vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
Santander announce the imminent arrival of their first cycle through branch in London.
They might be fooling around though.
They might be fooling around though.
There one already operating at Hogsmeade station.
What's the date today Vern?
INT. SANTANDER HQ. DAY
A group of TIRED-LOOKING OLD BANKERS sit around a table, clearly in the throes of deep self-hatred.
BANKER ONE: So we’re decided, then. No April Fools’ joke from us this year.
BANKER TWO: But I love April Fools’ Day.
BANKER ONE: Jeremy, no. We’re a bank. Public trust is our lifeblood. The moment we betray that, even jokingly, our business falls to ashes. I’ve made my decision.
BANKER TWO: But...
BANKER ONE: But what?
BANKER TWO: What if we made our April Fools’ joke so awful, so completely unnecessary and clunky, that it barely even counted as a joke? What if we just did the first crappy PhotoShop job we could think of and lazily tweeted it out with such a shrug that people would barely even pay attention to it? Could we do one then? Could we.
BANKER ONE: Fine. But make sure it’s really pointless, Jeremy. Our reputation is at stake.
THREE HOURS LATER:
The BANKERS high-five, and then burst into tears.
Fin.
Not whilst cycling a bike thoughI take my bike trailer round Waitrose - in fact, they have some which you can borrow.
I take my bike trailer round Waitrose - in fact, they have some which you can borrow.
But I think the bouncy aisle for getting stuff off the top supermarket shelves is a great idea, being a not-very-tall newt.