When younger, I didn't have a lot of confidence, and so when speaking with someone new or important in some way (less with people I was comfortable with), I'd find that the pressure to 'be a good conversationalist (is that a word?!)' would mean that rather that listening to responses I'd be too preoccupied in thinking about what my next question was. I was so worried that I'd freeze up and leave an awkward silence. The trouble was that if your next question didn't line up nicely with their last response (e.g. if they'd already answered it) or worse still if they'd asked you something, you could end up in a mess!
Nowadays, I'm more confident. The worse thing for me is that someone makes a point mid-sentence and I drift.
Them: "So, I went to Tesco over the weekend, and bumped into an old friend. We had a long chat and it was really nice to see them. We used to work together - Fred - Used to work in accounts - you remember him?"
I hear: "So, I went to Tesco" *** brain cuts in "
oh, Tesco. I need to go there to pick up some milk. While I'm there, what shall I get for tea.... ah yes, haven't had Toad in the hole for a while... hang on, he's stopped talking. Oh no, I've not been listening" ***
-awkward silence-
Thankfully I've now got the confidence to just say "sorry, I zoned out after Tescos as I need to pick up things tonight. Very sorry, can we start again..."
