Not how I imagined it.

[Crandoggler]

I guess this is the right place for this. Just fancied a little moan and to get this off my chest as my wife doesn't see my view on life.

Here's the thing: When do you accept that whatever you do with your current life, you'll never do enough to have the things you want? To live the life you want. Drive the cars, buy the houses, watches clothes and shoes. To go on a safari, explore the world and not have to worry about any financial implication? I'm finding that a tough pill to swallow at the moment.

As a young 27 year old man, currently serving, with a young daughter and a wife. I often struggle to look on the bright side of life. I'm well aware that I have my health and family. Which is great, but selfishness aside, I love tnem, and would give up everything I do have to support them. But, they don't bring the finer things in life. I spoke about this with my father a while back, I said how I felt about people having this and being able to do that and how I'm never content in life. He said he was content with life and that these things will come in time.

That's great, but got me thinking that my dad was just trying to get off the subject, as people don't really like to see where they failed in life or where they could have done things differently to enhance their life.

This led me on to the phrase 'being content with life'. This is a dangerous statement, I think. There's a whole world out there, from the very basic interaction with other humans which fulfills pride, maybe love, even makes you feel warm and fuzzy, experiences money can't buy... There's also the finer things in life, everyday luxuries and luxuries probably not worth the name. These also fill you up, these can be bought.

At my age, selfishly, I can say that the luxuries are important to me. My perception of luxuries I mean. Now my dad says that you'll get that as you get older, with savings, with experience etc. I say bollocks. Why can't I have them now? Because I have a daughter, wife, house to run, cars to pay for, money to worry about. The list goes on. I'm sure some would love that, but humans are humans and we take things for granted, I'm no different.

So, if I'm going to continue my journey into self pity and woeful appreciation for my own life. Where, or when, will the time come that I can accept that the 5 bedroom house isn't possible. When can I accept that driving that ridiculous BMW or Audi isn't ever possible. That I'll continue to have to live in service provided accommodation as I simply can't afford a deposit for a house. When will I accept that I'll be forever paying off debts and never experiencing these things?

I'm sure there must come a time that we all become 'content'. But that scares the shoot out of me. I don't ever want to be content. Not until I've owned the luxuries I've spoken about above and experienced all I can. But, like any other dreamer, I live for the last Friday of the month, before dwindling into realisation that a new set of shoes is out of the question this month and I'll make do with that t shirt for the next 6 months.

Disclaimer, as I'm sure there's a wealth of people with a life a lot harder and a lot less fulfilled than mine due to whatever circumstances. I'm just an average joe, wanting and wishing to be more than that. I can also assure you that no member of my family goes without, and to many we are well off. I just want more.

Views? lol.

 

[ColinJ]

Hopefully, you will eventually come to realise the difference between what is important and what is just successful marketing!

I know somebody who got the houses, cars, watches and all that other crap. He lost his wife and kids along the way though ...

 

[welsh dragon]

You will learn that age and experience and hopefully wisdom will find you when you grow up. Getting the things you want takes hard work and decades of slog.

it took me and Mr WD decades of paying off a mortgage, then saving like crazy to be able to move to a part of the Uk that we have always wanted to be and never thought we could have. People from working class backgrounds, who grew up just after the war, or even in the 50's at best aspired to own theyre own home. That was it.

its called life, and you can't expect everything unless you are prepared to train for a job that will give you the money that you seem to want. Life is never fair. Others always seem to have more, or better or bigger or more expensive. Welcome to the real world. Enjoy what you have, and work for the things you want. And you won't get what you want any other way. There are no shortcuts.

that is life, the real world. Hard work is the only way you will get things. But perhaps even if you get the things you think you want, you will still want more.

 

[ScotiaLass]

You don't need the house, expensive car, or to tour the world, to lead a happy, contented life.

You say you're serving? My daughter served for 10 years. She's seen friends come home minus limbs, or worse, not at all.
One day you'll see what's truly important and that 'need' to have it all, will vanish.

 

[Drago]

All thinking people have these thoughts at some point.

I've slowly come to realise a Fiesta got me to work as quick as my old Porker 928, and that I can only crap on one toilet at a time. Back then I'd fallen into the trap of not leading my life in a way that made me happy, but was leading it to impress other people... people who probably didn't give a sheet anyway.

