Odd factoids

[Mad Doug Biker]

Scotland is actually all just a figment of the imagination of a small dairy cow called 'Flossie', who lives in Suffolk.

 

[Threevok]

Sebastian Coe's wife did a runner in Scotland

 

[bruce1530]

Runner beans cannot run at all. They can, however, climb very slowly.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Butter beans are fake. They're actually made from margarine.

 

[Threevok]

Lawrence Kohlberg found beans a dilemma

 

[PeteXXX]

Kohlberg moved to England and changed his name to Carlberg to set up a company that transmogrified pee into fizzy urine.

 

[Threevok]

Carlsberg spent all his fortune - pimping up an old Russian hatchback car.....

...probably the best Lada in the World

 

[bruce1530]

Funny Jokes were invented by Bernard Cribbins in 1873. Prior to that, jokes were humourless statements, as demonstrated in the previous post.

 

[Threevok]

Bernard Cribbins got married in Turkey and is now called Bernard Matthews

 

[bruce1530]

Bernard Matthews' "Bootiful" catchphrase is not, as commonly assumed, a mispronunciation of "Beautiful". It's really an expression of his fetish for rubber wellington boots.

 

[Threevok]

Bernard Matthews spent his last 10 years, breeding Turkeys that were covered in breadcrumbs, rather than feathers.

This cut down on the amount time and manpower required to process many of his products.

This made him very unpopular with some of his workforce and also explained why no plucker liked him.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Bernard Matthews was so mean that he instructed that after his demise he should follow his beloved birds down the processing lines. Waste not want not was his maxim. The Marketing Dept were disappointed that their innovative 'Find Bernard's Bunion' competition produced no winners, and in fact seemed, unaccountably, to have resulted in a reduction in sales.

 

[Threevok]

Until 1923, Turkey Drummers were known as Ottoman Timpanists

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Until 1923, Turkey Drummers were known as Ottoman Timpanists

An Ottoman is what it is recommended you sit on after eating too much Turkey.

 

[Seevio]

The phrase "Live, Laugh, Love" came about after a botched attempt to translate Du Hast by Rammstein into English.