Cyclist33
Guest
- Location
- Warrington
It didn't start out as light, though.
Not how I imagined it.
- Thread starter Crandoggler
- Start date
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It didn't start out as light, though.
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
OP
OP
Crandoggler
Senior Member
I'm not ready to give up yet 
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
I'm not ready to give up yet
That's the spirit.
The stuff you want and aspire too Is just stuff, it's just background noise what's important is you, yours and all about you.
cyberknight
As long as I breathe, I attack.
- Location
- Land of confusion
I aspire to make sure my kids have a better life and a better understanding of what they want in life , my father was many good things but his zen attitude meant no direction or advice was given .
Dave the Smeghead
Über Member
If the OP is that unhappy at 27 it is going to be a rough ride.
Chasing the big house and the flash cars will not bring happiness.
The OP needs to find what makes him happy and work towards that preferably doing something he can enjoy.
As it is said "do something you love for a living and you will never work a day in your life".
For me in my mid forties I am earning what is considered a good salary, but I still drop into the overdraft on a regular enough basis, I drive a 14 year old car and I don't have a big house.
However, with the exception of the mortgage, which will be paid off in 10 years, I don't owe on anything else.
I have my lovely daughters, my dogs, my bikes and one of the best things I do is visit forests or parks with my daughters and my dogs. It costs nothing and if I could spend the rest of my days doing precisely that I would die a happy man.
With age will hopefully come wisdom and the OP will understand what is important to him.
Chasing the big house and the flash cars will not bring happiness.
The OP needs to find what makes him happy and work towards that preferably doing something he can enjoy.
As it is said "do something you love for a living and you will never work a day in your life".
For me in my mid forties I am earning what is considered a good salary, but I still drop into the overdraft on a regular enough basis, I drive a 14 year old car and I don't have a big house.
However, with the exception of the mortgage, which will be paid off in 10 years, I don't owe on anything else.
I have my lovely daughters, my dogs, my bikes and one of the best things I do is visit forests or parks with my daughters and my dogs. It costs nothing and if I could spend the rest of my days doing precisely that I would die a happy man.
With age will hopefully come wisdom and the OP will understand what is important to him.
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Ok, here's the thing. One of the guys who works with us is married with 2 kids. He bought the newest iphone when it came out, he pays for his wife and 2 kids to have the top of the range phones, designer clothes, ipads, ipods, sky tv, god knows how many channels, he constantly bragged about the money spent and what he bought for his family. His wife cheated on him.... He then sold the family home, he only had about 5 years mortgage left, and bought a brand new 4 bedroom house, he is still with his wife, mortgaged up to his eyeballs and since moving into the house has had nothing but problems with it, they now have to have a wall taken down and a floor taken up and all redone. He may have bragged about the material things he has but he will have to continue working past retirement to pay for everything, his kids are spoilt little monsters and lets be honest there is a 50/50 chance his wife will stray again, possibly kick him out and take the house leaving him homeless but still paying the mortgage etc...
He is brass and glass, bragging about material things but he has a massive amount of money to pay out over the next 20 or more years, is this what you want?
Life is a gift not a right, love it and embrace it. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
He is brass and glass, bragging about material things but he has a massive amount of money to pay out over the next 20 or more years, is this what you want?
Life is a gift not a right, love it and embrace it. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
swee'pea99
Squire
I watch a 15 year old telly, drive an 18 year old car and ride a 50 year old bike, but I'm 54 and fit as a flea, and have great crack with my family round the dinner table most nights. That does me.
I can honestly say there's only two things I regret about not having had more money in life. First, I would've liked to have been able to travel more, and give my girls more and better holidays. And second, I would've loved to have been able to take my family out much more, to films, to the theatre, to concerts, to meals. Other than that, I can honestly say I don't give a crap. Stuff is just stuff. Chase that and you're lost.
Then again, Shirley Bassey once said: "I been poor and I been rich, and rich is better." And there's truth in that. But I think a more important truth is that for most people happiness lies somewhere in between. Poor puts you at the mercy of 'Them', unspecified, and there's no fun in that. I speak from experience. But rich, for all but a few, just puts you in a willy-waving contest, where you can never win, and the effort drains your ability to tell what actually matters from what doesn't.
I appreciate what Shirley said, and I understand where it comes from. But I think the Beatles actually got it right:
"And in the end
the love you take
is equal to
the love you make."
And, it goes without saying: 'love is all you need.'
Time for the washing up. Such is life!
I can honestly say there's only two things I regret about not having had more money in life. First, I would've liked to have been able to travel more, and give my girls more and better holidays. And second, I would've loved to have been able to take my family out much more, to films, to the theatre, to concerts, to meals. Other than that, I can honestly say I don't give a crap. Stuff is just stuff. Chase that and you're lost.