This epiphany was part of the reason I broke up with my first wife. She was very materialistic, a company director, wanted the flashest 6 bedroom Barratt home, 2.4 holidays in Florida and an annual child, or whatever.

I notw don't holiday abroad often, drive a decade old Kia, dress like Compo on a bad day, go shooting, sink Guinness up the pub and play pool with the local gamekeeper, walk my dog and generally live how I want to live, not how the Saturday Telegraph weekend magazine urges me to. I feel a lot more chilled not craving after the latest smartphone, Audi or weekend in New York.

How long you signed up for? I only did 4, but then went to work for Her Maj elsewhere.

 

[Crandoggler]

I grieves me slightly, to sit in solitude and work a life of misery to grind a house and life. It isn't what I'm looking for. Nor is it grounds for life experience. I'd like to point out, as the above poster has, many of us serving have life experience well beyond our years. I'd concur. My tours have produced the man I am today. I'm an aircraft engineer, if anyone wanted to know. I'd like to think I've seen more, experienced more and been through more than most retired civilians.

Anyway, back on course.

 

[TVC]

I can only echo what is said above.

Money was tight through my 20s, and I know it's even harder to get going in life these days. It wasn't until I got into my 40s that I finally got ahead of the game.

Think through why you want the flash car and the rest of the bling, it's all superficial and transient, your family is the core of your identity.

 

[Crandoggler]

Yeah you're right and I do agree. Which is why I carry on!

Just interested in whether others can say, at whatever age, or whatever stage they're at; that they're content. And why.

When do those dreams actually manifest into the reality, that you will never, ever achieve what you want to with your chosen course in life? That's the crux.

 

[Drago]

In want to drink Guinness, do Search and Rescue stuff, and ride my bikes a bit. Things are going pretty well.

 

[welsh dragon]

Yeah you're right and I do agree. Which is why I carry on!

Just interested in whether others can say, at whatever age, or whatever stage they're at; that they're content. And why.

When do those dreams actually manifest into the reality, that you will never, ever achieve what you want to with your chosen course in life? That's the crux.

Its different for everyone. Some realise quickly that they will never have everything they want. Others take years decades even. Only you can decide when. Good luck.

 

[biggs682]

a lot of us have learnt through experiance that money and its trappings cant make life happy all round for long

and i can vouch for that

 

[Crandoggler]

Maybe some (me) may never accept it. And long for the eternal windfall. Maybe I should try to accept it? But I don't want to... Lol

 

[Moon bunny]

To me the greatest luxury is freedom, in the wide sense, of doing a job (or jobs, greedy bunny) that I want to do, despite the fact that I would have been a lot better paid for the daytime job if I had stayed as a manager with the "caring industry" but that was well, er, working for the "caring industry", with other "caring" employees, and I could feel them slowly sucking me down to their level of perpetual winging and looking forwards to early retirement, don't get me started on the service users. So, I make do with car that is only slightly above "entry level" in one of the less luxurious ranges, but so? It goes to exactly the same places. We cook our own tea, instead of the overpriced pub and restaurant meals we used to not enjoy. I see the continuous pushing of one more bike, fancy watches, designer clothes and so on as what it is, a scam on the overpaid, and be happy with my lot.
What is my lot? To work with beautiful things in wonderful surroundings among people who are not happy in their jobs. Not happy? Yes, not happy, but passionate, to the point of stopping out until 10 pm because, "If we get it done today the varnish'll dry over the weekend and we can get on with it first thing Monday". How did I get this job? By hard work, a year-long job interview as one co-worker put it.
My advice to anyone? Get a job where you make other people happy. If you can find employment doing something other people would pay to do, so much the better. I know not everyone can do it, but it is suprising what you can do if you try.

 

[midlife]

I started work at the age of 14 and hope to break even when I am 62, might not be able to and have to carry on working for another 5 years after that to get Dom through Uni. That's life as they say

Shaun

 

[alicat]

In the words of the song, 'Money can't buy you love'. What's your wife's take on this? What would she think to you mentioning your daughter first and your wife second?