[numbnuts]

Same sort of story, I saw my daughter after 11 years (she was 3 at the time of divorce), I tried hard to love her, but there was nothing there, she was just another girl in the street so we stopped seeing each other.....I don’t have a daughter now

ps I hope you have better luck, all the best for the future

 

[bauldbairn]

Another vote for tracking her down. Just do it.

+1, This is so sad!

 

[Paulus]

It's truly low how some people can use their kids like this. The daughter is probably wondering exactly the same thing...

Exactly, Postie, the only you will find out is to look for her. I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[postman]

You lot are brilliant .So kind and understanding .It was a problem for a long time ,then i had to let it go .It was better not to cause problems .
I know where they are (i think ).
Living with their Granny .I was doing a School Cycling day .Helping out with Leeds City cycling chappies and chapesses .And we used the ex m i l's street .I saw a quick glimpse of one of them then .
I did sneak a look on FB this afternoon,think i got the right page .
And wow she is beautiful ,so i did something right .

Anyway not so painful and great memories .

So chins up everybody, iv'e got a few .There are people worse off than me .

and i have a very fast Spesh Secteur Elite .Whoa !!!!!

 

[soulful dog]

However it ends up turning out, I agree with everyone else, it's worth trying to track her down, even if you did do the right thing in stepping back so to not cause problems. Perhaps you could write to her?

 

[ColinJ]

Nice, Maggot, nice - the caring voice of CycleChat!

Someone I know (who lives elsewhere) had a big bust up with his partner about 8 years ago and she moved away with their daughter who was only about 3 at the time. He tried very hard to find out where they had gone but wasn't able to trace them until recently. He wasn't a neglectful father - it was doing his head in. He hadn't been given any say in the matter.

He went on FaceBook recently and found his daughter on there. He contacted her and asked if she would like to see him again and she was really excited about it. She asked her mother if it was okay and she seemed to have mellowed over the past few years and didn't object to it. They have seen each other several times since then.

I was walking through town a few weeks back and I saw father and daughter walking hand-in-hand and looking really happy. They had come here for a day trip. Last time I saw the girl she was a toddler and now she is 11.

I'd say try and contact your daughter. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried.

 

[snakehips]

So Postman , it seems you know something about where your daughter is now , and through Facebook what she is like. But she's 31 now. She may have her own children soon (if not already). Don't miss their lives as well.

Snake

 

[bauldbairn]

I'd say try and contact your daughter. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried.

+1, definately. Well done looking her up on Facebook - that must've been hard.

 

[Muddyfox]

Postman ... i know what you are feeling

19 years ago my girlfriend moved away without me knowing where she went and as we were'nt married i had no legal rights over our son

(this was my son who she took with her)

But 15 years later i found him and his mother ... his mother had returned back to Devon after living in an abusive relationship and after alot of explaining and tears my son decided that he wanted to get to know me and my family that i now have ... and 4 years on from that point we get on great and i have 2 granchildren from him and his girlfriend, so it is worth making the initial contact just to see if things could work out for you and your daughter

Here's my Grandaughter (Kaitlin) helping Mrs Muddyfox in the garden

Good luck Postie in whatever you decide is the best thing for you

Simon

 

[Noodley]

I am afraid that just because someone posts a sad story on here, it doesn't mean we all immediately have to assume his is the only side to the story. We don't know the other side though do we?

No, but it does not mean you have to make negative assumptions and be a complete knob either...

 

[slowmotion]

Noodley, you used the "K word" again!

I'm heading for the bunker...

 

[Monsieur Remings]

As others have said I can't really comprehend your situation - I have a daughter aged 2 and I honestly feel as if she has always been here, a part of me.

Only really need to add that you must get in touch with her fella. I'm sure you've thought a million times over as to how you might cope with her rejecting you, but do it mate, do it. Maybe it could work out to be the most beautiful thing and maybe you're scared that that might bring up emotions concerning the time you've had apart? Why not sooner etc? But everything happens for a reason, Postman.

My thoughts are with you and the very very best of luck fella.

DO IT and let her know that relationship or not, you'll love her from a distance either way.

 

[Noodley]

Oh, now I've got the wrath of Noodley descending on me Tell us Noodley, how does his daughter feel about all of this?

Oh you don't know do you, because for the last 23 years Postman has never bothered to find out.

We do not know, postman is sharing his current feelings. I admire him for doing so and I shall pass no judgement nor make assumptions...and you?

 

[slowmotion]

Oh, now I've got the wrath of Noodley descending on me Tell us Noodley, how does his daughter feel about all of this?

Oh you don't know do you, because for the last 23 years Postman has never bothered to find out.

Stop it.

This is not some kind of Reality TV hate-fest.

 

[Crankarm]

Same sort of story, I saw my daughter after 11 years (she was 3 at the time of divorce), I tried hard to love her, but there was nothing there, she was just another girl in the street so we stopped seeing each other.....I don’t have a daughter now

ps I hope you have better luck, all the best for the future

Now that is sad NN. It must be very difficult for you from time to time even if this is how you feel.