Ode to the Mince Pie

[Fnaar]

Mince Pies! Mince Pies!
Before my eyes!
Just look at the size
Of those lovely mince pies!

Oh pie! Pastry firm!
Inside succulent!
"Snow" on top makes me cough
And feel truculent.

Pack of six from the shops
Or home-made by the ton
I have to have more
I can't stop at just one.

I have taken you, pie
To my heart a lot.
My regret is that
You make me fart a lot.

 

[rich p]

You are a deep fruit, Fnaar!!

 

[jimboalee]

There was a mince pie, but it's scone.

 

[Unkraut]

That poem was exceedingly good.

 

[jimboalee]

This is why Fnaar got sacked from the Marks & Spencers advertising dept.

 

[Crankarm]

Good poem Fnaar although last verse mince pies are taken to one's mouth then belly rather than the heart, nnless you have mincemeat and pastry flowing around your circulatory system? Perhaps you can rewrite the last verse around the ryhmning couplet of tummy and yummy.

 

[Fnaar]

Good poem Fnaar although last verse mince pies are taken to one's mouth then belly rather than the heart, nnless you have mincemeat and pastry flowing around your circulatory system? Perhaps you can rewrite the last verse around the ryhmning couplet of tummy and yummy.

OK then...

I have taken you, pie,
To my tum a lot
My regret? I get wind
From my bum a lot

 

[Crankarm]

I have taken you, pie
To my heart a lot.
My regret is that
You make me fart a lot.

I have taken you, pie
To my tummy and put on
Weight quite a lot,
Yummy, yummy, yummy....

Cry, cry, cry; The only
Problem is I, burp
and fart a lot, as
my pies come back up
for a second try.

Yes?

 

[Fnaar]

Not bad, Crankarm...
I COULD claim, of course, that my original last verse was also a comment on the fact that generally mince seems contain a lot of fat, which therefore DOES enter the circulatory system. But I only thought of that after the fact.

 

[Crankarm]

OK then...

I have taken you, pie,
To my tum a lot
My regret? I get wind
From my bum a lot

 

[Piemaster]

Mmmmmmm. Pie

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Very nice Fnaar

Oh minces pie so lovely
Makes our hearts soar
I'm going to stuff them down
Till I can't eat no more

It could be the mincemeat
It could be the crust
It could be brandy butter
That's making me lust

Make 'em with lard
Make 'em with fat
I'll eat 'em all up
Till in my pants I've shat

 

[Cubist]

Very nice Fnaar

Oh minces pie so lovely
Makes our hearts soar
I'm going to stuff them down
Till I can't eat no more

It could be the mincemeat
It could be the crust
It could be brandy butter
That's making me lust

Make 'em with lard
Make 'em with fat
I'll eat 'em all up
Till in my pants I've shat

 

[Fnaar]

Very nice Fnaar

Oh minces pie so lovely
Makes our hearts soar
I'm going to stuff them down
Till I can't eat no more

It could be the mincemeat
It could be the crust
It could be brandy butter
That's making me lust

Make 'em with lard
Make 'em with fat
I'll eat 'em all up
Till in my pants I've shat

very good especially the build up to (and eventual release of) the last line

 

[Crankarm]

Very nice Fnaar

Oh minces pie so lovely
Makes our hearts soar
I'm going to stuff them down
Till I can't eat no more

It could be the mincemeat
It could be the crust
It could be brandy butter
That's making me lust

Make 'em with lard
Make 'em with fat
I'll eat 'em all up
Till in my pants I've shat