My problem is water, our house is 50 yards ish from the road so no hosepipe feasible so I tend to do a 3 bucket wash, one for the wheels, another to wash, another to rinse. In 50 years of driving,, probably only been through car washes 5 times, I like washing them, not paying someone or something else to do it.
Now of course, bucket washes are not particually good for the paintwork, I accept that and be as careful as I can.
Waxing, got a tub of Meguirers diamond wax paste (can't remember the.name), not too bad to get on and buff.
Don't do it (washing or waxing) often enough, I'm a bit lazy with cars. Wash maybe every 2 or 3 weeks, wax 3 or 4 times a year.