NHS old git's health check

[rich p]

I've had a letter inviting me to undergo one of these next week. I'm assuming it'll be blood pressure, cholesterol, ECG. Anything else I should worry about?
The letter said that it wouldn't involve undressing which was an obvious disappointment. That precludes a prostate exam unless I wear a skirt and no knickers.

 

[snorri]

Leave your wallet at home if you want to come within the 'healthy weight' limits.

 

[rich p]

I had to provide a small sample of poo. That was a first! And aiming into that little plastic pot is not as easy as it looks.

Actually they've asked for a urine sample. What shall I put it in? An empty bottle of scotch (I have a few) might persuade them that I have a drink issue

 

[postman]

Annual check up.Blood pressure diet advice and cholesterol advice.Main thing lose weight.Common sense really.

 

[Globalti]

Be prepared to be asked if you have had gay or promiscuous sex in the last year or taken drugs.

 

[Theseus]

I had to provide a small sample of poo. That was a first! And aiming into that little plastic pot is not as easy as it looks.

Having just turned 50 I was sent a home collection kit. The game of Pooh Sticks will never be the same.

 

[Aperitif]

Actually they've asked for a urine sample. What shall I put it in? An empty bottle of scotch (I have a few) might persuade them that I have a drink issue

Taking the piss is an art form with you, Rich - there'll not be a problem. I can imagine the furore at the docs when Davywalnuts offers to take in a sample 'a la Mort' (to be discreet about this matter ahem...)
I had the 'once over' a couple of weeks ago. The doc said I was fine but obese, but not to worry about it. I had to take a long draught from my hip flask as I was worried by then, but he said it was something to do with mussels. I said I don't eat them no more but I'm partial to riding 200 odd miles a week etc, to which he replied "Have you done the Dunwich Dynamo?" Of course, I started to elaborate and had him reaching for my hip flask toute de suite. Amazing these health checks.
Oh, and while you're there, get the implants sorted out - they really don't suit you, and the hip joint too...apparently they are disintegrating now, too.
Alternatively, I'll see you for a beer later!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Take a bodybag and a toe-tag with you just in case, old timer!

 

[Crackle]

How come they've only just caught up with you, this must be well overdue, given the title.

 

[Chromatic]

Annual check up.Blood pressure diet advice and cholesterol advice.Main thing lose weight.Common sense really.

Funnily enough I went for one of these this morning, it was as Postman said plus checking wee for sugar, blood or anything else that shouldn't be there and with exception that I wasn't told to lose weight.

 

[Aperitif]

Take a bodybag and a toe-tag with you just in case, old timer!

I have an appointment at the opticians later but why does Rich need to take a tote bag with him to the docs, Ed?

 

[BigonaBianchi]

But why does one require a well man check when one is an unwell man?...I demand an unwell man check

 

[slowmotion]

Be prepared to be asked if you have had gay or promiscuous sex in the last year or taken drugs.

...and if you have been getting jiggy in sub-Saharan Africa...

 

[Davidc]

But why does one require a well man check when one is an unwell man?...I demand an unwell man check

I get one of those every 6 months!

 

[slowmotion]

Those of us who are blood donors are used to being asked those questions, what's the problem?

No problem at all. They asked me those questions, including the one about Africa. I didn't find it even remotely awkward.