classic33
Leg End Member
Take care of yourself over the coming days, and remember the good times.
I completely missed where you mentioned he died this morning in your first post, and for that I apologise.
Passing of Parents.
- Thread starter Jameshow
- Start date
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I completely missed where you mentioned he died this morning in your first post, and for that I apologise.
Reynard
Guru
- Location
- Cambridgeshire, UK
That's what I'm wading through right how. And I despise paperwork at the best of times.
The other hard bit is getting rid of all the stuff. Dad was a hoarder, and so was mum. I foresee many more trips to the tip.
Reynard
Guru
- Location
- Cambridgeshire, UK
Really sorry to hear that - I can't imagine how hard that must be.
Do you have help? I hope you're winning!
Reynard
Guru
- Location
- Cambridgeshire, UK
For the paperwork, yes. My best friend did this sort of stuff for Citizen's Advice for well over twenty years. So have the best expert ever.
For the clearance, no. I have to wade through that myself. I'm starting with the stuff that can very obviously be thrown away.
CarbonClem
Senior Member
Sorry to hear of the losses here 
My Mum died about two years ago, she’d been heading into dementia so I never think much about ‘one more chat’ as she’d been beyond a good chat for so long. Also my Dad needed looking after straight away and still does albeit much worse now. He’s kind of taken all the focus and energy. Hard to say but I’m not sure how I’ll feel when he goes , it’ll be a blessed relief. Feel shoot thinking it too.
My Mum died about two years ago, she’d been heading into dementia so I never think much about ‘one more chat’ as she’d been beyond a good chat for so long. Also my Dad needed looking after straight away and still does albeit much worse now. He’s kind of taken all the focus and energy. Hard to say but I’m not sure how I’ll feel when he goes , it’ll be a blessed relief. Feel shoot thinking it too.
ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Widnes
WHen I was faced with clearing things out I found that it helped for me if I had 3 piles
Keep - no question
maybe keep - not sure
get rid
and I just picked something up and immediately put it in a pile
That way I ended up getting through most of a cupboard/room quite quickly
and then just had the "dunno" pile to go through later
I generally found that later on I could go through it and most could be "get rid" when I had more time
SOme "dunno" boxes were still "dunno" some months later but that was minimal
The get rid could also be re-sorted later into "Charity" and "tip"
but doing the initial sort followed by pre-sorted re-sort calmer and later on helped me
but everyone is different
and you have to accept that some things you know you don;t really need but you cannot get rid of yet
(in my case - their cocktail cabinet - it was a sort of symbol - but the style was never something I would want - took me years to be able to get rid of it
and even then no charity shop wanted it!!! in spite of it being in excellent condition and really good looking)
Keep - no question
maybe keep - not sure
get rid
and I just picked something up and immediately put it in a pile
That way I ended up getting through most of a cupboard/room quite quickly
and then just had the "dunno" pile to go through later
I generally found that later on I could go through it and most could be "get rid" when I had more time
SOme "dunno" boxes were still "dunno" some months later but that was minimal
The get rid could also be re-sorted later into "Charity" and "tip"
but doing the initial sort followed by pre-sorted re-sort calmer and later on helped me
but everyone is different
and you have to accept that some things you know you don;t really need but you cannot get rid of yet
(in my case - their cocktail cabinet - it was a sort of symbol - but the style was never something I would want - took me years to be able to get rid of it
and even then no charity shop wanted it!!! in spite of it being in excellent condition and really good looking)
Mad Doug Biker
Mediocrity Manifest.
- Location
- Craggy Island
If in doubt, send it to auction! 😆
Glad to hear you have some help at least; how are you getting on with clearing out the house?
I hope you're making some progress and aren't being hammered by time constraints etc!
Sorry to hear of the losses here
My Mum died about two years ago, she’d been heading into dementia so I never think much about ‘one more chat’ as she’d been beyond a good chat for so long. Also my Dad needed looking after straight away and still does albeit much worse now. He’s kind of taken all the focus and energy. Hard to say but I’m not sure how I’ll feel when he goes , it’ll be a blessed relief. Feel shoot thinking it too.
Try not to feel guilty for feeling this way - while it's natural to question this mindset it's a rational wish for the burdon to be lifted for all concerned.
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
Took us around a year to clear MIL's house and that when she'd been in a Nursing home for a few years - couldn't do too much until she passed. We did alot for them before FIL went, but it was hard - they were inspecting anything (junk) that we cleared from the garage. Must say it's still an on-going job at getting rid, even though MIL passed a few years ago - MrsF has had to be in the right frame of mind to go through stuff (that ended up here) and dispose of it. It takes time.
It was a slight relief when she went as she'd been unwell for a very long time, and it was hard work for all the family. All the best !
It was a slight relief when she went as she'd been unwell for a very long time, and it was hard work for all the family. All the best !
So sorry for your loss.
Mine are both alive, although my Dad's health is not that great.
On a practical level, dealing with stuff when the inevitable happens will be a complete nightmare as my brother still lives with them, and hasn't spoken to me in about twenty years. My Dad has always told me I'd get part of the family farm and I'm sure my brother won't want me to have it as he's just a parasite. It upsets me even going to visit as my brother just completely blanks me as if I don't exist.
Mine are both alive, although my Dad's health is not that great.
On a practical level, dealing with stuff when the inevitable happens will be a complete nightmare as my brother still lives with them, and hasn't spoken to me in about twenty years. My Dad has always told me I'd get part of the family farm and I'm sure my brother won't want me to have it as he's just a parasite. It upsets me even going to visit as my brother just completely blanks me as if I don't exist.
Reynard
Guru
- Location
- Cambridgeshire, UK
Mum lived with me, so her stuff is rammed into my place. So no time constraints.
I'll be glad to have my cupboard space / storage space / utility room back. The trouble is, both parents were hoarders.
steveindenmark
Legendary Member
Both my parents are long gone. Between now and the funeral is the worst part. After the funeral and while having drinks. You will all recall the funny and daft things your dad did. These stories will be told at dinner parties and family gatherings forever.
My biggest regret is not appreciating what my parents did for me and my 5 siblings. We had no money, no holidays, not much for christmas. But how they kept us all clean, fed and happy is a mystery to me. We all grew up to be productive and successful people.
My condolences on your fathers passing. It will get better.
My biggest regret is not appreciating what my parents did for me and my 5 siblings. We had no money, no holidays, not much for christmas. But how they kept us all clean, fed and happy is a mystery to me. We all grew up to be productive and successful people.
My condolences on your fathers passing. It will get better.