Then again, Shirley Bassey once said: "I been poor and I been rich, and rich is better." And there's truth in that. But I think a more important truth is that for most people happiness lies somewhere in between. Poor puts you at the mercy of 'Them', unspecified, and there's no fun in that. I speak from experience. But rich, for all but a few, just puts you in a willy-waving contest, where you can never win, and the effort drains your ability to tell what actually matters from what doesn't.
I appreciate what Shirley said, and I understand where it comes from. But I think the Beatles actually got it right:
"And in the end
the love you take
is equal to
the love you make."
And, it goes without saying: 'love is all you need.'
Time for the washing up. Such is life!
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
I was adopted by a family with proper money. Old money. I got a wonderful education at a boarding school and was mostly ignored. Oh I had dogs, ponies etc and I came home for the summer and all that but I turned my back on it when it became apparent that I was expected to marry a cousin (something about land and other property consolidation).
I ran away and never went back.
I live in a rented flat, have 2 carbon bikes, a bunch of dogs, couple of very nice guitars and am reasonably content. I have no debt as I have a 'save up then buy it' life policy.
Having reached the age of 51, I have long since decided that I don't need the trappings of the modern celebrity endorsed world. Sure I have a good record collection and something rather gorgeous to play them on, old though when they made hi-if to last.. I don't believe the hype of the advertised lifestyles we are all supposed to have. I have seen a lot of people with horrible money problems trying to attain an impossible standard of living.
As for life not being how you imagined it, few things are. I think the thing to do is KBO and see how it all turns out.
I ran away and never went back.
I live in a rented flat, have 2 carbon bikes, a bunch of dogs, couple of very nice guitars and am reasonably content. I have no debt as I have a 'save up then buy it' life policy.
Having reached the age of 51, I have long since decided that I don't need the trappings of the modern celebrity endorsed world. Sure I have a good record collection and something rather gorgeous to play them on, old though when they made hi-if to last.. I don't believe the hype of the advertised lifestyles we are all supposed to have. I have seen a lot of people with horrible money problems trying to attain an impossible standard of living.
As for life not being how you imagined it, few things are. I think the thing to do is KBO and see how it all turns out.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
If I am being brutally honest, I feel sorry for such people.
..... Err, the subject of this thread I mean, not Saluki!
..... Err, the subject of this thread I mean, not Saluki!
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raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
^^^^^^^+1
summerdays
Cycling in the sun
- Location
- Bristol
Whilst I like some nice things in life, I don't think they have brought me happiness. In fact if you take a look at past purchases, those ones you "had to have", then many will now not be appreciated. The things that do bring me happiness is my family and friends, especially my husband, just being with them. Money helps to allow us to spend time together, but longing for that better house etc just brings stress. I could afford to go out and buy a new bike tomorrow, and I've been intending to for ages, but I'm still contemplating what it would be, and if I really need it. When I do eventually buy it I will appreciate it more because I waited.
Pale Rider
Legendary Member
I suspect that is because as single men 'all found' in service accommodation they have a lot of disposable income.
Things start to hit the buffers when they marry, spend a lot more time in the accommodation, and realise it's not of a good standard, especially so if the wife is keen on a nice home.
The OP seems to be doing quite well by most measures, job, wife, child, etc.
If some misfortune befell him or the family, he would realise how well he is currently doing.
I'm in no way wishing that, but it took a health problem for me to realise my modest existence was actually a lot better than I though it was.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Driving home from Cov last both in my 10 year old Kia Sportge (albeit a rather natty one with leather and all th toys). Much of the journey was through the 50mph like I'm th M1, rigorously enforced with cameras. Behind me the whole way was a very nice looking 15 plate Range Rooney.
I doubt his car was more comfortable than mine. It certainly wasn't able to travel any quicker. So what exactly did the £80,000 he spent on it but him that my £2000 car couldn't provide?
Its all imginary and ephemeral, and the lucky ones among us come to realise it's all in the mind and become happier, better and nicer people for it.
I doubt his car was more comfortable than mine. It certainly wasn't able to travel any quicker. So what exactly did the £80,000 he spent on it but him that my £2000 car couldn't provide?
Its all imginary and ephemeral, and the lucky ones among us come to realise it's all in the mind and become happier, better and nicer people for it.
Thing is being able to say it doesn't matter is very much the voice of experience. Different lives get different experiences - the OP may always find stuff is important to him. And I totally disagree with the "find a job you love and you'll never have to work" as it's vastly unrealistic for most people, especially once you have to keep a roof over a kid's head. Great if you love your job and it pays enough for food, bills and mortgage but if not, do what my dad did - find an OK job, do it to the best of your ability and then spend all your spare time doing what you love.
There's nothing wrong with being proud of the fruits of your labour, whether it's a five bed exec palace or something more humble. There's also nothing wrong with a bit of ruthless ambition - it's only a problem when it negatively affects others.
There's nothing wrong with being proud of the fruits of your labour, whether it's a five bed exec palace or something more humble. There's also nothing wrong with a bit of ruthless ambition - it's only a problem when it negatively affects others.
