You shouldn't need the cable completely tight.
I think he means that if you can't move the gear lever, it's too tight?? Try loosening the cable with the barrel adjuster, but do it gently, maybe a complete twist at a time go give it some slack. Then turn the crank and click the gear lever. No action mean another twist and so on, until it rides up to the high cog. There will be a biting point, but you may still find the chain drops off again. Again, loosen the barrel adjuster until it finally sits on neatly. Then check that it stays put in all gears and try all gears on both cogs, for grind and / or drop offs. Might take some time, but when it does, you'll get a nice buzz about you

If in real trouble and frrustration, might be worth going into an LBS and asking them to do it but insist that they let you watch...cost you a couple of quid at very, very most.