Never forgetting

[Riding in Circles]

I have not seen my youngest daughter for 6 years, her mother made it very hard on her and I had to take the difficult decision to say she did not have to see me if she did not want to, my eldest insisted on continuing to see me so I know my youngest gets her birthday and christmas cards and gifts but I never ever hear from her or know what she looks like, even with my eldest I am not allowed to have her mobile number and I rarely see her during holidays, I could go back to court over it but I know their mother will take it out on them, even though she is now remarried. The courts unfortunately are stacked against the father, I spent £80k over three years just to retain access and even during the proceedings when my ex ignored the courts instructions she was merely told off, so she knew she could do whatever.
I even successfully sued one of her many barristers for some of my costs or I could easily have hit £100k but the access arrangements were ultimately ignored by her and she continued to and continues to attempt to marginalise my relationship with my children, primarily my eldest now I do not see my youngest.
To the person who commented on the OP not attempting to contact his daughter, you have no idea of the circumstances, sometimes the not resident parent has to sacrifice his/her own needs for the best interests of the child, that is what it costs sometimes to be a real parent, it breaks my heart every single day, not seeing my youngest and having so little time with my eldest. I know I will never attempt to contact my youngest daughter again, my door is always open for her if she ever needs me but it has to be her choice at such time she is free from the manipulation of her mother.

 

[chillyuk]

I was taken from my father at 8 years old, and never saw him from that day to this. I have no idea if he is alive or dead. I am 63 years old so I reckon he could well be dead. I often regret not making an effort to trace him when I was younger, and I wonder what he was like because I remember so little about him.

I would say try and contact your daughter. Because she is a mature adult and hasn't made contact with you doesn't mean she doesn't care, or wont care. As others have said, make the approach. If it is accepted then you will have a whole new branch of the family to get to know. If you are rejected then you have lost nothing from where you are now.

 

[Riding in Circles]

That'll be me then. You're right, I cn only go on what has been written. What has been written is that Postman has decided, 23 years ago, not to contact them. None of the dreadful situation you found yourself in. Remember though, she is now grown up, and may well be able to understand the situation better, still you'll never know will you?

Your second point, it's a cop-out. Your daughter has probably been told you are some kind of waste of space by her mother. Prove her mother wrong and give it a go. What have you got to lose? A daughter you don't have anyway.

You have absolutely no idea what it took out of me to let her go. My youngest is 12 next Sunday.

I hope you never have to go through it, I suspect it would destroy someone like you.

 

[Mark_Robson]

User76 I wonder what has happened in your life to make you feel as you do?

 

[Dayvo]

User76 I wonder what has happened in your life to make you feel as you do?

+1

Get well soon, Maggot!

 

[numbnuts]

Reading all the sad stories including mine it makes you think there must be thousands if not hundreds of thousands of men and woman have to go through life not know there offspring this is really sad. I think I have got over it now, but still think of my daughter and wonder how she is getting along.

As for maggot, you have the right name, a snake and a top hat comes to mind

 

[postman]

Right it's time to stop this bickering .

When i posted the topic .I was not looking for sympathy .It was just that day was her Birthday .And i never forget .

After 14 months of trying to offer a financial settlement .I had to take her to court .

She wanted £108 per week maintanence .I was a postman earning £148 per week .She also wanted all the money from the sale of the house .That was impossible .
So i took the desicion to got to court .A recorder listened to both of us .He made a statement that she had not been too clear with her answers to him ,and thats in a court of law .

Maintenance was set at a total of £30 per week .I got £9,000.

Within weeks of this settlement .My Father in Law .Told me my girls had made a decision that at 8 and 3 .They did not want to see me again .

I even got two letters (very well written ) very adult wording .

I may have won in court but i lost outside .

I sought legal advice i could see them with a court official every S

 

[postman]

Thats gone wrong .


I decided not to push it .

They did not write those letters they copied them .

They did not take that decision .It was taken for them .


It caused me great pain over the years .But one day they and i will see each other .

Do you know why because I have given their upbringing to my saviour Jesus Christ .

It's in him who i trust .He knows my pain and knows my heart .

So no more .Talk about cycling .

And i shall never put antything this personel on here again .

I was not looking for sympathy .

 

[Mark_Robson]

Postman you may not have been looking for sympathy but I think that I can speak for most people here when I say that you have our deepest sympathy.

Cases like yours are far too common and they are all tragic. For every father who is denied contact with his children there are grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who also miss out also, all because of a spiteful, vindictive mother who decided to use her children to commit the ultimate cruelty.

I truly hope that you are reunited with your daughters one day and that you can build a meaningful and loving relationship with them.
My thoughts are with you.

 

[2Loose]

Postman you may not have been looking for sympathy but I think that I can speak for most people here when I say that you have our deepest sympathy.

Cases like yours are far too common and they are all tragic. For every father who is denied contact with his children there are grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who also miss out also, all because of a spiteful, vindictive mother who decided to use her children to commit the ultimate cruelty.

I truly hope that you are reunited with your daughters one day and that you can build a meaningful and loving relationship with them.
My thoughts are with you.

Definitely +1

 

[colly]

Sad tale Postman. I hope it comes good in the end for you and your daughters. It maybe many years since you have seen them but I would bet they often think back and wonder about you. Maybe not the youngest.
Maybe you can be in touch again one day and make up for lost time.

I know It would have broken my heart to have lost contact with either of my two boys or my daughter at any age never mind when they were 8 or 9.

Good luck to you.

 

[Muddyfox]

Postman you may not have been looking for sympathy but I think that I can speak for most people here when I say that you have our deepest sympathy.

Cases like yours are far too common and they are all tragic. For every father who is denied contact with his children there are grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who also miss out also, all because of a spiteful, vindictive mother who decided to use her children to commit the ultimate cruelty.

I truly hope that you are reunited with your daughters one day and that you can build a meaningful and loving relationship with them.
My thoughts are with you.

+2

Postman ... you dont have to explain yourself, do what you feel is the right thing to do "in your situation" and dont let some jumped up little tosser get to you

Simon

 

[postman]

 

[bauldbairn]

Postman you may not have been looking for sympathy but I think that I can speak for most people here when I say that you have our deepest sympathy.

Cases like yours are far too common and they are all tragic. For every father who is denied contact with his children there are grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who also miss out also, all because of a spiteful, vindictive mother who decided to use her children to commit the ultimate cruelty.

I truly hope that you are reunited with your daughters one day and that you can build a meaningful and loving relationship with them.
My thoughts are with you.

+3, good luck Postman!