Odd factoids

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Bonefish Blues

Banging donk
Location
52 Festive Road
Porridge is not Scottish at all, but was invented by Sir Walter Scott, (who also invented tartan), hence "Scott's Porridge Oats".

Prior to Sir Walter, the traditional Scottish breakfast was smashed avocado on toast served with balsamic vinegar dressing. Scottish warriors of old would smear themselves with the greasy green fruit before going into battle, mainly because it's a great midge repellent, and also to strike fear into the English.

Sadly, the cultural hegemony of Scott's Porridge oats took over the zeitgeist, and the great avocado forests of Achnasheen are no more.

True all that. Who says this place doesn't deal in facts.

Also true is that there are no oats in Scotts Porridge Oats packets - at least that is the rumour since nobody has, as yet, been able to open a box to examine the contents.
 
Location
Cheshire
Captain Oates was discovered alive and running a beach bar in Tahiti in 1923.
His epic walk across Antartica in 1912 has become a thing of legend.
 

Ming the Merciless

There is no mercy
Location
Inside my skull
The Scottish thought the phrase sowing your oats, meant sprinkling your porridge on the highland tracks, so you could find your way back home. Later on the national trust starting repairing paths with porridge, thinking this was their original state.
 

roubaixtuesday

self serving virtue signaller
Sombreros are traditional funeral wear in Scotland, worn to allow mourners more time graveside in the awful Scottish weather.

Their name comes from the same root as "sombre", literally "sadness hat"
 

colly

Re member eR
Location
Leeds
Since the traditional kilt does not have pockets, the Scottish Laptop served as a purse and container for any other necessary personal items.
With the advent of slim, lightweight computers the name was changed to 'Sporran' to avoid confusion. As a consequence when in Scotland, it isn't unusual to find Scots saying they need to 'recharge their sporran' as a way of introducing a comic feel to any gathering that has become a little serious. It always results in some shy chortling and a merry atmosphere soon ensues.
 
Location
Cheshire
When Scotland broke away from Greenland some 18 million years ago England was still attached to Lanzarote.
 

roubaixtuesday

self serving virtue signaller
Surreal Madrid was a football club originally formed by Salvador Dalí.

Unfortunately they were banned by the Spanish FA after a series of transgressions including melting the goalposts before the match, fielding elephants and puncturing the ball with outrageous pointed moustaches.

The club were taken over by Franco, changed their name to "Real", and the rest is history.
 
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