I hate mobile phones!
I am with Vodafone, I went to their shop when I needed a new one. Conversation went something like:
Salesman (beaming from ear to ear): "Hello sir! Can I interest you in the new Nokia Whizzbang 60000 with full internet browsing capabilities, facebook, google, gurgle, twitter and twat?"
"Not really."
"Oh ... er ... what are your lifestyle usage profile requirements?"
"You mean, what do I need to phone for?"
"Yeah, umm yeah, I suppose, yes".
"I want to be able to phone people and send text messages".
"Oh. Will you need access to your Mobile Office?".
"No."
"Ok. Will you need touch-screen access to the internet?".
"No."
"So you want to call and text, (laughs), I think they all do that! What other lifestyle packages do you need?"
"I don't."
"You don't?"
"No. Just the calling and the texting. On a phone with buttons that goes 'ring, ring' when someone calls and 'beep' when someone texts".
"Oh, sir, all our phones come with a variety of real-phonic ring tones and with our integrated internet lifestyle package you can download thousands more!".
"I don't want real-phonic ring tones, or internet, or twitter or tweet or twat, or lifestyle office usage profile google. I just want a phone. A bog ordinary phone that I can call and text people on. That's all."
<silence>
"Oh, umm, I'm sorry sir! We don't sell anything like that".