Oz joke

[very-near]

And another one...

An Australian man is seeking to join the Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look
good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take
before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six
drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit. "

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

 

[very-near]

Oh dear, you're obviously on a racist and mysoginist trip today very-near...

What planet are you on User, and where does the mysoginist bit come from ?

I thought you did Irony

 

[very-near]

Give it up User. I wasn't expecting you you understand the other joke

 

[postman]

Asylum seeker wakes up in a ditch.Next to him a Fairy with a wand.The Asylum seeker gives the fairy a drink of water to bring it round.

"you can have three wishes for your kindness"

"Oh first i would like perfect teeth.But not to pay".

Puff. Perfect teeeth.

"Next i would like a big detached house two 4x4 cars and money"

Puff all is fulfilled.

"Finally i want to be proper English man".

Puff. He's stood in an overgrown council estate garden with a house and borded up windows.

Rotten teeth and no cars.

"What has happened "?

"English men they have nothing "replied the fairy.

 

[cchapman]

Please excuse my temerity in butting in on the senior members enjoying a joke.
The thing is it is not a joke because it is not funny. This is the original joke from which these examples are watered down.
Three persons have passed all the tests to become a CIA operative, except for the last test, which is to open the door of the sealed room and shoot dead what lies within. The Englishman goes first and recoils blubbering, "no, you beasts, I cannot shoot the family dog." The Frenchman next returns white faced - "not my mistress". Finally the Russian woman is given the gun. She opens the door and closes it behind her. Then are heard screams, thuds, groans, and finally silence. The woman returns. "My husband, you bastards", she says, why didn't you tell me the pistol had blanks. I had to finish him off with the chair"

 

[TheDoctor]

I think it's streching it to call any of Linfy's efforts 'jokes', TBH.
Offensive I can cope with, it's the utter-failure-to-be-funny that's the problem.

You need to get on some better mailing lists, Linf!

 

[Fnaar]

When did Linford LunchBox turn into very-near... ?

 

[very-near]

When did Linford LunchBox turn into very-near... ?

When admin changed the password to the LLB account.

 

[very-near]

Please excuse my temerity in butting in on the senior members enjoying a joke.
The thing is it is not a joke because it is not funny. This is the original joke from which these examples are watered down.
Three persons have passed all the tests to become a CIA operative, except for the last test, which is to open the door of the sealed room and shoot dead what lies within. The Englishman goes first and recoils blubbering, "no, you beasts, I cannot shoot the family dog." The Frenchman next returns white faced - "not my mistress". Finally the Russian woman is given the gun. She opens the door and closes it behind her. Then are heard screams, thuds, groans, and finally silence. The woman returns. "My husband, you bastards", she says, why didn't you tell me the pistol had blanks. I had to finish him off with the chair"

I have to agree with you on that one . I'll have to give the source of the OP a damned good thrashing next time I see him.

Yours was a far better effort